Please write to NBC re "The Baby Borrowers" show - Page 4

[SheepNumber97245]

I watched this show... or tried i should say. It was just ridiculous. Of course i feel sorry for the poor children that have no idea why their parents have suddenly left them with strangers.

But also, In no way does this "help" the teens. I knew nothing about children before i got pregnant, and actually didn't even like them. My son was the first baby i held. I would say half of parenting is instinctual and half is common sense and logic. If someone would have handed me a baby before i had my son i wouldn't have a clue what to do with it. It's a lot different when it's your own child. The only thing this does is scare them into thinking parenting is awful. Which i guess is what it was supposed to do, but what are the long term effects of that??? You know! Now they expect parenting to be hard, horrible, WORK, no matter what age they decide to have children. There's just nothing realistic about it.

[not now]

It's also played on the WE channel.

[APmomto3boys]

Originally Posted by SheepNumber97245

I watched this show... or tried i should say. It was just ridiculous. Of course i feel sorry for the poor children that have no idea why their parents have suddenly left them with strangers.

But also, In no way does this "help" the teens. I knew nothing about children before i got pregnant, and actually didn't even like them. My son was the first baby i held. I would say half of parenting is instinctual and half is common sense and logic. If someone would have handed me a baby before i had my son i wouldn't have a clue what to do with it. It's a lot different when it's your own child. The only thing this does is scare them into thinking parenting is awful. Which i guess is what it was supposed to do, but what are the long term effects of that??? You know! Now they expect parenting to be hard, horrible, WORK, no matter what age they decide to have children. There's just nothing realistic about it.

I agree with you and think some teens will make better parents then some 30 year old, career and money obsessed adults.

[APmomto3boys]

http://www.aacap.org/cs/2008_press_relea....ba by_borrowers

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Calls NBC to Pull Baby Borrowers

Washington, D.C., July 2, 2008 - The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) calls NBC to pull its television show, "The Baby Borrowers." The reality show separates babies and toddlers from their parents and places them with strangers for three days.

Separating babies and toddlers from their parents for extended periods of time can lead children to feel distress and anxiety. After prolonged separation, a child can feel distrust for his or her primary caregiver. Separation can damage a healthy attachment and a child's sense of safety.

"A child's sense of security should not be gambled with," said AACAP President Robert Hendren, D.O.

In addition, the AACAP is concerned that the television show communicates to millions of viewers that "baby borrowing" is acceptable parenting practice and will prompt imitation.

"Should this practice be emulated without the benefit of the observing camera, it is important to note that teenagers may be more likely than adult strangers to abuse or neglect infants and toddlers," said Anne Glowinski, M.D., a child and adolescent psychiatrist and member of AACAP's Infancy and Preschool Committee.

NBC has promoted "Baby Borrowers" as a social experiment that educates teenagers about the responsibilities of parenting. "A more constructive approach would have had the teenagers shadow a family of a toddler or baby, keeping parents close," said President Hendren.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry is a medical association representing 8,000 child and adolescent psychiatrists who promote mentally healthy children, adolescents, and families.

To interview a child and adolescent psychiatrist about childhood development, contact Adam Lowe at [e-mail] or 202.966.7300 x 154.

[sarahwpen]

Originally Posted by Mizelenius

I'm guessing if parents allow their children to scream for long periods of time on the show, they do it at home. It's not like off-camera, the parents suddenly become AP.

I wonder if people watching will get to see how awful it is to let a baby cry, and think twice before doing it. Sometimes seeing what someone else does makes one look more honestly at one's own actions.

Or it could solidify the mistaken opinion that it is normal for babies to scream inconsolably and that parenting is really the horrific nightmare that most of society would like us to believe it is! And that anyone who desires to be a parent is insane! You can't underestimate the fact that this idiotic network is trying to pass these teenager's experience here as a form of parenting! They are trying to present the reactions of these children as normal everyday behavior in the life of a child. Any ap parent knows that a child doesn't react that way to their own parents when they are properly cared for. The reactions shown on this show are not the reaction of a well cared for child, they are the reactions of a child who is undergoing a major emotional upheaval, coupled with inadequate care provisions.

