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How committed are you to CLW vs. just 'extra extended' nursing?

post #1 of 91
Thread Starter 
Sometimes I wonder if I should post in here or in BBI instead... but the BBI mamas all seem to have younger kids so I have more in common with the mamas here. Anyway I was thinking about that and wondering if mamas here are 100% committed to CLW? Or, do you have an end date where you would initiate weaning if your child does not?

For me I can't imagine nursing DD when she is 6. We're approaching 4.5 now with no end in sight, she has nursed through 8 months of my pregnancy so far and soon there is going to be some serious milk supply going on around here. I was thinking I would initiate weaning in another year if she doesn't do it on her own.

Do other people have an age limit in your minds? Do other people have kids that just keep nursing and nursing and nursing? Kids who don't seem to have any interest in the *weaning* part of CLW?
post #2 of 91
My nursling is only 2 but she may nurse as long as she wishes, no limits.
post #3 of 91
I don't have an age limit in mind. I don't have an age where I feel uncomfortable nursing *my* child because it happens so slowly that before you know it your newborn is 5 and it's just perfectly normal yk? I can't imagine nursing dd when she's 4, though ds was nursing at 4, but that's because mostly I can't imagine her actually being 4.

The thing is, your dd will cut down eventually. She'll wean eventually. She WILL because kids do. I guess it's up to you to decide how much of that you want to leave up to her. I'm speaking a ssomeone who is never bothered by nursing, but I guess if I started having strong feelings of aversion I'd have to weigh it all up very carefully. As it is now though, I'm 100% commited to CLW.
post #4 of 91
I am fine up to 3 but not sure if I feel comfy after 3. we'll see! when I was a new new mommy with my first infant, I thought nursing a 2 yr old was gross! (My how we grow LOL)

It depends on if the nursing relationship is still an enjoyable for BOTH of us.

Gone are the days of me martyring myself for the sake of being perfect.

post #5 of 91
I'm not really sure, I'm just taking it a day at a time. I never thought I would nurse past 6-9 months and here I am nursing a 3.5 year old, 20 month old, and another on the way. I'm sure somebody will wean at some point, so right now I'm content to just hand out and see if that happens.
post #6 of 91
I don't honestly know. There was a time I thought that after three and towards 4 would feel weird... usually just feels normal though.

I'm flexible. We'll see.

As long as she needs it as much as she does right now, I can't see MLW with a clear conscience.

-Angela
post #7 of 91
That's an interesting question and one I haven't had to contemplate. My DD weaned when I was 3 months pg with DS. She was only 15 months old and I cried and cried. She, however, was fine with it. So I suppose in a way that was CLW. I hope my DS nurses for a good long time and although I am committed to CLW, I don't know how I'd feel nursing a five year old. We'll see.
post #8 of 91
Its not so much an age limit for me but pregnancy does bring on strong feelings of needing to wean. Both times I've gently encouraged my kids to wean. I do this with their needs and wants in mind and its an extremely gentle process. I know its not CLW but its certainly not forced weaning either.

I didn't consider it because we didn't get that far with either kid (just over 2.5 with each) but I'm not sure if I'd be comfortable nursing a school aged child. I supposed I'd have to get there and try it. I'm not having any more kids so there won't be any pregnancy induced weaning this time! I just might make that journey and have a different experience than I imagine.
post #9 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post

As long as she needs it as much as she does right now, I can't see MLW with a clear conscience.

-Angela
Yep, this is me too. That's why I'm kind of fretting even though it's a year away. The thing is that nursing her at age 6 is beyond my comfort zone. It's too culturally weird for me and it's easy to say 'don't let 'em get to you' but in reality it's a real issue and the limitation for me. Her dad has been quite supportive of us still nursing, although I think he would be much happier if she were weaned, and he wants her for overnights at his place which she is unwilling to do I think in large part because here she nurses and cosleeps with me. He will cosleep with her but it isn't enough to make her willing to be over there for nights. Plus other social pressure and blahblahblah but really nursing past 6 is just not something that is going to work for us.

