What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 12

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by staceycanada

My sister in law said she had to stop nursing her baby and give it formula because........... she( my sister in law) was allergic to her own let down reflex. AUGGGG!

I'll bet she was talking about how the breast gets itchy sometimes during letdown. ...Or is that obvious already?

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by mamalisa

Ds was pretty jaundiced and ended up back in the hospital to be under the billi lights when he was a newborn. The dr told me when I took him home to put him in front of a sunny window (it was December) for a bit every day to help flush the rest of the bili out. I'm not sure if it worked or not, but I did it and he improved pretty fast.

It probably did work as sunlight and breastmilk (breastfeeding) are both very good remedies for jaundice.

[bvnms]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

This from an ex coworker who I could not STAND.

One day at work she was boasting to our other coworkers that she knew the best parenting trick to keep teenage girls from getting pregnant. She said that when her daughter was eleven or twelve, she had another baby (my coworker, not her daughter). She boasted

"When the baby was born, I made my daughter completely take care of the baby all by herself. She had to change all of the diapers, do all of the feedings, even at night, and I didn't have to lift a finger the whole time. I told her that's what having a baby is like and she'd better not get pregnant as a teenager. That's how you teach girls not to get pregnant when they are young. It'll ruin your childhood."

I was absolutely HORRIFIED at this woman. For one thing, it's horrible to teach children that having kids is a punishment. For another, it was HER baby, not her daughter's baby. Her daughter didn't decide to have the baby, SHE did, which makes the baby MOM's responsibility, not the daughter's.

And for GOODNESS' SAKE, the daughter never got pregnant, so why on earth would you punish her in advance for something she's never even done? Ruin her childhood? Yeah, it ruins your childhood. She ruined her daughter's childhood and made that poor kid raise a child she never got pregnant with and never wanted almost on her own and even have to get up for the night feedings while HAVING TO GO TO SCHOOL!

And that, I believe, is the most messed up parenting advice I've ever heard.

And our coworkers' responses on hearing this little bit of advice? They all agreed that she was some kind of genius and would all be doing that with their daughters if they had any.

I wonder if my mom knew this woman? This is pretty much what happened to me except I had to quit school.

Some of my own...
When Steph was about a month or so old, an aunt of mine who I hadn't seen for a few years asked me if that was mine. I was breastfeeding while she was standing there talking to me.

When I was pregnant with Melly, an older lady told Steph to tell me to get my tubes tied. I was quick to tell this person that when or if I get my tubes tied it was nobody's business but my own and I would not be consulting my children on that matter.

When Steph was a few months old, my grandmother gave her cereal while I was taking a shower and constantly pushed me to give her a laxative because she was grunting when she would have a messy diaper.

I do have a bit of a weird family. Sometimes I have to wonder if I was adopted but I look too much like my mom for that to be the case.

[aurora_skys]

well my baby is still on the inside but i have had some dumb things said to me...

about my miscarriage:
from my mom "well next time you'll eat more folic acid, wont you."

from my neighbor, in a very authoritative voice (she mistaken believes that she knows everything and, incidentally, has never miscarried) "they could have stopped it if you'd gone to hospital. As soon as you started bleeding you should have gone to the hospital." Yes, wonderful thing to tell a newlywed who's just lost her honeymoon baby... I miscarried at 6 weeks, wtf did she think a hospital could do with that?!? It just makes me mad that Americans are so woefully uninformed about miscarriage. Everyone but my husband acted like it was my fault!

about my next pregnancy:
from same neighbor "It's ok to smoke. I quit smoking through half of dd2's pregnancy and she only weighed a few ounces more (than dd1 who was smoked through) so all that stuff about smoking is crap." and, holding her hands about 2 feet apart "when you're stretched out this wide you'll be screaming for the epidural!"
lol I havent told her that I will be having the baby in the house!

The ob office gave me formula so i asked my formula feeding friends if they wanted it for their 10 month old and they said "no, we just feed him organic cows milk now." What?! Like the organic meant it was complete nutrition for a 10 mo old? They also said "You should keep it just in case." So that formula got thrown away immediately.

And my mil telling me that leaking breasts at 15 weeks meant "something was wrong" and that I should have them checked for an infection lol. Good grief.

[HappyFox05]

aurora_skys, you need several big hugs , and I would like your neighbor's address so I can punch her.

Ok, JK about punching. But what a UA violation.

[aurora_skys]

Originally Posted by HappyFox05

aurora_skys, you need several big hugs , and I would like your neighbor's address so I can punch her.

