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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 14

post #261 of 1466
Ok here's a dumb one that I almost fell for.
My neighbor knew I was having a boy and she is a buddinsky and she said something about circing him (The details are fuzzy b/c I was pregnant at the time and DS is now almost 3)
and b/c it's fun to irritate her I told her I wasn't circing him.
She told me I had to b/c her "neighbor's cousin's uncle's late father" or some such thing wasn't circ'd and he got an infection so bad he couldn't walk.

I had never seen an intact boy and I wasn't as knowledgeable as I am now but I went over to the CAC board and asked about this...
I was set straight!
post #262 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy2caroline View Post
And a family member said to me while I nursed my then 18 month old, "I don't think I'll nurse our kids that long, and I think they'll turn out *just fine.*" Like I said they wouldn't? My nursing of my own child is somehow a judgment on somebody else's hypothetical future parenting???
I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong." :
post #263 of 1466
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong." :
: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.
post #264 of 1466
I have two related to DS's dairy sensitivity...

Shortly after DS was diagnosed with a dairy sensitivity and I had eliminated all dairy from my diet, we went to visit my in-laws. At a brunch at their house, my BIL's mom overheard a conversation I was having with some other people about how if removing dairy from my diet didn't fix DS's tummy problems, I'd move onto eliminating soy. I started listing all the things I could try eliminating after that and it just got to be too much for my BIL's mom. She loudly burst into the conversation with "Well, they wouldn't let you give up all those foods! If it got to that point, they'd put him on a special formula." : That's right, folks... this mysterious, vague, all-powerful "they" not only has the right to choose what I do and don't eat, "they" can also make those decisions for my DS. :

My other one is more general. Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"
post #265 of 1466
I remembered another one...

When my first was about 13 months old, we were at a playgroup. A grandmother there who brought her granddaughter to the group asked me if my dd drank juice (she was passing it out at snacktime). I replied, "Not yet, she'll just have some water." The woman looked dumbfounded, then said, "But.. how does she get her vitamin C?"

I was kinda shocked... I responded that she did eat some fruit, and "I'm still breastfeeding her, so I'm sure she's getting some from that as well." The poor lady looked just a touch horrified, said, "Oh!" and then left me alone.
post #266 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
I find this to be the most irritating thing about parenting! EVERYONE always takes your own parenting practices as a personal insult to the way they raise their kids. You don't even have to say anything! They just see you with your happy baby and are instantly insulted that you are not doing it "their way" because obviously you do it just to prove that their way is "wrong." :
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.
Oh, how true it is! The hypocrisy ASTOUNDS me! And let's not forget that if you dare mention anything different to what they're doing, even as a polite suggestion (i.e. "I'm so tired of getting up all night long to nurse!" "We cosleep so that's not a problem for us, maybe you should give it a try, you'll get more sleep."), then you're SHOVING YOUR OPINION DOWN THEIR THROAT.
post #267 of 1466
MY PEDIATRICIAN telling me to start my baby on solids at 2 monts.
Gotta' love the south.
post #268 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
: And yet, they seem to think it's perfectly okay to say bad stuff about you parent and things like "we'll see how long *that* lasts" with a smug chuckle, and would accuse you of being over sensitive if you pointed out how rude they were being.
The "we'll see how long that lasts" with the knowing smile or chuckle is always irritating to me. I remember talking to one friend (who has a 2-year-old) when I was about 8 months pregnant. When I told her I was planning on a natural childbirth, I got one of those "yeah, right, that's what you say now, wait till they offer you the epidural" comments. Later in the conversation, I told her we were planning to cloth diaper, and got yet another knowing look, as she said, "good luck... we'll see how long that lasts!" I know she was 100 percent convinced that neither thing would come to pass.

I actually like this woman a lot, and I think she's a great mother - she also pumped for 14 months despite working fulltime at a demanding job - but the knowing tone her voice irked me so much. I have to admit, I took some satisfaction in letting her know that I did, in fact, have a fully natural birth despite a long back labor, and that the cloth diapers were working wonderfully.

I'm not sure why it is that so many people see the decision to parent a certain way as a judgment on their different decisions, but it's SO true.
post #269 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by starwishful View Post
I started listing all the things I could try eliminating after that and it just got to be too much for my BIL's mom. She loudly burst into the conversation with "Well, they wouldn't let you give up all those foods! If it got to that point, they'd put him on a special formula." : That's right, folks... this mysterious, vague, all-powerful "they" not only has the right to choose what I do and don't eat, "they" can also make those decisions for my DS. :

My other one is more general. Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"
Wow. So what did you say?

And on another note, I had never heard of Galactosemia until the old thread, and my cousin's little boy has it.
post #270 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by GathererGirl View Post
Dear Auntie told me that in her country (Bolivia) people feed their babies and then put them down, because they have things to do and can't be holding their babies all day long. Because clearly I don't have things to do, being one of those lazy housewives/SAHMs and all.
That's a little strange. When my Aunt, who's in her early 70's saw DD in the sling she said, "that's so good for them, to be close to Mama. Back in Honduras all the women do that. When she gets older, you can put her on your back to keep her little hands out of the way" I was under the impression most of Central America had a tradition of babywearing.
post #271 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by mntnmom View Post
That's a little strange. When my Aunt, who's in her early 70's saw DD in the sling she said, "that's so good for them, to be close to Mama. Back in Honduras all the women do that. When she gets older, you can put her on your back to keep her little hands out of the way" I was under the impression most of Central America had a tradition of babywearing.
They do. Auntie is just a bit of a UA violation. She doesn't like me, so whatever I do is going to be the wrong thing.
post #272 of 1466
I got this one yesterday. My client (who has no children) told me that my baby - who obviously isn't chubby at all - is fat because I breastfeed her. :

This is the same lady who calls me up constantly and keeps asking me Dr. questions about her like "how much does she weigh? Is she eating enough? How many hours a day is she sleeping? Are you giving her 'tummy time?' How many ounces of milk does she drink a day?"

