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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 29

post #561 of 1466
I forgot one...

"I think breastmilk is okay, but breastfeeding is wrong."

Yeah, um, okay. So, you hold the baby, yeah, just like that, no back a few feet. There, good. Ready? Now, I'm going to aim as best I can, but you know, these milk ducts can spray in all different directions, so if I accidentally squirt you in the eye, please don't be offended. I'll do my best to aim right for the baby, now just be sure to hold his mouth open so the milk goes in, okay?
post #562 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjjazzy View Post
it's really not stupid myth. my mom found me with my brother's cat ON MY FACE when i was an infant. a friend of mine's dad found a cat in the same position on him. while i think it is stupid to get rid of a cat just b/c they might do this, i did make sure that my cats understood they were not allowed in the baby's room/crib/car seat/etc. before DS #1 was born.
Any time a infant and a pet is left alone together there could be issues were the myth comes into play is when people think that all cats are out to kill babies : I got the same crap when I got pg with dd.

If I had a dime for every time I was asked "So what are you going to do with the cats?" I would be able to put the kids through collage. :

It is common sense not to leave animals alone with infants/young kids. At least I used to think it was until I started getting the above question.

Like the other pp's when I brought the babies home the cats would take off like a shot. It took several weeks before they got used to them and then one of them made it her duty to sleep under the bassinett when dd was in the living room with me.
post #563 of 1466
I think the myth stems a lot from the fact that the cats like to smell the milk on the baby's breath so they get really close to them. When I drink milk or eat cereal my cat will get right in my face so he can smell the milk. I'm sure the first time I see my 12 lb cat trying to smell my son's breath I'll be a little freaked out.
post #564 of 1466
hmm, if my mil ever asks "Where's my baby" Im going to refer her to her SON.
post #565 of 1466
The kids and I went to visit my mom last week and she was commenting on Eden's behavior, I've posted about the issues we are having. My mother proceeds to tell me that Eden needs a spank spoon, like she used on me as a child. I explained to her that I would never use anything to HIT my child with. Mom felt this would straighten Eden up, b/c it worked on me--That's b/c I was scared of my mother. I told my mom that I didn't want that kind of relationship with my children. She proceeded to tell me that I can't be friends with my kids that I need to be the AUTHORITY figure and show her who's boss. That made me angry and instead of totally blowing up at her I just walked away. I don't want a relationship like her and I had I want a positive, nuturing bond b/w my children, I don't want them to be scared of me. She infuriates me, especially when she speaks to dd the way she use to speak to me. I guess that's why we only visit once a year.

Thanks for letting me vent!!
post #566 of 1466
I just thought of something while reading a few "Baby needs a coat" stories on page 17...

My best friend used to live with her boyfriend (now husband) and his parents. Her MIL is seriously psycho and I'm happy I wasn't around her much. I was visiting her one day when ds#1 was 8/9 months old. It was November and was a little chilly when we left our house so we just had on one extra layer. We stayed later then I was planning so when it was time to leave it was COLD. So I put on ds's sweater and hat, wrap him in his blanket, hold him tight to me and jog 10 ft from their door to my car.

My friend called me later to tell me that right after I left her MIL told her that she wouldn't be surprised if my baby DIED before January because I didn't have him dressed right. : Sure I was a little unprepared but it wasn't like he was in summer clothes and we were walking home. That's just the tip of the iceberg with this women.
post #567 of 1466
Got a sling one.

I had ds#3 in a ring sling and he was sound asleep and a greeter at walmart stopped me on the way in.

Her: "Can I see? ... how old is he?"
Me: "2 weeks." with a big proud mama smile.
Her: "Oh that looks uncomfortable! He's all squished in there!"
Me: "He loves it. He was like that for 9 months. He wouldn't be sleeping if he was uncomfortable."
Her: "Don't you bump him on the cart?"
Me: "No."
She just shook her head and I went about my shopping.

On the way out:
Her: "That can't be comfortable. He still looks all squished."
Me: "He's sleeping. I love it, he loves it." Proud mama smile and I walk away.


