What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 3

[clintonhillmama]

Originally Posted by milkybean

Woman walks by, looks him up and down, looks at the baby...says...."You look as though you stole that child." And walked away.


Later on when DS was of playing-in-playground age, they were at the playground at our apt complex, having a grand time while I made dinner. They came in, much earlier than expected, DH almost in tears. They left, quickly, because he heard a woman on her balcony overlooking the play area, calling the police on him because there was a strange man in the playground who didn't have a child that looked like him there. We could feel glad that she was vigilant, but these were our *neighbors*.

nak
i get a version of this too, since i am dark & ds is blond, dd is ginger, both w. blue eyes.... but since i am a woman, people assume that i'm their babysitter!

[ElisMomma]

I get quite a lot of flak from just about everybody for CoSleeping and carrying DS all the time. After I explained to my mother about CS she's much more supportive. However she still thinks I need to let ds learn to be alone by leaving him alone more often. I think it's more because she wants ds to be more comforted by her than me. She likes to show him off in public and doesn't correct anyone when they think it's hers - she does look very young. It's frustrating but they're smitten with him.

[MilkTrance]

I now really, really want to see photos of that dark-eyed DH and the little baby with red hair and amber eyes. They both sound SO gorgeous!

[didkisa]

Originally Posted by FREEmom1120

It's really weird but my MIL is the opposite. DD is the spitting image of dh, but she always says she looks like me. It's so strange because I thought she'd be all about saying she looked like dh no matter what.

I HATE when people say a baby looks like anyone other than the mother or father though.

Hehe, my stepdad, who is absolutely no blood relation to my DD, loves bragging that DD got his blue eyes. Whateva!

[LaurenB]

I've gotten several comments on Ramona's round head too. But a few older women have taken it a step farther to then ask me if I had a cesarean. "Beautiful round head! She's a cesarean baby, right?" I know they don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but the first couple of times this came up it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Yes, cesarean.

[eunytuny]

Dh's nephew's gf just had a baby and I've been gently encouraging bf. They dont have 2 dimes to rub together so I was touting how cheap bm is and she just said "My mom said it hurts and WIC pays for all the formula anyway.

[Bromache]

I'm enjoying this thread, though some things are very maddening. Some people are so dumb, and rude!

I have two (minor) things to share. (1) My SIL, after seeing me with my DS for a few hours for the first time when he was about 2mo, said "I've totally decided I'm never going to breastfeed after watching you!" : I don't even know what that's supposed to mean, but based on the bits I know about her, I would chalk it up to her being too selfish to put the time and effort in. Makes me feel sad for her LO on the way now...

(2) My "second mother" (she and her DH have been best friends with my parents since before I was born and I spent more time around them than my extended family) told me she was "very worried" about me around the same time as the first incident. I asked "Why?" and she responded that I "really needed a break" because of EBFing and CSing with DS, who was going through major colic at the time! "Don't worry -- we're just fine!" is what I told her. Sure, I would have loved some help for me and DH going through that (we were several provinces away from family and friends, so we were all on our own unfortunately), but she really meant I should make him sleep in a separate room and CIO to get a break. Yeah right, like I could relax while my DS screamed in another room. Gimme a break. I love her to death, but she always invested more in her dogs than her kids, IMO.

Other than that, I hate when people ask if he's STTN yet, strangers and family alike. Arrgghh!! First of all, is that your business? Second, why do you care? But I guess it's just a generic thing to ask. Oh, well.

On a personal level, friends

[bigeyes]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

My MIL does the "my grandbaby" thing, too. My husband and I moved to Hawaii from Texas a few years ago and when I got pregnant in June, she freaked out and got really mad at my husband for being "so irresponsible." Um hello? We've been married EIGHT YEARS! She wouldn't talk to us for two months and then when she finally did speak to us again, she said she was mad because we had moved so far away and we were "keeping her grandbaby from her."

She's MY baby, not hers! :

ARGH! My mother, when I was moving to CA, asked me to let her adopt my son, and just leave without him.

WTF?

Like I'd let them have a shot at effing up another generation.

[bigeyes]

Originally Posted by amberskyfire

My MIL does the "my grandbaby" thing, too. My husband and I moved to Hawaii from Texas a few years ago and when I got pregnant in June, she freaked out and got really mad at my husband for being "so irresponsible." Um hello? We've been married EIGHT YEARS! She wouldn't talk to us for two months and then when she finally did speak to us again, she said she was mad because we had moved so far away and we were "keeping her grandbaby from her."

She's MY baby, not hers! :

ARGH! My mother, when I was moving to CA, asked me to let her adopt my son, and just leave without him.

WTF?

Like I'd let them have a shot at effing up another generation.