The lady is truly crazy.
post #273 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
I got this one yesterday. My client (who has no children) told me that my baby - who obviously isn't chubby at all - is fat because I breastfeed her. :
All I can say is HOLY CRAP IS THAT A GORGEOUS KID! And NOT fat.
post #274 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post
All I can say is HOLY CRAP IS THAT A GORGEOUS KID! And NOT fat.
Um. Thanks?

Hehe, I thought I only thought that because all moms think their kids are beautiful
post #275 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
Um. Thanks?

Hehe, I thought I only thought that because all moms think their kids are beautiful
No, she is beautiful!!!
post #276 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by starwishful View Post
Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"
Moo.





I actually nearly clocked a woman in Trader Joe's - of all places - last week. She glared and me with dd2 in the mei tai and asked, "isn't he cold?" (I didn't have a jacket on the baby, but it was warmish out and she had on a padded/well insulated romper, plus my body heat of course). I said, "no, she is fine."

Prune Face. Then, "Is his head really well enough supported in that?"

"Well," I replied, "she IS able to hold her head up on her own, (being six months old and all...) but yes, yes it is."

Another Prune Face. And THEN, she asks, "Aren't you afraid you're going to hit his head on the shopping cart handle?"

"No. No, I'm not."

I mean, WTF? The shopping cart handle? I am short, but really, yeah, I'm just gonna walk so close to the cart that I am going to constantly be banging my baby up. Honestly.

Then she gave me the stink eye throughout the store whenever she saw me again.


Another one of my favorites is when people, for
post #277 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by starwishful View Post
Whenever I had to explain to someone outside of my family/close friends that I wasn't eating dairy because DS was allergic, they nearly always replied with "But breastmilk is dairy!"
Moo.





I actually nearly clocked a woman in Trader Joe's - of all places - last week. She glared and me with dd2 in the mei tai and asked, "isn't he cold?" (I didn't have a jacket on the baby, but it was warmish out and she had on a padded/well insulated romper, plus my body heat of course). I said, "no, she is fine."

Prune Face. Then, "Is his head really well enough supported in that?"

"Well," I replied, "she IS able to hold her head up on her own, (being six months old and all...) but yes, yes it is."

Another Prune Face. And THEN, she asks, "Aren't you afraid you're going to hit his head on the shopping cart handle?"

"No. No, I'm not."

I mean, WTF? The shopping cart handle? I am short, but really, yeah, I'm just gonna walk so close to the cart that I am going to constantly be banging my baby up. Honestly.

Then she gave me the stink eye throughout the store whenever she saw me again.


I recently was also told that dd2 - again, this is a six month old - is SO ALERT!! Well, good gracious, I hope so. If she weren't I would be kinda worried, dontcha think?
post #278 of 1466
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dena View Post
I recently was also told that dd2 - again, this is a six month old - is SO ALERT!!
Cheerful grin "Yep, that's how I know she can breathe in there!"
post #279 of 1466
It's funny how everyone always seems to despise their MIL...well, my MIL is great and very supportive of all the AP we do (we live with my DH's parents, so they obviously see/know what we do with our DS). She even helped convince my DH that no vax/no circ is the right thing for our DS. What I need to complain about is my own mother. She calls DS "my baby boy" and everytime I talk to her (on the phone or when she comes to visit) I get to hear her advice/horror stories about my own childhood. "Oh, we always let you cry it out. Don't pick him up, you're spoiling him. Don't let him feed all the time when he wants to, you're spoiling him. He's manipulating you. You'll regret being so touchy feely with him." MY SON IS A WEEK OLD. HE'S NOT MANIPULATIVE, HE'S A HELPLESS LITTLE BABY! I love my DS and could never imagine just leaving him in another room to cry for hours. Oh, and co-sleeping is bad. And so is gentle discipline...my mom thinks kids need to be physically reprimanded. And since we're not vaxing..."if he gets really sick you know it will be your fault." Thanks, mom. Makes me realize two things: one, my mother is crazy and maybe that's why it took me a few years of therapy to be a happy, whole person...and two, thank God I have a wonderful and supportive MIL to turn to for motherly advice!
post #280 of 1466
ok i got an interesting nugget of child rearing "wisdom" from my neighbors (same neighbor i posted about earlier) 9 year old. Her 2 yr old sister was choking on some melted popsicle (which, dont even get me started on the massive sugar intake of these kids...) and the 9 yr old immediately grabbed her hand and pulled her arm straight up. When I asked what she was doing, she informed me that thats how you get a baby to stop coughing. I laughed and asked her "who told you that?" and she proudly announced "momma." I politely explained to her how you want people who are choking to cough, it's how they get rid of whatever they are choking on. She put her sisters arm down and the girl coughed for a little while longer until she'd handled the problem.

My dad is a retired firefighter and he instilled in us from a young age that when ppl are coughing, let them be, but when they are choking and cant cough/breath, try to help them. Im not sure where the logic is in yanking a babys arm above its head... It makes me sad that people just let their kids go through life relying on old wives tales.
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