Ok, JK about punching. But what a UA violation.

yea, i was speechless and just went inside the house. loking back im just baffled that anyone would think thats appropriate to say

i love this thread tho bc we get to vent

[Smokering]

*sigh* My FIL commented the other day, 'Of course you'll eventually have to supplement'. 'Er, why?', I said, wondering if he could conceivably be referring to tandem nursing or something which might vaguely justify the thought. He said 'Well, when she gets bigger'. I said 'Well no, supply increases with demand, so when she needs more milk my body will make it'. 'But what about when she's on semi-solids?' (Huh?) 'Well, she can be on semi-solids... and breastmilk...?'

The conversation sort of petered out there. I still don't see what he was getting at with the semi-solids thing.

Oh, and the inlaws and DH and I all had a weird convo about water-only hair washing the other day. DH, who occasionally doesn't know when to not say things, mentioned that people keep giving us baby shampoo and we don't need it. So of course they said 'No no, keep it, you'll need it when she gets bigger'. DH said 'No, we're not planning to use shampoo on her, like, ever'.
They: 'Well, you'll have to eventually'.
DH: 'Why? I don't'.
They (a little startled, glancing at his hair and finding it disappointingly clean): '..But that's different. She's a ba-- (realising that being a baby was a rather idiotic reason) --she's a girl'.
DH: 'Well, Sarah doesn't'.
They (giving me and my hip-length hair an even more shocked look): 'Then... what do you use?'
DH: 'Water'.
Me (trying to soften the blow, as it were): 'Well, I sometimes use herbs and things... oil, honey, tea...'
They: 'That wouldn't get the grease out'.
Me (thinking, Of course! I have a year's worth of invisible grease in my hair!): 'It does if you use the right kind of hairbrush... it's complicated. Does anyone want another meringue?'
FIL (who had been thinking deeply): 'But you will need to use shampoo on the baby, because a lot of people in our family have very sensitive skin'.
DH and I, in unison: 'So that's a good reason to put chemicals on her head??'

Okay, that one was only vaguely baby-related, but it's just another example of why I find talking to the inlaws uphill work...

[Ellp]

My ILs have an annoying habit of "inspecting" my kids (they see them about once every couple of months), and looking for family traits.

They've commented that my oldest must be left handed because FIL is left handed. (So was my brother...)

Dd#2 is stubborn, and that comes from their side of the family...(sure, claim that one!)

Dd#1 is quite talkative, like FIL at that age. (Yeah, and so was I. And so is most 3yo's I know...)

Good grief, its like every personality and physical trait my kids have came from THEIR side of the family! They honestly get baffled when my kids do something that no one that they know has! :

Me? I just bite my tongue...

[beru]

My MIL was visiting for 10 days when my DS was 6 weeks old. She loves to cook and she likes making dinner when she visits but she will not plan the meal no matter how much I encourage her to. She doesn't want to make anything we don't want. For me, I find planning meals more energy consuming than making meals and it's not what I want to do when I have a newborn. So, before her visit, I decided to plan meals for the first few days of her visit to try to 1. rein her in from making 7 course meals and 2. avoid the incessant, daily harrassment of "what's for dinner? what's for dinner? If you tell me what's for dinner, I'll make it"...I told my DH it was his job to plan dinners for the rest of the week because as I mentioned, I hate meal planning.

Well, day 4 or 5 of the visit comes along and of course, my DH hadn't planned for dinner and my MIL starts asking me what's for dinner...

me: ask DH
MIL (shocked): but he worked all day
me: I told him last week to plan the dinners so he has had plenty of time to do it
MIL: well, since he didn't, what should we have for dinner
me: It's really hard for me to think about the meal planning all the time...if you weren't visiting and we realized we hadn't planned, we would just have sandwiches and canned soups or something.
MIL: But when you have visitors, you should expect extra work.
me (stuttering after a long pause with a shocked look on my face): you don't think this is a little different situation because I have a newborn?
MIL: silence (obviously, an implied "no"!)

I then left the room. I was stunned and I then realized that she had not come to help me with my baby, she had come for a "visit". I already knew from my experience when she visited after my first baby's birth not to expect her to do laundry or cleaning or anything when she visited. But I thought this was just a difference in perspective and she did think she was helping. No, she had no intention of helping, she wanted a vacation. This wouldn't be such a big deal if she had stayed at a hotel (which I hinted at strongly before she came). She actually expected me to play host to them during my maternity leave.

