"Appropriate Behavior" During Labor... Brain Storming

[onlyAngil]

I am working over my childbirth education class plan and wanted to include a but more about "appropriate behavior" during labor. I am not really sure how to go about doing this though... I understand that it can be touchy, but I want to show the class that they have options, and diversity.

Does any one know a movie, hand out, or something that might help?

I am totally up for ideas!

TIA

[MsBlack]

Whose appropriate behaviour? Laboring woman's? Helpers?

And I don't think I get what you mean by appropriate behaviour....do you mean, suggestions for helping mom cope w/labor? Or what?

[onlyAngil]

Originally Posted by MsBlack

Whose appropriate behaviour? Laboring woman's? Helpers?

And I don't think I get what you mean by appropriate behaviour....do you mean, suggestions for helping mom cope w/labor? Or what?

I am sorrie that is a little open ended... forgive me.

I was thinking about how a mother will/ is expected to act as she is in labor, some crying/ seeming up set, others quite/ not saying things... Also how others feel you "should" (not that there is any right way) act/ interact, touching, kissing, hugging, holding, while others feel that the man should not touch the other, how some people feel that nothing should be said at the time of birth or that only a prayer should be being said, and other think you should be loud and joyful.

It is for the first of the classes, I want to give the understanding that different people feel/act/ and interact differently, and that that is fine, and supported here.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

I avoid "shoulds" in my classes when it comes to behavior. I tell the partners to follow the mom's lead, and I show many different videos that show women dealing with labor in a variety of ways. There's the zen-like Birth Day, and births more like my own (I am LOUD). There is no right or wrong-whatever the mom needs to do is fine.

[art_teachermommy]

I agree with Sublime...I think that the words 'appropriate behavior' makes it seem like there are only certain things that are acceptable in birth. No birth is the same, so behavior will vary.
Maybe you mean 'typical behavior' instead? Like...how a woman might cope with transition and some signs you might expect to see during that time (which could include anything from moaning, crying, or subdued behavior.)


Also...in response to how others (family/helpers) deal with birth...you might look for some great analogies about how we all deal with things differently in life...and birth is no different. And give some starters of different ways...

good luck!

[xelakann]

As a mom who just had her baby in November, I would have loved more of a discussion of what to expect in terms of behavior during labor. For example I was shocked that I didn't want people talking to me or touching me. I was shocked I was so loud... I was kind of embarrassed afterward because of both those things. I had tried to watch a lot of natural childbirths, but it seemed like I only saw the zen/quiet ones, where the mom and partners were working together as one. Man that was not my birth. No talking, no touching and lots of noise. Oh yea, and I was roaring like a lion... seriously growling... I wish someone told me that I may do that in labor.

So I do think the OP should address this in her childbirth class. Semantics aside this would be very helpful information.

[Maggi315]

I do try to address this with my clients, I let them know that it's hard to tell what they are going to want, lots of touching, no touching, just their husband, just the midwife, and that they need to let us know. I also let the husbands, partners, whoever, know that we all need to follow the moms lead. One of my pet peeves both as a midwife and laboring mom is that when things are getting tough and mom is working hard, and people are having conversations, laughing, commenting on the TV, etc. So i let people know we won't be doing that around the mom, and I tell them at some point, when we are probably all talking, even joking, laughing, etc. mom will stop finding things funny!!! And we will take that lead and go with it! Dad's don't always get that, so I sometimes have to gently remind him that we are in the "serious work" phase and mom doesn't have a sense of humor anymore!

It's so different for everyone and I don't know anyone knows how they are going to react until it happens to them, but it's good to know ahead of time that all of it is normal behavior. Heck, some moms just want to be left alone by themselves in the bathtub, and that's to be respected and honored too!

[starshine1001]

Originally Posted by xelakann

Oh yea, and I was roaring like a lion... seriously growling... I wish someone told me that I may do that in labor.

I read that an had to laugh...that's how I described myself at the end, as well! Growling...

Anyway, I agree that it should be discussed, not to suggest what is appropriate or not, but just to give momma a heads-up about how she may or may not feel. I always wanted different things in different phases of labor. In the beginning, lots of cuddling, "dancing", etc. As the hours wear on, I want to be left ALONE...just hand me a cold washcloth for my forehead when I put my hand out. I'll put it on myself, thank you very much, and don't even think about touching me. Then toward the end, I want a little help...not a lot, mind you, but a hand to hold or counterpressure to my lower back. As far as vocally, I'm one of the zen-types until my body starts involuntarily pushing...then the growling begins! I know some people are concerned about noise level or lack thereof, but I have come to not give two hoots about what anyone else thinks about me or the way I give birth...I'm going to do what's good for ME, end of story. If someone doesn't like it, too bad! Hahaha!

[DoomaYula]

Yeah, I think moms should know that pretty much anything is possible during labor. Be open to screaming or growling or crying -- or being completely silent.

IRL, I am a very social person, very chatty, very talkative, I rarely shut up. So I was shocked (and so was my bff and my dh) that during my labor I was silent. I just wanted complete silence, and mostly darkness. I'm really glad my older kids weren't awake because I couldn't handle any noise from anyone. My bff says she was tip-toeing around my room trying to make my bed as quietly as possible, and I was holding up my hand saying, SHHH. PLEASE. SHHHH.

[laoxinat]

I would add, though that it was enormously helpful to me for my MW and her assistant to gently help me avoid panic, i.e. hyperventilating, high pitched tones, etc. This of course treads a very fine line, and it was only because of our very good communication and rapport that it worked. The last birth I attended the mama was actually quite grateful for this guidance, we had discussed at length what she wanted beforehand, and she was aware of her own tendency to panic when in labor. She later told us that throughout her whole first stage she was plotting to grab the phone and call 911 :

[~*~MamaJava~*~]

I think it's a great idea to discuss it - it wasn't covered in the lame prenatal class we took - but I wouldn't use the phrase 'appropriate behaviour'. 'Ways of laboring', maybe, or just 'common ways that women behave when in labor'.

I just have a pet peeve about appropriateness during labor - I know the nurses in the hospy were not impressed with me during my labor with #2 I wasn't appropriate.

[Charmie981]

Originally Posted by DoomaYula

My bff says she was tip-toeing around my room trying to make my bed as quietly as possible, and I was holding up my hand saying, SHHH. PLEASE. SHHHH.

Yeah, and plastic just ISN'T QUIET! I have used this one as an example of how you might feel when things get intense...even the slightest sounds can be obnoxious.

I think "typical" is a better word, for sure, and I do think that it's valuable information. A lot of birth videos are kind of a cliche...I don't know if the moms who roar and/or scream don't want their videos published or if the publishers are looking for the quiet "typical" birth scene, but I agree that even if you show lots of videos, there's still something to saying "you may not react to your labor like ANY of these women and *that's OKAY*"

[nancynance]

this might be good...

Relaxation, Rhythm, & Ritual: The 3 Rs of Childbirth (VHS or DVD) by Penny Simkin. I've only seen it once, but I seem to remember women being noisy in a really good way!