Congratulations, Tree love--
Miss girl-- having never had a natural delivery, I feel alot of sadness, but then again, I don't really know what I missed. I can say though, my two planned c-births were beautiful. The fact that it wasn't an emergency gave me so much more power over the whole situation, I was able to make my needs clear before I was in the throws of labor or any kind of emergency. Both times I worked with the doctors concerning what my emotional needs were, what my prior disapointments were, and what I would and would not consent to. Both times I had to deliver at different hospitals, being unhappy with changing policies regarding infant/mother contact after c-birth. It was alot of hassle, I even had to go to a different doctor for the last baby, but it was well worth it.
One thing that made a difference was delivering at a hospital that had it a regular policy for the baby to remain with me, if he was healthy, in the or while I was stiched up. My third son had to go to the NICU, but prior to his leaving they made sure I had cuddled him, and they appologized for taking him. With my fourth, I held him the whole time I was in the or, and was wheeled out with him in my arms. That was so wonderful, I felt like a mama, not a surgical patient.
I would advise against hospitals that say "our policy is that the baby go to the nursery for all new born procedures while mom is in the or." They try to justify it as a safety concern, but if you dig deeper, you realize that it is a staffing and convenience issue-- not wanting to have someone in the or just for your birth to take care of the baby. Like I asked the hospital in my town, why is it considered safe 30 minutes away for the baby to be in the hospital? Sometimes they say "observation is better." Well, I was the one who first observed that my third son was not breathing lustily enough, when he was in the or with me. And they tend to have a whole football team in there anyway, no reason why the baby can't be looked after.
Sorry if I am rambling, its just that having my baby stay with me made all the difference, and some hospitals are resistant to that.
I will always the memory of my baby in my arms, right after birth. And I was not in any pain, not exhausted, just totally focused on his little face.
Gossamer, I am so sorry about what has happened to you. I hope that someday you get your hearts desire. And want to encourage you that a c-birth can be a beautiful, loving experience, if that does prove to be your only option.