hubby wants to stay at home

[Kanga]

Hi Pappas,
My DH wants to be a stay at home dad. I would love this since I think it's important for DS to be with one of us rather than in day care. Now, DH has a PhD and is working at a university, but HATES it. He's always wanted to be a stay at home daddy, but is worried about making this decision when he's so miserable at work.
ANYWAY, I was wondering if any SAHDs had difficulty in making this decision, how hard was it to re-enter the paid work force after a few years at home. Any other advice I might pass along to my DH...

[Dov]

As a SAHD turned WAHD/SAHD turned Student-Dad/SAHD (meaning with no work, going back to college PT), I say, go for it. I have benefitted greatly from being with my kids from the beginning of their lives.

I don't know how it will be going to work outside the home once I graduate from college at long last. One thing I do know is that I know the value of "being around" and will probably try to seek work that is amenable to that lifestyle or consciousness. In my field (multimedia writing) it's more possible than not.

I would think a College prof. wouldn't have too much trouble going back later.... besides, it gives him some "cover" to step out of a work environment which makes him unhappy without having to burn any bridges, all the better (unless a little workplace anarchy is called for prior to stepping out ).

Could he make a publishable academic/professional paper from his experiences as a SAHD that could help him "ren-enter" years down the road?

It's good for men to get back to kid-level. It made me grow up when suddenly mama wasn't there to field all the situations for me. The only thing I didn't like was being harassed by moms; while some moms were intrigued by the bearded guy toting an infant, many seemed to think I was either invading their turf or I was foolish... afterall, males aren't supposed to be natural experts with kids right? Hah! After a while I got "deaf" to certain stereotyped comments and "helpful" people but I remember it being brutal at first. Anyway, I got and still am getting a lot out of being here. I'm honored to be their dad.

Dov

[Kanga]

Dov,
Thanks for your insight. It looks like this is going to be a reality for at least a few months beginning at the end of June. A professor probably wouldn't have a hard time taking a few years off and then going back, but my hubby is not a professor yet... just a lowly researcher. He is applying for other jobs and plans to quit the university job a few months before the arranged start date of the next. If he really loves it, he can delay the start date further.

We study chemistry, so not too applicable to SAHD experiences... however, our grand plan is to keep working here for a few more years, save up enough to buy a house in Italy and move there and either become bakers or refurbish old rotting sail boats.

[Alexander]

Once a SAHD, I don't think he will really want to become a clock slave again.

I'd find it tough.

a

[Dov]

Originally posted by Kanga
... however, our grand plan is to keep working here for a few more years, save up enough to buy a house in Italy and move there and either become bakers or refurbish old rotting sail boats.

Now THAT sounds like a dream job!

We secretly hold a dream that we build our own off-grid earth-sheltered home (mortgage-free), grow everything possible, experiment with winemaking or sheep herding, spend nights staring at dark skies, write whatever we want, play music, not report to anyone else and not have a single clock but the sundial in the garden.

Becoming a baker or refurbing old rotting sail boats sounds so right-on I hope you do it. (invite us for a summer and teach us how..we'll work for rustica cuisine

Dov

[Gladmom]

we had no difficulty making the decision. My dh is a SAHD, simply because I made 5 times more his salary, and it was important for us that one of us stay home. He is good with the kids and very loving and gentle. The job comes naturally to him.

I think the difference between him & other SAHMs is that he doesn't really have a good network of sahd's. It can get lonely sometimes. Then again, he doesn't make much of an effort to socialize.: