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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 18

post #341 of 1466
My dad recently told me to dip the baby's pacifier in honey...I told him the baby doesn't take a pacifier, and current recommendations are to avoid honey before the age of 1 cause of botulism..."Well I'm not talking the whole bottle, just put a little on your finger then!"

Um...what part of "avoid honey" is confusing?
post #342 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJamie View Post
Um...what part of "avoid honey" is confusing?
my MIL/FIL also told me to do this when DS was a baby, and when i told them about the whole botulism thing, they honestly thought i was lying to them! again, they thought just a little would be fine (because that's what they did?)
post #343 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1littlebit View Post
my family and friends know im relactating and am now hoping ds will nurse instead of me just pumping.
Just wanted to send you some support and good vibes for this. Lactation is fascinating! Good luck!
post #344 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennadk3 View Post
"So who spanked him on the butt when he came out then"!!! LOL
I'm not sure whether to or Maybe a combo of both. I always feel a little bad when talking to some older people who were given such off ideas, when they realize the natural-ness of some things I say there is often a little sadness there. But it is what it is and I just try to give a different picture as gently as I can. My mom has had several of those sad moments where she is quiet for a minute and then says something like, we weren't told about all these options. I know she is second guessing her birth of me, I'm just grateful she was able to experience a home birth and I hope it was healing in some way for her. Sorry this is sooooooo OT.
post #345 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
"Actually, it's more that he's just now getting used to occasionally *not* being held. Remember, he had 9 whole months of being supported 24 hours a day 7 days a week. He's only had 6 tiny little helpless weeks in the big world. You try going from your comfy bed to climbing a mountain and see how you like it when someone tries to say that you're going to be spoiled by having a safety harness."
Oh if only mama brain would allow this come back to stay in my memory! I like it.
post #346 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by ishyfishie View Post
"OMG, baby needs to stay wrapped up, they can't regulate their temperature so it's very important to keep them wrapped up and warm!" Like my body heat does nothing for her, right? We hadn't even undressed her, just opened up the swaddling blanket and her little shirt. As soon as she left, we went back to what we were doing and she breastfed like a champ.
Grrrrrrr, mama's body is the supreme temperature regulator and is the #1 reason why babe and mama should be together and skin-to-skin so mama's body can do its job of temperature and breath regulation. It scares me the advice that comes from "professionals" to have the desired end result right but to attack the best path to the desired end result...so confusing to mom's who might have limited information/research.

But hey, I'm so happy you did know this already and did your thing, and so sweet that you guys got your relationship off to a great start from the very beginning! Love to hear that part of it!!
post #347 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by CowsRock View Post
I'm not sure whether to or Maybe a combo of both. I always feel a little bad when talking to some older people who were given such off ideas, when they realize the natural-ness of some things I say there is often a little sadness there. But it is what it is and I just try to give a different picture as gently as I can. My mom has had several of those sad moments where she is quiet for a minute and then says something like, we weren't told about all these options. I know she is second guessing her birth of me, I'm just grateful she was able to experience a home birth and I hope it was healing in some way for her. Sorry this is sooooooo OT.
I agree with this. Both of my grandmothers were actually told at the births of their children not to breastfeed and "that is what poor people do"...which my mom's mom was at the time Also my mother was not supported at all in her breastfeeding relationship with me. All of them are fascinated with me breastfeeding and are very supportive and tell me their stories of be discouraged from BF almost every time I see them...it is sad. My step dad actually said the other day "I think if your mom could breastfeed (my DS) she would in a heartbeat"

My grandmother's also say "I wish I knew about these things" when discussing my AP way of life. However my one grandmother is always asking me if she can buy DS a seat to sit in at her place so "you can have a break" meanwhile she just wants to hold him all the time when we are there
post #348 of 1466
I know, it is nuts isn't it? On one hand I want to dispel all those myths and bad advice they were given because I feel angry that they didn't get the chances I'm getting, that they missed out on these moments I'm having...well I guess I missed out on them too, from the baby point of view anyway. But on the other hand I think it is important to be very gentle with them. If I missed out on what I'm experiencing now, I would feel really bad and I try to remember that when we talk and I try to be as gentle as I can. My mom talks to me from the very best place though. I don't want to sound like I'm dismissing those people who have to deal with people shoving horrible advice at them and demanding they do things differently. My mom doesn't do that and she really thinks she is giving me sound advice and when I respond gently she truly hears me and doesn't push...not everyone has that relationship and I know that...just wanted to make sure those who have to deal with the pushy realize I know that is different - that totally sucks and is so hard to deal with.
post #349 of 1466
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
On the bright side though, a mainstream friend of mine came over last night and seemed surprisingly supportive. She swore she'd never seen someone breastfeed standing up before (!), but thought it was cool; and said 'So she spends all day in your arms, and sleeps with you? That's so cool! My parents brought me home from the hospital and said 'Here's your room''.
AP mama in training! Save up your parenting stuff for if she decides to have kids.
post #350 of 1466
This happened last night.

Yet again the subject of circ came up between me, my mom and my youngest brother. Keep in mind that my family is Baptist in the south.

My brother was teasing me as he usually does and had me look at a Bible verse one that was speaking of having it done on the 8th day. Well I went back in and said yeah and he was Jewish.

