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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 69

post #1361 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower01 View Post
"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.
Especially when it is not necessarily true
post #1362 of 1466
I can't remember if I posted this one already. I'm pretty sure I didn't since I think I just remembered it.

Last month, we went to visit family in Texas for a few weeks. My cousin has a baby boy who was 9 months old at the time. My little girl was 13 months old.

My grandmother's husband doesn't like the babies pulling the VHS movies off of the shelf for some weird reason, so we would have to watch them and make sure they didn't. My daughter, who didn't know the rules yet, went over to the shelf a few times to play with them and I had to go over and tell her "no, sweetheart, those belong to Pa-tu and he doesn't like us playing with them." Then I would pick her up and move her somewhere else.

My cousin asked me after the second time I did this in one night, "don't you ever spank her?" I said, of course not! I tell her no and we go do something else. She learns after a few tries.

My cousin just smirked at me and said "well, I just give my baby a good smack and that's how he learns."

I was absolutely horrified! Seriously!? A nine-month-old!?
post #1363 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower01
"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tari Mithrandir View Post
Especially when it is not necessarily true
I have often had MIL hint in that direction, though she hasn't ever actually said it outright ... but a very snarky response about how her oldest son is heading for marriage #3, her daughter is divorced and miserable and her youngest son (DH) had all sorts self-confidence issues he had to deal with comes to mind and I have to bite my tongue as I don't want to be nasty. We aim to raise self-confident and most importantly happy kids and I don't see how spanking and CIO will possibly do any good.
post #1364 of 1466
My mil always insists that her babies slept perfectly, from the day they were born. Perfect naps, no nighttime wakings, so easy. She acts very concerned that my kids have trouble sleeping when we're visiting (which I think is perfectly normal). I want to scream every time she talks about her perfect sleepers....since I know it can't possibly be true! And it just makes me feel bad!
post #1365 of 1466
This one isn't particularly dumb, but was so mainstream 20th century American that I didn't know how to respond. An acquaintance asked if our 18mo DD is "off the bottle". I responded, "Um, I guess so, since she was never really on the bottle". She still nurses about a million times a day and has only ever had about 5 bottles in her life, from back when I was still working. But our friend asked about bottle, not boob. I'm not sure what is the point of the question is. Maybe it's just a way to make small talk.
post #1366 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower01 View Post
"Mine turned out fine..."

This has become my all time most hated one-liner. I am so sick of people using this line to justify every bad parenting decision they've made.
I always want to say, "Well, we're aiming for something better than 'fine' for our children."
post #1367 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Snuzzmom View Post
I always want to say, "Well, we're aiming for something better than 'fine' for our children."
Actually, I think that would be a really great response
post #1368 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFox05 View Post
This one isn't particularly dumb, but was so mainstream 20th century American that I didn't know how to respond. An acquaintance asked if our 18mo DD is "off the bottle". I responded, "Um, I guess so, since she was never really on the bottle". She still nurses about a million times a day and has only ever had about 5 bottles in her life, from back when I was still working. But our friend asked about bottle, not boob. I'm not sure what is the point of the question is. Maybe it's just a way to make small talk.
"Yup, off the bottle for a LONG time. He's still nursing, though, like a million times a day," with a big .
post #1369 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by FREEmom1120 View Post
You don't get sick from cold feet anyway!!

Omg.... when ds was born his father's mom and grandma (now my ex) freaked out because I didn't put socks on him when he was 3 months old. It was freaking JULY and hot as hell. They told him if I didn't put socks on that baby until he was at least a year old he would stay sick all the time. Of course they also didn't like that I decided to child led wean or vax him. Ha ...or any other parenting choices. However, I am proud to say that he is 3 years old and been sick 3 times in his life. Twice with strep and one ear infection. Other than that he is the healthiest kid I know and not just cause he's mine but also one of the brightest and sweetest . I tell ya...some of these "old wives tales" scare me to death. I'm willing to bet that's why many poor babies didn't make it past a year old. I was terrified the first time ds had a fever and I was at work. I threatened dp if he did anything his mother told him to do before consulting me I would kill him. I just knew she'd tell him to pack ds in ice or rub him with alcohol.... :
post #1370 of 1466
I got to hear some lovely drivel last Shabbat. On the subject of CIO, someone said (she has a 7month old) "we don't do it for us. We do it for them," about CIO. Someone else was talking about how wonderful Karo syrup is in her twins' bottles and another mom with a 6 month old was talking about turning her dd's carseat because she (dd) likes to have her (mom) in sight.
post #1371 of 1466
There are some freaky "old wives tales" out there,
but I still say it's the "old doctors' tales" that can do the real damage
post #1372 of 1466
Not advice, but a stupid/hurtful comment, and from DH at that!

DD took her first step at 9 months old. Was walking around holding onto my fingers and just let go, took a step and then sat down. I was ECSTATIC, of course. But DH said, "That's it?" and then tried to tell me that it couldn't possibly count as her first step because it "wasn't that exciting". :

This was years ago and it still makes me angry to think about. Of course, this is the same guy who was disappointed that it wasn't necessary for him to drive like a mad-man, speeding and running lights, to get me to the hospital while in labor.

