Originally Posted by rmzbm
What's WRONG with feeling badly upon finding out you are doing something substandard?
Formula IS inferior. It IS the fourth best feeding choice. People NEED to know this!
If she "doesn't have a choice" she shouldn't feel badly.
There's nothing wrong with feeling badly about finding out something you did wasn't the best choice....but I believe there is
something wrong with someone else
deliberately using language to make you feel even worse about the decision than you might feel if just presented with the information in a more neutral way.
Case in point:
I circumcized my son. It's a decision I'll regret until the day I die. I was seriously uninformed, and was given bad information by healthcare providers, AND didn't do any research (like I researched other parenting/baby topics). When I found MDC when he was baout a year old and found the case against circumcision forum, I cried for days. I felt horrible, all on my own. Even though at that time I did what I thought was the right thing. And I can guarantee you if someone had given me any "helpful", "truthful" commentary designed to make me feel badly about what I had done, that person would NOT be high on my list of people I'd want to get advice from at any future time.
I certainly didn't want anyone telling me, "It's OK, you didn't know." or, "It's no big deal." because that's not recognizing the seriousness of the issue.
Perhaps something like, "I'm so sorry you found out too late." or, "I'm sorry your physician gave you horrible advice." or, "I wish I would have known you before it happened so we could have talked." would be comforting, while still recognizing what happened.
But something like, "You mutilated him" (which is true) or, "you took a piece of his body from him without his consent" (also true), or, "you made him undergo unnecessary pain and now he'll never know what a fully functioning penis will feel like" (also true) would have made me think that person had NO idea who I was or how I felt, and was purposely saying things to make me feel badly about something I couldn't undo. And that just seems meanspirited, IMO.
Does that make my point a little more clear on intent and choice of words?