[chicasmama]

One day a girlfriend calls me up and tells me she is "very conserned" I'm thinking 'about what?' she goes on to tell me I'm depriving my 4 month old child of food when she is obviously ready for solids. I ask her why she thought that. Her response was "the other day when we were hanging out-I saw her eyeballing my bagel-she was grabbing for it!" Then goes on to tell me that if I don't start her on food she will have sensory issues and be screwed up for life She was dead serious! I tried to explain to her that if she had a crack pipe in her hand my dd would have tried to grab it~it doesn't mean she 'needs' it! She really couldn't get the whole delaying of solids. She argued w/ me that a baby cannot survive on breastmilk it's entire first year of life....blah blah blah. Needless to say-we don't talk or hang out anymore, not after I caught her trying to give my dd (who was 6 months old at the time) some orange soda

[Tithonia]

I think the craziest thing is when people who really don't know your baby, or babies in general, try to give you advice. When my DD was about 3 months old she would take about 5 40-min. naps per day. She would hang out with my DH in the library while I was in class, and one day a middle-aged bachelor student, who often gave him unwelcome advice, told him that we should stop letting her nap so much, so she would sleep better at night.

Um... she was sleeping through the night at that point...

(often wish that were still true!)

[newmommy7-08]

So I've been reading ALL of these threads and I FINALLY have something to add. LAst weekend we were together w/ all of DH's family. his aunt had her 14mo GD and was feeding her jello w/ a cream topping. Everyone was laughing about all the stuff parents are now told not to do and talking about how they think it's just the dr's way of making the grandparents feel dumb. DH's aunt goes on to say if her daughter catches her giving her GD this jello she'll kill her since the baby throws up milk anytime she has it. I was totally shocked by this!!!! As I was deciding wether or not to say anything baby's mom walked into the room and informed her mom that this time she was safe... because however this topping was made it didn't use milk... I have no idea what it was but since she had made it she'd know...

That takes me to part two. I'm currently 6+ months pg w/ my first and a few days later I was w/ my MIL and told her that the situation made me uncomfortable. I wanted her to understand that this baby would be getting my milk until WE (DH and I) decided differently. I also explained why (food allergies etc... allergies run rampant in his family) Her response in her typical I don't like what you're saying so here's my passive agressive answer was well what happens at grandma's stays at grandma's! I was totally floored!!!!!

I smiled sweetly and informed her that is she ever wanted one on one time she'd best change that attitude VERY quickly.

I'm still SUPER irritated by this tho!!!

[mumto2]

This is bsby number 3 for me so I am much more relaxed and able to ignore so much more of the nonsence I hear. Believe me I have had plenty of practise.


Conversation with nurde practicioner for well baby visit. I actually only wanted ds weighed and measured so i can fill out his book same as the older two to prevent that third child syndrome. Anyway, that can't be done apparantly without my jumping through hoops

NP: you should be expressing now and storing it for when you leave the baby.
Me: Oh I have a plentiful supply and I'm not planning to leave the baby at the moment. (Ds was 6 weeks old)
NP: What about when you go to a wedding.
Me: Well i don't have any weddings on at the moment and I would just bring him with me.
NP: Well you should just get out by yourself then, the baby will be fine.
Me: I had two miscarriages and then fertility treatment to have this baby, he's 6 weeks old, he comes with me.
NP: Well just make sure you don't carry him all the time or he'll expect it then.
Me: Can we just do the weigh and measure?

I undress ds and she gasps to see a cloth diaper.

NP: Ewww.. I didn't think anyone used those anymore, we have disposables you know.
Me: Mmmm
NP: Well you'll have to stop using them when he's 12 months old or he'll never learn to walk.
Me; Really? (with a smirk) We all walk just fine and we wore cloth.
NP: Well that was before, modern kids just won't be able to do it.

I ran as fast as I could from that place!!!

[BF124497]

.

Edited by BF124497 - 6/1/12 at 10:12pm

[HappyFox05]

Originally Posted by mumto2

I undress ds and she gasps to see a cloth diaper.

NP: Ewww.. I didn't think anyone used those anymore, we have disposables you know.
Me: Mmmm
NP: Well you'll have to stop using them when he's 12 months old or he'll never learn to walk.
Me; Really? (with a smirk) We all walk just fine and we wore cloth.
NP: Well that was before, modern kids just won't be able to do it.

I ran as fast as I could from that place!!!

OMG, our children will never walk normally. They're doomed. DOOMED!!

[CAHemmerich]

Arg, family.

When we first were learning bf (with my first) most times my girl would get overwhelmed at the amount of milk in her mouth and latch off, at which point my let down would continue and milk would spray everywhere. upon seeing this, my grandmother got into the HABIT of saying "you're a good little cow". she actually just said it to me again the other day (oldest is 2yr 7mo) as if cows are the only ones who make milk. Hasn't she heard of a whole class of animals called MAMMALS!!!???