I think he watches too much TV.
post #1373 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelamariebee View Post

I think he watches too much TV.
:
post #1374 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelamariebee View Post
Not advice, but a stupid/hurtful comment, and from DH at that!

DD took her first step at 9 months old. Was walking around holding onto my fingers and just let go, took a step and then sat down. I was ECSTATIC, of course. But DH said, "That's it?" and then tried to tell me that it couldn't possibly count as her first step because it "wasn't that exciting". :

This was years ago and it still makes me angry to think about. Of course, this is the same guy who was disappointed that it wasn't necessary for him to drive like a mad-man, speeding and running lights, to get me to the hospital while in labor.

I think he watches too much TV.
laughup
post #1375 of 1466
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:


We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...
post #1376 of 1466
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by teale View Post
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:


We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...
She thinks it's wrong that kids who are homeschooled are the same as kids who are schooled outside the home?

If she's bringing up topics like that, she might not be as clueless about your plans to homeschool as you think, btw.
post #1377 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by teale View Post
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:


We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...
I don't get people who think that kids only learn to socialize at school and never if they are homeschooled - as if they think homeschooled kids aren't allowed to leave the house.

Homeschooled kids get to socialize more and it's with people of all different age groups and people of their own choosing rather than ONLY people their exact age and then be forced to make friends within that group.

Besides, didn't these people ever GO to school? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SOCIALIZE IN SCHOOL. You sit at a desk and stay still and don't talk. Then you get fifteen minutes to play at recess. Sounds like the perfect way to socialize to me.
post #1378 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
She thinks it's wrong that kids who are homeschooled are the same as kids who are schooled outside the home?

If she's bringing up topics like that, she might not be as clueless about your plans to homeschool as you think, btw.
Ah, yes, I told DH that too. Where she would have found out is beyond me, since the only people who know, is DH, and a couple of good friends who don't speak to her/know her.

But, I hazard a guess she might see where our style is going.

Quote:
She thinks it's wrong that kids who are homeschooled are the same as kids who are schooled outside the home?
Oh, no, she thinks that homeschooled children are socially awkward, naive, sheltered children who will not know how to function in society.

There's no possible way that children who *gasp* don't attend a public school could turn out to be smart, and well adjusted! It's just not possible.

Or so says the MIL.

Quote:
I don't get people who think that kids only learn to socialize at school and never if they are homeschooled - as if they think homeschooled kids aren't allowed to leave the house.

Homeschooled kids get to socialize more and it's with people of all different age groups and people of their own choosing rather than ONLY people their exact age and then be forced to make friends within that group.

Besides, didn't these people ever GO to school? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SOCIALIZE IN SCHOOL. You sit at a desk and stay still and don't talk. Then you get fifteen minutes to play at recess. Sounds like the perfect way to socialize to me.
I know, right? DH brought up the fact that at least one parent would have to be home at all times, leaving more opportunity to socialize with other homeschooling children.

I can laugh now, but while we were there, I think we left a good 10 minutes after that discussion. I couldn't stand the ignorance.
post #1379 of 1466
Plus, doesn't anyone here have traumatic memories of the social issues in school? I had a miserable time from the day I started preschool until the day I left high school. I always had a few friends but I am not one of those "everyone likes her" type of people. I also lived in one of the most affluent counties in the country while my mother was a student and we were living on gov't grants, subsidized housing, student loans, and welfare. Yeah, I didn't fit in with the kids whose parents were doctors and lawyers that lived in million dollar houses and wore two hundred dollar outfits. It took me years to recover from middle school. I don't really want to homeschool, but if my kids have anything like the type of experience I did, I will pull 'em out of school in a heartbeat and hs.
post #1380 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by teale View Post
Oh I have a new gem from the inlaws this weekend:


We were discussing homeschooling (they have no idea we intend to homeschool), and MIL goes, "There is something not right about kids who are homeschooled".

I raised my eye brows, and I said, "What?"

MIL: They just seem off, or funny, or something. It's like they don't know how to socialize.
DH: Well, then maybe it's a case where the parents didn't make the effort or time to make sure they socialized them outside of the home properly.
MIL: It's not the same thing.
DH: What do you mean?
MIL: Socializing them like that is not the same thing as going to school.
Me: Huh, well, homeschooled kids are generally smarter and better adjusted in terms of socializing, I find.
MIL: No. I don't think so. What about when they go to college? What do they do?
DH: They go to college like every other scared kid who enters the school?
MIL: Yeah, I think it's just wrong.

So apparently, when we decide to homeschool, we're going to have some issues. I can't wait to see her face when we tell her...
Well, I agree-- it's not the same. Depending on the child, homeschooling is probably BETTER for them! Not every child fits so neatly into the public school system. I'd tell her THAT! lol
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