I'm scurred

[~NewMa~]

I'm a first timer here and planning a homebirth.
I've participated as an RN assist at a handful of homebirths and seen multiple scenarios play out, from a bad hemorrhage that we managed to fix and avoid sending to the hospital, to a transfer due to failure to progress (actually, she made it to 10cm but found it too painful to push her baby out!), to a mom delivering twins while her other 3 babes slept- she barely made a peep!

However, as natural as I know this process to be, I can't help but be scared

I"m scared I'll have to go to the hospital for some reason, or my baby will.
I'm scared my water will burst and I won't have any contractions and will need to be induced.
I'm scared I won't be able to cope with the pain and have to be transfered.
I'm scared I'll dehydrate or become exhausted
I'm scared I'll give in to medications if I do have to transfer to the hospital (and I know I'll be super hard on myself afterwards and have lots of guilt--- I have too much pride)
I'm scared I'll need a c section for some reason

I don't think this fear is related to delivering at home. I have very competant midwives who I trust with all my heart. I'm more scared of going to the hospital.

One week I'm thinking this way and the next I'm like "I'm a strong warrior woman, I was made to birth babies and I know it can be done!"

I just had to write to get it off my chest.

Anyone else with me?
I just need reassurance...

[thomlynn]

I feel similar.

I'm ordering some different Bach Flower essences related to fear to help.

[spookymama]

All perfectly normal! You are not alone.


The best way to deal with your fear is to confront your fear. There is only so much that we can control as far as birth is concerned . Well as far as life is concerned, really. The best thing we can do is confront our fears head on, and deal with them so they don't get the better of us.

Take your list for example?

If your water breaks first without contractions there are things you can do while waiting for them if you are comfortable.

As long as you keep up your water/beverage of choice like.. RRT or recharge, you are going to be fine!

If it makes you feel better you can visualize solutions to all these things, or just your birth going as smoothly as possible.

As far as pain goes..

I've been in labor before..and I know that I can handle it. But sometimes I am struck with contractions from no where that really hurt. I question if I can do this. The pain clears, then my clarity comes back.

Regardless of if you accept pain medication or not, there is a possibility that this labor business will hurt no matter which way you go. You will get through it. In these cases, we go forward because we must go forward. We can't go back and make ourselves un-pregnant!

Of course, there is also a possibility that it will NOT hurt you at all, and only feel intense!

I would recommend also trying to have a back up as far as that goes. Hypno birthing, or something along those lines to get you to focus. Change things that don't work. It's good to have a focus to be able to relax. But there also comes a point where the thinking part of the brain needs to completely shut down during labor, and instinct takes over. We simply stop using our brains and deal with labor as we can.

I've got a list of positive affirmations in my book that I plan on pasting around the labor room. So when I have those moments, I can look to the wall after a surge, and repeat that to myself next time.


You are going to do GREAT mama!

Wishing you an easy labor!

[2xshy]

I just decided on a home birth this past week, I'll be 39 weeks monday!
It's my first as well.
I am nervous too, for some of the same reasons and some different ones, but i think it's normal. Seeing others birth is one thing and getting ready to do it yourself is another. we spend almost 40 weeks gearing up for "the big day", how could that not make us somewhat nervous about it.
I think that voicing your fears now is the best thing you can do so when labor does come you don't have unresolved fears going into it..
Thats what i'm trying to do.

[onlyAngil]

Originally Posted by ~NewMa~

I'm a first timer here and planning a homebirth.

...

I'm scared I'll dehydrate or become exhausted

...

I just had to write to get it off my chest.

Anyone else with me?
I just need reassurance...

I am with you

but why would you be dehydrated? Wont you be eating and drinking as you like? This was one of my happiest selling points

[goldfawn]

I understand your fears. This is my second homebirth and there were 3 things that interfered with me having my dream hb last time.
1. fear... I just hadn't gotten enough info. This time around I have done prenatal yoga, taken a birthing from within class and read a zillion books. i totally recommend "spiritual midwifery", "the birth book" by sears & sears, and of course "birthing from within"...
2. a non-supportive partner... or anyone at the birth that isn't activiely participating in a positive way. When labor hits you becaome even more sensitive to energy/vibes and don't be affraid to tell people they have to leave. or have a signal with your partner/midwife so they know when people are bumming you out.
3. a birthing pool. I did not have one my first birth and totally regretted it! rent one if you can! they are wonderful! and can make a world of difference.

relax relax relax. everything! I am already having some contractions and am on bed rest for a bit and I can definately say that if you just completely relax (it can be hard to do so practice ahead of time) every muscle in your body it feels so much better. when you tense up it hurts.
good luck, start reading.
it's true, your body is made to do this, our society has just been feeding us fear (in movies etc) of birth our whole lives.you can do it!

[~NewMa~]

Thank you guys soooo much.
I just needed that reassurance and the chance to voice to some ladies who have and have not been through this before.
I've got 2 weeks till my due date!
I've done ALOT of reading. Even before my pregnancy I was reading "Birthing from Within" and "Active Labor" to help myself learn techniques that may help other moms I've assisted. "Spiritual Midwifery" was one of my first and favorites and I've read it again during my pregnancy. It sits on my nightstand along with a hypnobirthing book that has been a great help as far as relaxation suggestions (since I wasn't able to sign in to a class soon enough).
I've also been reading "Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth" which has been empowering.
Getting together a list of birth affirmations to focus on sounds like a wonderful idea!!!
I should gather some pictures of happy natural birth mamas too.
I did invest in a brith pool which I'm really excited about but my fear of my water breaking goes along with this because I don't think you're supposed to submerge yourself after your water breaks, so I'm scared of my water breaking for that reason too, cause I won't be able to use it! I know, I have the shower still in that event, but not the same.
I've been talking to hubby about my fears trying to get them off my chest too. He's been such a great support for me. And my mother is a natural birther. She even birthed my brother naturally after having to have a pitocin induction. I give her alot of credit and keep reminding myself, if she can do it, I can do it!!!
One of the reasons I'm afraid of dehydrating is because I'm a puker. I'm scared I won't be able to hold anything down! But I made juicy cubes in the ice tray and have little snacks I know help me feel better when I'm sick on hand.
I just needed to vent I guess.
You've all helped me feel alot better!!!
Thank you so much!!!
Please, if anyone has any other experiences to share or ideas that they think would help, pass them my way!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nature Girl]

Originally Posted by ~NewMa~

I did invest in a brith pool which I'm really excited about but my fear of my water breaking goes along with this because I don't think you're supposed to submerge yourself after your water breaks, so I'm scared of my water breaking for that reason too, cause I won't be able to use it! I know, I have the shower still in that event, but not the same.

I'm pretty sure it's okay to go into the birth pool after your water breaks - that's where you want to have the baby right? Talk to your midwife about this and I'm sure she'll explain everything.