Then, when I was pg with our second, she said, after not seeing me for a while, "well, I'm sure you must be just enormous. you were HUGE with Charlotte". At the time I was 4 or 5 mo's, and still in the just looking fat stage. and, no matter what she thought, the largest I measured with charlotte was 38 cm, and regardless, I was probably back into size 12 jeans when Charlotte was 4 mo. hardly compares to a 22/24. guess who wears that size?

When we told my sister-in-law we were expecting our second she literally choked on her drink and exclaimed, "of course this couldn't have been planned!"

A couple months later, upon being told we were having a midwife, not an obstetrician, my mother-in-law said "you're not in the mental state to make a rational decision about the birth of your child" I hadn't even gotten to the part where we said we were going to have a homebirth! Then, when that choice info came out 2 min later, my same sister-in-law laughed, looked me dead in the face, and said "yeah, good luck with THAT!" she also told me she couldn't imagine me as the mother of 2 kids. then, not even hours later, she flipped out because her 18mo son was playing pretend and put his stuffed doggy down to my dog's water dish to drink and got him wet. hmm, is this a competence judge? (and, ironically, they have a dog at home too)

Then once #2 was born (unfortunately after a hospital transfer during labor) same sister-in-law told my husband she was "so glad" we had come to our senses and birthed in the hospital. we named her Chloe- same sister-in-law told my husband that we had used "her" name - the one she wanted for a future daughter. I couldn't, in good conscience, have been glad about it if we had planned it that way, but am I secretly happy? ummm, yes! he he! (apparently I missed the day in school when we were told we had to clear our name choice with our in-laws. particularly our in-laws who wore red, strapless, sweatheart neckline, would-embarass-fredericks-of-hollywood dresses to my WEDDING!)

yeah, Don't think I'm rushing to have any of them come to town again any time soon.

[mamallama]

Originally Posted by veganjoy

Her side of the family also tells me that, since G is so robust and healthy, she probably needs more nutrition than breastmilk alone.

This is my favorite! Love the logic!

[HappyFox05]

Originally Posted by Jezzy

Mil said...that her first words were going to be Oma

You could tell her that in some cultures (Korea's, for instance) "Oma" means "Mama".

[MamaRBH]

I was at WalMart and my DD was a babe and was very fussy....I had her in the pouch and I was just calmly and quietly pacing in the front of the store to calm her. A man walked up to me and told me, "When she gets older and does that in the store, you'll have to make sure she knows it's not acceptable." He proceeded to tell me he'd take his son home and hit him with a piece of long decorative grass from their front yard. I cut him off, told him I didn't appreciate him speaking to me let alone tell me what he did, and walked away. Unfortunely I couldn't get the whole thing out of my head for weeks. WalMart......sheesh!!!

[milkybean]

nothing new outrageous here, just responding

Originally Posted by clintonhillmama

nak
i get a version of this too, since i am dark & ds is blond, dd is ginger, both w. blue eyes.... but since i am a woman, people assume that i'm their babysitter!

Originally Posted by MilkTrance

I now really, really want to see photos of that dark-eyed DH and the little baby with red hair and amber eyes. They both sound SO gorgeous!

Well, OK. Since his eyes went amber after he was out of babyhood (we really thought they would be hazel and changey, LOL, but they only change when he's sick and they turn greenish (it's a really good sign that he's sick)), I only have a 3 year old pic of him that's a closeup. Tired at Disneyland. Right around his 1st b'day, here's the three of us. (hubby was in a "we thought it looked good at the time" moustache and goatee phase...shudder...why we thought that looked good I have *no* idea, and the MONTHS it took my mainly hair-less DH grow it, well, he'll never get those months back, LOL)

Hubby's family has always seen the resemblance (in person) between the two of them. But my family has been weird about it and strangers are bizarre.

Originally Posted by LaurenB

I've gotten several comments on Ramona's round head too. But a few older women have taken it a step farther to then ask me if I had a cesarean. "Beautiful round head! She's a cesarean baby, right?" I know they don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but the first couple of times this came up it was all I could do not to burst into tears. Yes, cesarean.

Originally Posted by CAHemmerich

When we first were learning bf (with my first) most times my girl would get overwhelmed at the amount of milk in her mouth and latch off, at which point my let down would continue and milk would spray everywhere. upon seeing this, my grandmother got into the HABIT of saying "you're a good little cow". she actually just said it to me again the other day (oldest is 2yr 7mo) as if cows are the only ones who make milk. Hasn't she heard of a whole class of animals called MAMMALS!!!???

LOL...next time, spray her.

When visiting his mom's relatives in Korea as a child, DH saw some of his aunts and their friends standing around, one of them was nursing a baby. The mama decided he was staring too long, pulled baby off, aimed, and aprayed him with milk. Then dissolved in laughter at his astonishment. She's obviously looking at you too closely. So spray her.

Originally Posted by HappyFox05

You could tell her that in some cultures (Korea's, for instance) "Oma" means "Mama".

Ayep!