I'm glad that I was stopped more for "That is so cool! Where did you get it?/I wish I had one when I had my babies." more then I got bad comments about slings. I educated a lot of people on babywearing during my grocery trips.
post #568 of 1466
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by edensmama View Post
I don't want a relationship like her and I had I want a positive, nuturing bond b/w my children, I don't want them to be scared of me. She infuriates me, especially when she speaks to dd the way she use to speak to me. I guess that's why we only visit once a year.
Have you tried saying this to your mom? Or are you still trying to be polite and not tell her you think her parenting was lousy?
post #569 of 1466
When I read this thread I can't help but think how nice you all are. I would not be nice if people said these things to me. If I were feeling really polite I would say something along the lines of, "Your ignorance is showing. You should try harder to cover it up." Depending on my relationship with the person that is probably way nicer than I would be though.

Congratulations to all of you for your decorum!
post #570 of 1466
edensmama - I know how you feel. My main memory of childhood is being scared of my mother. She still talks about how you have to train children, dogs and horses by teaching them early who is boss. I also don't want that kind of relationship with my DS. I let my DD be raised by her dad's parents because I was 17 and afraid I would be the same kind of mother mine was (best decision I ever made). Fortunately, my mom is a little bit saner than she was, she constantly apologizes for my childhood, but I am NEVER letting her babysit DS. And if she ever says anything mean to him I will never let her see him again.

That said, I do believe you can't be your child's friend. Children need a parent. I think if you are too concerned with whether your child likes you that you may not set appropriate boundaries for them. But this doesn't really come into play until they are pre-teens I think. Of course you'll be your baby's best friend. I'm just talking about when parents are afraid to say no because "they won't like me anymore".
post #571 of 1466
My cat was very interested in breast milk, but he was 6 weeks old when we found him and ds2 was 8 weeks.

My mom was giving the boys a little juice the other day and I found out that she has been giving them diet juice on purpose because her mom gave them diet soda when they were little because it caused less heartburn.

Another one from my mom.
Mom: what do you want them to drink while I am watching them?
Me: milk or water, but they can have a little bit of juice I'd rather they drink more water.
Mom: If you don't want them to drink to much juice I can just give them Kool-aid or Crystal light.
Me: I'd rather them drink juice than Kool-aid it is more natural (she went and bought the juice sweetened with sucralose to avoid them having heartburn)
post #572 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippie Mama in MI View Post
She went too far last week, though. At her house, a bird has nested in an eave near a window, and laid eggs there. My mom was griping about how the mama bird often leaves the nest, and leaves the eggs alone in the cool mornings. Mom was fretting about the baby birds getting cold.

I said, "Mom, I'm sure the mama robin has it under control."

Mom said, "You'd think so. I sure hope she knows what she's doing."

I laughed at her, I couldn't help it. She actually thought she knew how to care for eggs better than a mama robin. My mother, the interventionist.

PS. The baby robins hatched a few days ago and are just fine, of course. They'll never know just how close their mama came to being reported to the birdie CPS...
post #573 of 1466
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)
post #574 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by angela&avery View Post
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)
Whatever makes her feel better.

I can vouch for the small house looking messier. There is no place for the clutter to go and it clutters so much faster BECAUSE it's small.
post #575 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by ernalala View Post
I'Ve been sending DS1 to private pre-school this year for the first year (he's now 4,5) and since I am a SAHM I want him to be able to enjoy what is the Summer holiday too. So I keep him home with me and his little brother for two months and then he'll go again for half days. He only goes to swimming twice a week and sometimes a pick-nick with his school. Other kids go all year long, all Summer long, since both parents are WOH. But for us pre-school is not a necessary daycare but a fun extra for my son, and I'm sure a Summer break (when other kids in the neighbourhood have holidays too) will be nice for DS1 and all of us.
Yesterday I went to pick him up with DS2 from swimming and another SAHM came to pick up her daughter from half day school. I told her about our Summer arrangement. Her reaction was like: ''WHAT on earth will you do with him (them) ALL day/Summer long?'' Uhm, aren't they my children, and what about doing something nice TOGETHER with my own children? (Yes, even if that can be tough some days!)
I found it a pretty stupid question.

yeh, my kids go to public school and my ds is 7... do you know how sick I am of everyone asking me what he is doing this summer?? (...lol i just realized this is life with a babe and I dont have any babes right now... OH well, hope its still ok if i chime in??) I mean, seriously, what are we going to do?? Really?? He doesnt need any activities... me, ds and dd have been going to the beach , the lake, the library and just enjoying each other and connecting with each other.... it has been really great!!! Every time i see a parent from school, its like oh is he doing basketball camp? soccer camp? swimming? daycamp??

uhm, no, we go to the pool and the lake and he swims on his own without floaties in deep water.... because we go all the time.. and spend time together.. and like.. have fun and stuff... LOL
post #576 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovebabies View Post
Whatever makes her feel better.

I can vouch for the small house looking messier. There is no place for the clutter to go and it clutters so much faster BECAUSE it's small.


thank you!!! validation is bliss!!:
post #577 of 1466
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by angela&avery View Post
i have a friend who tells me

#1 my kids are so much EASIER than her one kid bc they have each other to play with... (ok it would have NOTHING to do with how hard I have worked with them for the last 3 years on sibling rivalry and all of the books I have read about sibling rivalry and GD Parenting and how hard I have worked to change my reactions to help lesson the rivalry they had at ages 1 and 3 when I thought I was going to LOSE my MIND.... nothing to do with that...)

#2. my house is always clean bc its small (bull crap, smaller houses have lesser places for things to go ... i still have two kids, and it must have nothing to do with my dedication to having a clean house)

#3.my yard looks nice bc its smaller than hers and not as much upkeep and my floors are clean bc they are tile and bc I see the dirt im motivated to clean them more often!!!! (seriously????... I know this one isnt parenting but i had to vent)
Unless you make a habit of criticizing her about her kids (yeah, right) I'm so sorry your friend has such a horrible view of herself. Wouldn't keep me from avoiding her to keep from saying "get with it and do something", but I feel sorry for her.

She is 100% right about the yard though. We moved from 0.23 acres and that thing was such a PITA to mow like 4 hours *after* clearing away brush, and don't get me started on raking. Next house, we're getting a tiny tiny yard, making 90% of it into a garden and replanting the rest with clover and other low growing ground cover. Basically a strip that's just enough for the kids and/or family pets to run around the house in circles.

Regarding the parenting stuff. Does she seriously think your kids babysit each other?
post #578 of 1466
no i dont criticize but i also dont have a lot of the issues with my LO's as she does with her LO... I want one more and her dh doesnt.. and she says all the time, oh but it would be so nice htey would play like your kids do.. and im like yes, but it takes work!!! Half the time she complains about all she has to do for this one little guy!!! I can imagine her dealing with all the fighting that can go on!!!

and while i can see the yard thing, i dont think having a small yard would really make that much of a difference, iykwim? she is talking about spreading grass seed, which seriously wouldnt be that big of a deal in her yard.... Im a doer though, I just am... Id think nothing of going out and spreading seed for a good hour with my kids.... she has about a billion reasons why she cant do it....

almost all of it is laziness IMO......

can you tell im fed up?? its been a looooong summer and I need some space I guess.. LOL
post #579 of 1466
Okay I have one. My in-laws were babysitting tonight while DH and I went out to dinner. We have had two power outages in the past few days so DH mentioned that they could go somewhere if the power went out, he wasn't thinking. And I sort of looked at him and went, "They can go to the grocery store (it is within walking distance and not affected by the power outages), they don't have a car seat."

To which my father in law replied, "Oh I can just sit in the backseat with him on my lap."

My only response, "No you can't it is against the law."

Seriously people I know your only child is 31, but do you really think it is safe to drive anywhere with a child on your lap? I really do love them, but DS won't be driving anywhere with them anytime soon.
post #580 of 1466
I hate it when people tell me that I'm spoiling my baby by holding her all the time. My mother is especially bad at it, but I really love when random people in the store and on the street tell me that.

I just look down at their baby who's strapped into an expensive stroller with a vibrating heat pad, a million dangling toys, a music box, a sun shade, and a bottle prop and think to myself:

"Ooookay. MY kid has no toys, just me to interact with. YOU on the other hand run out and buy every single expensive thing you can find to keep the child happy and entertained - and MY baby is the one that's spoiled?" :
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