Which is hard because yeah, she does need it. And I know that you never know what time will bring, it's a year and a half away, but I would initiate a slow weaning process at 5.5 to ensure she is done by 6. And... I kind of can't imagine doing that, I fear she will be traumatized as nursing does remain extremely important to her.

Like, what's the deal with these kiddos who just nurse and nurse and seem to have no inclination toward stopping? At least, not at an age I would think would be the age to stop? Yk? I wonder how many of us have kids like these, and just what is it about? Mine has high attachment needs, she is an easy kid for sure but her whole life has really depended on her attachment relationships to feel secure. For her I think continued nursing is part of that. But like, dude... there is a line! I had mentioned to her that we will wean when she is 5.5, to plant the idea in her head before the baby comes so she doesn't see the two things as connected. But her teacher called me and told me to stop talking about it! As apparently it's giving her anxiety and she was at school muttering about it. Like, what kid has anxiety about weaning at 5.5??? I told DD that many kids get weaned at 2 and she was shocked.
post #10 of 91
I have the same age in my head as a cut off age. I think that if my dd has progressed on her own to not nursing daily by the age of 6 I'll be ok, but if she is still nursing 4+ times a day (as she is now) at that time, I will initiate weaning.
Right now I'm having some strange feelings about her nursing but going with the possibility that it is caused by me being 6 weeks pp and tandeming so I'm just trying to ignore them in hopes that they will go away.

Anyhow. I know how you feel.
post #11 of 91
I'm not sure. DD1 weaned herself right before she turned 4y, I was still very comfortable with it. She is 5 now, and when I look at her and can't imagine nursing her today, but if she needed it I'm sure I would, and would be fine with it.
post #12 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pattyla View Post
I have the same age in my head as a cut off age. I think that if my dd has progressed on her own to not nursing daily by the age of 6 I'll be ok, but if she is still nursing 4+ times a day (as she is now) at that time, I will initiate weaning.
Right now I'm having some strange feelings about her nursing but going with the possibility that it is caused by me being 6 weeks pp and tandeming so I'm just trying to ignore them in hopes that they will go away.

Anyhow. I know how you feel.
What strange feelings are you having? I'm soon to be postpartum so I'm extra interested! I've found I've been getting the creepy crawlies a bit from nursing DD lately, which is new... or at least which i haven't experienced in awhile. I'm 8 mos pg.
post #13 of 91
I am fairly committed to CLW but I am not totally zealous about it. I nursed my toddler through my twin pregnancy and then went on to triandem nurse for 18 months. I finally weaned my toddler when he turned 4 because honestly I had had enough of nursing 3 kids. It was gentle and gradual and he knew it was coming on his 4th birthday. It went pretty well. I am still nursing my 2 year old twins and I'm pregnant again, so we'll see. I don't really want to nurse 3 kids again but I'm open to it. We'll see. I don't worship CLW and I am not going to put it above everthing else in life, but I do think it's important to do, if possible.
post #14 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama View Post
What strange feelings are you having? I'm soon to be postpartum so I'm extra interested! I've found I've been getting the creepy crawlies a bit from nursing DD lately, which is new... or at least which i haven't experienced in awhile. I'm 8 mos pg.
I never got the creepy crawlies. I just get really irritated with DD's nursing. I look at her and she seems to huge and like she should be way past this nursing stage by now. I never felt this way before DD#2 came along so I assume this is a pp/tandem nursing thing.
Her latch also sucks. I didn't realize it while I was pg cause it just hurt all the time to nurse her and I figured it was a pg thing. Now that I have a new nursling with a perfect latch I know that my ODD's latch isn't great but I haven't got a clue how to teach her how to latch better. She still gets lots of milk, she just uses more teeth than I would like.
post #15 of 91
I go back and forth between wanting to CLW and...not. DD will be 3 in June and normally nurses 3+ times a day, and for hours at night once she comes in with us. I love the idea of CLW and hope to be able to do it, however thoughts of "maybe I should gradually wean her" have snuck up lately.