So what does my mom come off with.....she said and I quote "Well I'm Jewish I swear I think she would stand on her head and fart her socks off to get me to realize how wrong I was in leaving ds intact.
post #351 of 1466
lol why do people have such an issue when you dont slice and dice you DSs ? i have a circ link on my facebook and and a think about leaving my ds intact. someone sent me a facebook message that said i should take that off b/c it makes it seems like im against circumcision and its not like they cut of something that you need. how could you do that to DS now hes going to hate you because he looks different! I wrote back uh yeah easy for you to say your a girl its illegal to chop up your genitals. and im pretty confident DS wont hate for letting him keep his whole penis. ugh!

oo after i can home fuming b/c the doc tried to retract DS my aunt and my grandmother said i may think that she shouldnt but shes a doc so she obviously knows whats best. uh...because you become infallible on all things medical when you can put MD behind your name? my family loves doctors. they also said that i should be lucky the doctor wants to do a C section. I am being stubborn by fighting him on it and he obviously knows best. family... lol
post #352 of 1466
I'm still working through my anger at the following comments. Essentially they are implied criticisms of DH's and my parenting style.

FIL and step MIL who are both medical doctors, FIL being a professor and vice dean, told me that I am not intelligent enough to decide when to vax.... He also said that I have to have very convincing proof of dangers in vaxing from reliable sources in order to go against what 99% of the population are doing. I pointed out that of all the people who I know who are vaxing, they certainly are not doing it out of a sense of conviction and most don't even know what diseases they are vaxing against!!! And I don't have to offer him any proof for my decisions as DH's mum.... Silly man

That was the most annoying... but this couple don't stop telling me that in Denmark babies are wrapped up and put outside to cry themselves to sleep (I have no idea if this is true or not). Pretty much every time DS is picked up this is mentioned..

Also when their dog was barking hysterically and DS started to cry FIL said: "well at least we know DS can hear well"!!! Idiot, there has been no question as to whether DS can hear or not. He should have put dog away until she calmed down.

Ummmm, I could basically keep going, but it's all just old school stuff and because they are doctors they think they can tell me what to do. They are just super conservative and are having a hard time accepting strange ideas like cosleeping, nursing on demand, baby wearing, etc. I think they honestly believe that I am ruining their grandchild
post #353 of 1466
I love this thread. And I have a couple

When I was six months pregnant, I took my car in to get the VA safety and emissions inspections. The auto mechanic looked at me and said "You shouldn't be out here. You should be at home!" Wow ... he's a mechanic AND a doctor!

When DS was seven days old I went to the pharmacy to pick something up. I was standing in line and the man behind me asked how old DS was. So I told him seven days. He then told me I shouldn't take DS out because he'd get sick and die. Huh??

And I can't count the number of times I've been told to just add rice cereal to the baby's bottle to get him to sleep through the night. Um .. no! He's bf and honestly, with cosleeping, I really don't mind feeding him in the middle of the night.
post #354 of 1466
Oh, this is a good one from last week when we were having a heat wave.


I was in the supermarket with the baby in a carrier and a lil ol' lady came up to coo over him.

Then she looked down at his feet.

*shock, gasp* "He doesn't have any shoes!"

Me: "Nope, doesn't need 'em"

Her: " You better put shoes on him or he'll grow up like that! "


Me:
post #355 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThreeBeans View Post
Her: " You better put shoes on him or he'll grow up like that! "


Me:
Grow up barefoot? Yes, and if you don't give him a mustache now, he'll grow up like that. Same for neckties.
post #356 of 1466
So if we never put shoes on our babies, they'll never learn how to go purchase and wear some? They'll HAVE to stay barefoot? Intersting.
post #357 of 1466
I was in Joann Fabrics the other day and I had ds in the sling and he was nursing most of the time we were in there. When we were getting ready to check out he started to get fussy b/c he wanted out of the sling so me and my sil went and ate at the food court (our Joann is in a mall). A little bit later I went back to Joanns to get a gift for my mother's birthday since they had some pretty nick-nacks on sale and whenever I was checking out that cashier said "Did that mean mommy finally get you something to eat?" : I was so shocked that I didn't say anything but I'm sure I had a very puzzled/angry look on my face.

Oh, and the day before that a lady from the census bureau came to ask question and ds comes running in the kitchen in a bg 3.0 and she asked if that was some sort of training pants and I informed her it was a cd and she looked at him and said "Oh you should be using the potty by now!" and he's only 18 months.

It's just really annoying that people think they have the right to tell you all these things since you're a parent or b/c they raised their kids a certain way! ugh....
post #358 of 1466
I officially got the start of the solids talk today from my sister. I mentioned that DS2 has his first tooth already and she was holding him so she started telling "Oh so your ready for the real stuff now!" I said something off hand like "Not until he can sit on his own" because I didnt want to listen to them arguing with me on delaying solids. It'll be interesting to see when they find out I plan to nurse to at least 1 (I'd love to make it to 2) and solids won't come into play until he shows some kind of interest and he has the teeth to chew. One tooth isnt quite enough for that.
post #359 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by ema-adama View Post

That was the most annoying... but this couple don't stop telling me that in Denmark babies are wrapped up and put outside to cry themselves to sleep (I have no idea if this is true or not). Pretty much every time DS is picked up this is mentioned..
My mom said that in Germany, when the weather is nice, they used to take a napping baby and sit outside with it (in the shade) because the fresh air was good for them. Maybe that's what they are mistakenly referring to? There was no crying involved though

Quote:
Originally Posted by elmh23 View Post
So if we never put shoes on our babies, they'll never learn how to go purchase and wear some? They'll HAVE to stay barefoot? Intersting.
Cool!
post #360 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
I swear I think she would stand on her head and fart her socks off to get me to realize how wrong I was in leaving ds intact.
I. almost. peed. my. pants.:
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