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Spots to go nurse when out in public. - Page 6

post #101 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
Are you kidding me? No it is not common sense. It is common sense to treat NIP as normal and nothing to be "discreet" about or to hide.
Uh- excuse me, but before you get excited and in a tizzy, read carefully.
You obviously didn't understand what I meant. I said that FINDING a place was common sense. IF she wants to be discreet, then it's easy enough to do it.
I never said that it was common sense to be discreet.
I NIP however and wherever I want. I don't use covers and I don't hide.
I was answering her ORIGINAL question.
Calm down.
post #102 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
I think she meant how to go about it if it's what mom wants to do...

I was taken aback for a moment too.

-Angela
That's exactly what I meant.
post #103 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamsMama View Post
Uh- excuse me, but before you get excited and in a tizzy, read carefully.
You obviously didn't understand what I meant. I said that FINDING a place was common sense. IF she wants to be discreet, then it's easy enough to do it.
I never said that it was common sense to be discreet.
I NIP however and wherever I want. I don't use covers and I don't hide.
I was answering her ORIGINAL question.
Calm down.
I apologize, but it can read both ways. I'm not excited or in a tizzy, fwiw.
post #104 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
I apologize, but it can read both ways. I'm not excited or in a tizzy, fwiw.
Fair enough.
post #105 of 121
Can we get over the fact that her DH is totally wrong, and just share places to NIP discretely? I think it is a worthy question, and am curious about your ideas and experiences so I can copy!
post #106 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMommy2 View Post
Can we get over the fact that her DH is totally wrong, and just share places to NIP discretely? I think it is a worthy question, and am curious about your ideas and experiences so I can copy!
Nope

I don't believe in NIP discretely... it's against my religion...

-Angela
post #107 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neth Naneth View Post
I agree with teh pp you are doing an awesome job, don't start. My advice is this when you have a baby is pops off a lot try nursing with your hand relaxed at the top of your shirt so the mili-second your DC pops off you can pull your top over your boob. That is what I do. Good luck.
I do this exact thing and I nurse in front of EVERYONE. It is a discreet technique. Us BFing moms should not perpetuate the myth that women need to go hide to bf. Unless, of course, our babys won't nurse unless we do. Mine gets to distractable unless he's really hungry.

I do, however, nurse in my car a lot, not to hide, but because I have a place to sit and can listen to the radio.
post #108 of 121
The only "discreet" places i have ever found are dressing rooms and my own car.

I think that you might have a problem getting the ladies on this board to really answer your question because most of us find the idea of hiding that we are nursing deplorable. We are all a bunch of rebels anyways. We will thumb our noses at anyone over it....family included.

Maybe just give your DH time to get used to it, and if you have to, talk directly to the complainers as your DH may be tired of being the constant go-between.
post #109 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Nope

I don't believe in NIP discretely... it's against my religion...

-Angela
Well...who ever thought we'd have religion in common? Against mine too...
post #110 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmzbm View Post
Well...who ever thought we'd have religion in common? Against mine too...


:

-Angela
post #111 of 121
I have a couple thoughts on this.

1) It really sounds like you need to talk to both your DH and your family/friends to find out what the real issue is. Why are they uncomfortable? Would it be ok if you covered up, or do they want you out of the room?

2) If you are around people that are uncomfortable, just announce that you are going to nurse. If they are uncomfortable, THEY should be the ones who leave - they can go to another room, take a quick walk around the restaurant, visit the bathroom. And you can sit right where you are and nurse. Tell them ahead of time that that is the plan - "From now on I'm just going to give you a little warning before I nurse, kay? And if you want, you can use that time to escape." or however you want to say it.

3) If it's the specific people you want not to see you in public, vs. just the general public, just leave their general vicinity if you want to leave. So say you are in Barnes and Noble for example - just head to another area of chairs. Or go to an empty booth nearby if you are in a restaurant.

4) As far as other discrete ideas, there aren't a lot of other options. Learn to nurse in your mei tai and wear a sweater OVER the mei tai. That almost completely covers you up. (ETA I mean a button-up sweater, unbuttoned but using the side to shield you. Not a pull-over sweater.) Nurse in your car. That's all I can offer.

Good luck and I hope you figure this out soon - it sounds like it's stressing you out!
post #112 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Kate View Post
I'm gonna be brutally honest--my tact meter is broken today. Your husband is the problem, not you or your friends or family. Your husband should grow a pair and stand up for his wife and child. Rather than telling you that you need to be sensitive to the feelings of others, he should start being a little more sensitive to yours. Real men don't send their wives to hide in the bathroom to feed their babies. And you can tell him I said that, too. :P
amen. and btw, i have nursed in public a TON and used the nursing tank ( www.bravadodesigns.com) under a front opening shirt ( hoodie, jacket, sweater) combo...and the ONLY bit of skin that shows at all is when babe was latching on. if that is "unacceptable", you could turn your back til babe has latched and then turn back around.

i seriously don't think this is your problem. if it were me, i'd be telling dh where to go if it EVER got to that. but it never would. thank god...

i hope you come to a decision that suits you, but in my opinion, it's not you that has to change what you are doing.

peekaboom
post #113 of 121
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
I have a couple thoughts on this.