[HappyFox05]

A waitress offered DD, 5 mo, no teeth, ebf, a Nutri-grain bar. Um, she has NO TEETH.

[amberskyfire]

I told my mother today about my painful decision to start giving a pacifier to my 8-week-old in the car because she screams during car rides. She said to me, quite matter of factly:

"Do it the natural way. In the 1800s, they used to give babies a cloth soaked in sugar water to keep them quiet."

I was so shocked my jaw dropped. I immediately snapped back with:

"Well, they also used to give their babies Laudanum!"

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by beru

MIL: But when you have visitors, you should expect extra work.

"Then perhaps you should go home."

[Collinsky]

Originally Posted by aurora_skys

well my baby is still on the inside but i have had some dumb things said to me...

about my miscarriage:
from my mom "well next time you'll eat more folic acid, wont you."

from my neighbor, in a very authoritative voice (she mistaken believes that she knows everything and, incidentally, has never miscarried) "they could have stopped it if you'd gone to hospital. As soon as you started bleeding you should have gone to the hospital." Yes, wonderful thing to tell a newlywed who's just lost her honeymoon baby... I miscarried at 6 weeks, wtf did she think a hospital could do with that?!? It just makes me mad that Americans are so woefully uninformed about miscarriage. Everyone but my husband acted like it was my fault!

That's all I can say. WTH.

[Collinsky]

My mom works in daycare (and she's the kind of woman that you WANT working in daycare, if you need to use it ) and she has an endless supply of Dumb Things People Say. The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they *do no learn to swallow.*

[AniellasMommy]

Originally Posted by newmommy7-08

Her response in her typical I don't like what you're saying so here's my passive agressive answer was well what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's! I was totally floored!!!!!

I smiled sweetly and informed her that is she ever wanted one on one time she'd best change that attitude VERY quickly.

I'm still SUPER irritated by this tho!!!

Don't they realize they are shooting themselves in the foot? Like your are going to say "Oh man, your right.....guess theres nothing I can do....you win."

[ThreeBeans]

Originally Posted by Collinsky

My mom works in daycare (and she's the kind of woman that you WANT working in daycare, if you need to use it ) and she has an endless supply of Dumb Things People Say. The all time topper though was the woman who OWNED the daycare my mom was working at at the time who said with great authority that if you do not start a baby on solids before they are 7 months old, they *do no learn to swallow.*

:

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by beru

I then left the room. I was stunned and I then realized that she had not come to help me with my baby, she had come for a "visit".

Hope she didn't have too much trouble finding the restaurant you recommended that night or getting to the hotel the next morning.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

I told my mother today about my painful decision to start giving a pacifier to my 8-week-old in the car because she screams during car rides. She said to me, quite matter of factly:

"Do it the natural way. In the 1800s, they used to give babies a cloth soaked in sugar water to keep them quiet."

I was so shocked my jaw dropped. I immediately snapped back with:

"Well, they also used to give their babies Laudanum!"

Someone who recommends sugar water for babies might have to have it spelled out for them that Laudanum is opium and that opium is an illegal drug.

[Maeve]

I think the worst ones I ever got were:

Mil: (when my oldest dd was less than a year) You better quit nursing or she'll turn into a d*ke. :

Then when my oldest dd was little and having some growing pains in her legs, my mom said it was probably rickets from bf'ing. I told our ped that and the man who I pretty much never saw laugh up until then, busted out laughing so hard. He asked that we please don't take advice from her anymore (this wasn't the first gem).
She also said we shouldn't use cloth diapers because it would make our kids bowlegged and they would never play with their feet or learn to walk.
And of course, the "You shouldn't co-sleep, you will roll over and kill her".
Oh, and one more. With my last pregnancy, she said to my dd's that something will probably be wrong because I am so big. Real nice.

[elmh23]

We attend Mass every Sunday with my MIL and FIL. It's usually really nice. Today, however, was not. I've been sick for the last week with a really bad virus, and it flared during Mass, so my son and I left. He has been really fussy lately and then today before we left his sister fell flat on his face.

Anyways, dd, age 3, started crying towards the end of Mass. She wanted me and she was also not feeling great (the back of her head hit her brothers in the fall.) Here's the conversation as relayed by dh:

MIL: She has you guys so trained. You never would have done this and she NEVER does this with me.
DH: Mom, she had a hard morning and she wants her mom.
MIL: Well, still, she needs to know not to cry during Mass.

Dh didn't respond. Just wasn't worth it, plus this was during Communion. This has happened before. MIL just can not be positive about her grandchildren (or her children for that matter.)