No matter how much we know better, there are many many people out there who don't know how to discriminate "parenting" from simply providing minimal basic life necessities for a child. Those who don't know any better are the ones who are vulnerable to bad information which is what this show is propagating.

And who exactly suddenly decided that teenagers NEED to be so DISCOURAGED from having kids?! Shouldn't parenthood be a beautiful experience that is anticipated and hoped for instead of dreaded and feared? Of course we should train them to be responsible, but do that honestly, not by trying to scare them into thinking that parenthood is a nightmare. Teenagers are not dumb, and when they find out that they were lied to they won't want to listen again. Isn't everyone appreciative of honesty?

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by sarahwpen

And who exactly suddenly decided that teenagers NEED to be so DISCOURAGED from having kids?! Shouldn't parenthood be a beautiful experience that is anticipated and hoped for instead of dreaded and feared? Of course we should train them to be responsible, but do that honestly, not by trying to scare them into thinking that parenthood is a nightmare. Teenagers are not dumb, and when they find out that they were lied to they won't want to listen again. Isn't everyone appreciative of honesty?

I don't know if it is true, but recently there was a news story in which some teens made a pact to get pregnant. Pact I ABSOLUTELY am discouraging my DD to have a child as a teen . . .because frankly, while parenthood is wonderful, it can be incredibly hard. For me, it is harder than I could ever, ever have imagined. A parent's own desires and even many needs have to be put on hold-- indefinitely. I don't think the average teenager realizes this. (I know there are some incredible teen moms out there-- I'm saying the average person!) I tell my DD (who is only 6, but talks about wanting a baby early in life) to wait to have a baby, wait until she has done what she wants to do. I tell her flat out that it will be VERY hard to do things like go become a vet (which is what she wants) if she has a baby before she finishes school

Bottom line . . .parenting is hard for most people. For people who seriously lack resources, it CAN be a nightmare. I don't criticize the show for trying to get that message across, but the method is completely objectionable.

[janhunt]

AACAP link

How wonderful that AACAP has called NBC! Here's an updated link to the press release: http://doiop.com/AACAP_Baby_Borrowers

I just wrote to thank them for this stand. I hope they're successful!

Jan Hunt
Natural Child Project
www.naturalchild.org


[QUOTE=APmomto3boys;11634603]http://www.aacap.org/cs/2008_press_relea....ba by_borrowers

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Calls NBC to Pull Baby Borrowers

[Mizelenius]

Originally Posted by janhunt

How wonderful that AACAP has called NBC! Here's an updated link to the press release: http://doiop.com/AACAP_Baby_Borrowers

I just wrote to thank them for this stand. I hope they're successful!

Jan Hunt
Natural Child Project
www.naturalchild.org

Great idea! I'll do the same!

[janhunt]

New developments

There are two new developments:

First, both AACAP and Zero to Three have asked NBC to cancel the show:

NBC urged to cancel 'Baby Borrowers' due to health, safety concerns:
http://doiop.com/BB_cancellation_request

Second, a friend who lives in the city where the show has been filmed just told me there is a block party to show off the house and they're selling everything from inside. They're ether moving the show or (let's hope) canceling it.

Fingers crossed..

[jennlyn]

I thought the premise of this show sounded horrible, but I did watch it. One thing that struck me was that while many people are getting upset over the show, has anyone considered that perhaps this isn't the first time any of these children have been cared for by someone other than their parents? If these parents did this with no compensation ( which I find a bit hard to believe) then they must have had reasons to think their child would adjust to other caregivers. There are parents who do go away for the weekend and leave their children with others. Working parents may also leave their child in the care of others. Daycare centers often have a number of workers on the staff and if one goes on vacation or is out, another worker then cares for that particular group of children ( if they are in groups). I don't think the idea is to only cause young people to not want children, it is to make them think a little harder about the relationships they are in. Some of the girls seemed so sure of themselves and their abilities to be a mom, but when the going got rough, they broke down. I think they realized that if there were cracks in their relationships with their boyfriends, the stress of caring for children only exacerbated it. The show then used toddlers in the next segment, then will follow with pre-teens, teens and the elderly.