1) It really sounds like you need to talk to both your DH and your family/friends to find out what the real issue is. Why are they uncomfortable? Would it be ok if you covered up, or do they want you out of the room?
Apparently I'm supposed to leave the room or if we're in public, go to a bathroom or a fitting room. : Somehow I'm less than discrete to them and so even though I do my best to cover my breast while she's nursing, sometimes it just isn't possible to to her moving my shirt around so the alternitive is that I leave.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
2) If you are around people that are uncomfortable, just announce that you are going to nurse. If they are uncomfortable, THEY should be the ones who leave - they can go to another room, take a quick walk around the restaurant, visit the bathroom. And you can sit right where you are and nurse. Tell them ahead of time that that is the plan - "From now on I'm just going to give you a little warning before I nurse, kay? And if you want, you can use that time to escape." or however you want to say it.
The problem is I found its his WHOLE FAMILY that is offended. Instead of coming to me, they were going to his mother, his mother was going to talk to me, and DH intercepted, saying he would take care of it.

We had a HUGE fight over it last night and he popped off with "Well, just use a bottle!" He doesn't seem to realize that by doing that, it's a whole lot more work and nipple confusion can result. We've dodged the bullet so far but that doesn't mean it can't happen to us. I'm so livid at him right now that I could just scream.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
3) If it's the specific people you want not to see you in public, vs. just the general public, just leave their general vicinity if you want to leave. So say you are in Barnes and Noble for example - just head to another area of chairs. Or go to an empty booth nearby if you are in a restaurant.
I don't want to leave but I'm being made to. I don't have a lot of choices and none of them are really attractive.

A.) I can NIP as I have been doing and say bedamned to their feelings causing large amts of stress in the family
B.) I can just start leaving the room and going to bathrooms, etc. for her to eat, risking a screaming baby.
C.) I can try a cover but she's not normally thrilled with something covering her head or face. (I can't even get her to wear a hat when its cold.)
D.) I can just stop going out save for the absolute most needed trips until she weans.

I'm in a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
4) As far as other discrete ideas, there aren't a lot of other options. Learn to nurse in your mei tai and wear a sweater OVER the mei tai. That almost completely covers you up. (ETA I mean a button-up sweater, unbuttoned but using the side to shield you. Not a pull-over sweater.) Nurse in your car. That's all I can offer.

Good luck and I hope you figure this out soon - it sounds like it's stressing you out!
I'm trying to learn to nurse in the mei tai but it's not as easy as I thought it would be. We don't have a car or I'd do that.



What's worse is I went to get some support from my own blood family and they won't even take my side. I never thought my feeding choice would leave me feeling this alone.
post #114 of 121
i head for the toilet or changing rooms or just nurse in the car dd is at the age of being super curious and so easily distracted too and latches off at the drop of a pin, so i find i need to nurse in a quiet place, without too many people around...
post #115 of 121
Kurumi~ Have a party and invite everyone whose uncomfortable with BFing including all your BFing friends and all the babies! It'll be a nurse in party! Maybe they'll see more boobs then they've seen in years and get over it all ready.

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through this with such close minded ignorant, prudish people. I wouldn't do a damn thing to make them all feel more comfortable.
post #116 of 121
I have to say, I'm a very petty person at times, and if something like this happened, I'd be inclined to say and just stay at home, not let them see the baby, and only go out in public by myself.

But like I said, I'm pretty petty.
post #117 of 121
Just keep nursing. Any issues with it are NOT your problem. If it's causing "stress" that is the problem of the stressed party.

-Angela
post #118 of 121
Quote:
A.) I can NIP as I have been doing and say bedamned to their feelings causing large amts of stress in the family
They'll get over it eventually.

I'd plan some kind of speech about "Do you know how many women quit nursing because they feel like they can't leave the house because they're afraid people might see them nursing? Yeah! It's true! And there are even laws specifically in place to protect women's rights to nurse in public! What sort of weirdo gets offended at the sight of a baby eating? I mean, it's a baby eating!"...and launch it as soon as you start nursing around them.
post #119 of 121
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by k9sarchik View Post
Kurumi~ Have a party and invite everyone whose uncomfortable with BFing including all your BFing friends and all the babies! It'll be a nurse in party! Maybe they'll see more boobs then they've seen in years and get over it all ready.

Wow, I'm sorry you are going through this with such close minded ignorant, prudish people. I wouldn't do a damn thing to make them all feel more comfortable.
It sounds like a great idea but I'm the first (and probably only) person to have a baby in my circle of friends, let alone bf.

My mother bought me 2 nursing covers in an attempt to help me compromise w/my DH. It's so very stressful. This on top of DD having her first cold. It makes me want to scream.
post #120 of 121
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakay View Post
They'll get over it eventually.

I'd plan some kind of speech about "Do you know how many women quit nursing because they feel like they can't leave the house because they're afraid people might see them nursing? Yeah! It's true! And there are even laws specifically in place to protect women's rights to nurse in public! What sort of weirdo gets offended at the sight of a baby eating? I mean, it's a baby eating!"...and launch it as soon as you start nursing around them.
It's awful tempting, esp. at something like his big sis' annual barbecue get together where it'd be impossible not to be heard. (I can project like no tomorrow so my voice will CARRY)
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