Most of the time I am fine with it, but there are moments I get frustrated....especially at night. I'm also not sure if I totally believe that CLW is entirely natural because most animal mamas push their babies away at some point.

I also have just recently gotten embarrassed about DD so loudly proclaiming her need to nurse while in public places. I don’t think I will pursue MLW anytime soon, it just feels so wrong and would make me really sad. Time will tell.
post #16 of 91
*pokes head in*

Hi... I have a question...

If your milk supposedly changes per baby's needs, how on earth does your body know how to tandem nurse? If you nurse a 4 year old AND you have a newborn, does the newborn's needs "win", and your 4 year old gets "newborn milk"?

Or does your body keep producing toddler/child milk?

Just wondering whether that's a factor.
post #17 of 91
I don't know, MilkTrance, but I sure hope I get a chance to ask my boy if/how milk changes during a pregnancy! I figure the body is really smart, smarter than our thinking brains could ever be, and can figure it all out on its own.


OP, I don't have an age where I'd like him to wean in mind, but I've always had an age where I couldn't see weaning *before*. And that's 4. I was nursed until I was 4, at which point my brother self-weaned and I was made to stop b/c my mom had to go back to work (single mom at that point too). I was discussing on another thread how as soon as I was weaned, I started getting sick. scarlet fever and things like that. I personally am so thankful that my mom nursed me that long, b/c I'm not totally sure I would have made it otherwise. When I had DS, my mom's lifelong (literally, she died 8 years ago) friends all contacted me to make sure I was going to nurse that baby as long as I myself was nursed. So obviously FOUR has been pretty big in my head!

In the last 6 months DS's needs have decreased fairly dramatically, but when he needs it he NEEDS it. And no matter how obnoxious the way he asks or demands is or if he pokes me to tell me what he wants...when he nurses and gets that sweet baby-face again, I know that even if it's beyond that year I have in my head, I'm not sure I could deny him.

I can't quite picture nursing beyond 4, but I can't quite picture how to wean, either!
post #18 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkTrance View Post
*pokes head in*

Hi... I have a question...

If your milk supposedly changes per baby's needs, how on earth does your body know how to tandem nurse? If you nurse a 4 year old AND you have a newborn, does the newborn's needs "win", and your 4 year old gets "newborn milk"?

Or does your body keep producing toddler/child milk?

Just wondering whether that's a factor.
I'm quite sure the newborn's needs win, because at least for me my milk dried up in early pregnancy, and for the first half of my pregnancy there was almost nothing. Second half there has been what my DD calls a 'yummy and weird' milk and the drops I have expressed (hardly any) have been clear so I think that is colostrum. I've had breast pain, and fully expect the whole engorgement thing early post partum. I think the body sort of 'resets' with the pregnancy hormones, and the older chid gets newborn milk.
post #19 of 91
I'm pretty committed to CLW in my mind. Up to age four I feel totally comfortable. I've seen other four year olds nurse and I didn't find it weird or anything, and in any case, it will be my dd so I assume it won't be weird between us! How could it be when we've been doing it all along? After age four... it depends. I'd like to think I'd still leave it up to her, but if I do start getting impatient or less anxious about bfing, I'll probably just not offer/not refuse. It depends on how attached she is to it at that point.
post #20 of 91
Yep, the body resets to meet the needs of the newborn - the toddler gets bonus colostrum round 2! (though it can come at the price of newborn like dipes at first)

CLW worked beautifully for my DD - she just eventually went longer between asking to nurse, first skipping days, then weeks, then one day at age 3.5 I realized she hadn't asked in a month. And never did again. Still remembers nursing with fond memories.

I'm planning to CLW with my 2nd. Since he'll be 4 in 2 weeks, and is still nursing 2-3 times a day every day it looks like his weaning may take longer, but so far I'm ok with that.
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