[janhunt]

[QUOTE=jennlyn;11686863]I thought the premise of this show sounded horrible, but I did watch it. One thing that struck me was that while many people are getting upset over the show, has anyone considered that perhaps this isn't the first time any of these children have been cared for by someone other than their parents?]


Absolutely, but daycares are also dangerous places, for the very same reasons we are protesting this show. Two wrongs don't make a right!

See Dr. Peter Cooks' article "Attachment And Separation: What Everyone Should Know" at http://www.naturalchild.org/peter_cook/attachment.html and Dr. Elliott Barker's article, "The Critical Importance of Mothering" at http://www.naturalchild.org/elliott_...mothering.html .

We have little control over day care centers, but we can - and should - protest a show that supports and promotes the public acceptability of early childhood separation. We can also work for legislation that gives financial support to at-home parents, and for programs that enable parents to bring their babies to work.

Jan

[Kimberly Amherst]

This garbage is a reason why I support the usage of synthetic infants(animatronics, CGI, whatever's used to create them) as an ethical alternative to real infants for live-action shows, movies, ads, etc. Cartoons are also a good alternative. Think of how these poor, defenseless children must feel by now. We should stop exploiting our very young for the sake of entertainment and money once and for all and show them the love and compassion they deserve instead.

[llamalluv]

They are actually using the controversy to promote the show. DH wanted to watch it, so we have been, and I thought it odd that NBC has been promoting the show by calling it "controversial".

It's really bothering me how the parents are "thrilled" that their children are "bonding" to total strangers. I would rather my child scream his head off when stranger approached than to form a "bond" with someone he'd never met. He'd be safer.

[Mama2NandD]

Reality Check

It is unthinkable that any parent would willingly subject his or her child to potential harm, and yet that is exactly what the misguided participants in this reality series have done. According to the show's executive producer, Richard McKerrow, NBC went to great lengths to ensure the physical and emotional well-being of everyone involved in the series. In a letter to USA Today dated July 16, 2008, McKerrow insists, "During filming, the teen couples were shadowed by nannies 24 hours a day and were observed on closed-circuit television by production and the babies' parents. The parents were able to visit their children as often as they wanted, and they were at liberty to remove their children at any point." He continues, "We believe that the controlled filming environment is safer than are child care institutions and most domestic premises." McKerrow's statements are supported by Xavier Amador, the licensed clinical psychologist who oversaw the team of psychologists, psychiatrists and a pediatrician who evaluated the show's participants. Amador writes: "In addition to extensive clinical interviews and formal psychological testing, a detailed history of each baby's and toddler's experiences of separation from their mother (or other primary caregiver) was made. Also, we did a live assessment of their ability to tolerate separation. Only those who clearly demonstrated they could handle the situation in a healthy manner were cleared to participate. Furthermore, our follow-up interviews revealed that no child was harmed by their participation, much less abused." It certainly sounds convincing, unless you have seen the show that is. One does not need a degree in clinical psychology to recognize that rigid bodies, frantic searching eyes, averted gazes, uncontrollable crying, and spontaneous vomiting are signs of severe emotional turmoil. I can only imagine how heart-wrenching it must have been for those parents to sit and watch their children in obvious distress. Perhaps they were comforted by the notion that their participation in this "social experiment" would make a difference. After all, that is the whole point of "The Baby Borrowers" is it not? The show purports to discourage teen pregnancy by enlightening young people on the realities of parenthood. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, if the comments posted on the NBC website and other blogs are any indication, the teenagers watching the show are not being dissuaded by what they see. They are, in fact, rooting for their favorite couples. One writes, "i love you alicea and cory yall make a really good parents!!!!" So much for the slogan, "It's not TV. It's birth control!" If one is so naive as to believe that the executives at NBC are interested in anything more than ratings, then it is time for a reality check.