Would you want an evaluation 3 years post birth?

[gwen's mom]

In Feb. I had our 3rd child with a different midwife that I used for my second birth. The midwife from my second birth recently contacted me after finding out that I had had a 3rd child and confronted me as to why I had not hired her again. The day she called I was exhausted as I was 4 weeks PP and had just spent the day house hunting. I gave her a rather shallow, partial answer related to my DP's comfort level and personal fit. After our phone conversation she proceeded to e-mail me, asking again for specifics as to why I did not re-hire her.

My DP said that I should send her my evaluation of her services. I wrote it just after my second birth but never got it sent off. It was a very honest evaluation of her services and clearly explained my displeasure with her care. As birth professionals, would you want/find value in an evaluation that is three years old? I never replied to her e-mail...should I just ignore it and move on?

[bobandjess99]

I guess It would make a difference to me where she was coming from. If I thought she was coming from a place of honestly wanting to know why i chose someone else, so she could learn from it and possibly learn something/chaneg something about how she works, then I probably would.

[Reha]

I would want to hear it, no matter how long had passed.

[mamato3cherubs]

Originally Posted by Reha

I would want to hear it, no matter how long had passed.

:

[MsBlack]

Yes, do send it. I provide postpartum client opinion surveys to my clients, and woud definitely want to receive one back even so long later. Sometimes it is clear to me even without the survey that someone was not too happy w/me--sometimes not. And this mw needs some reality check, I think!

I think it was pretty inappropriate for her to contact you--especially repeatedly and especially at this time. I could see her sending an email--'heard you had another baby, congrats....and btw, since you never sent back your feedback on my services, do you think you could do that sometime?' Or something equally cheerful, nonintrusive and fairly neutral.

[balancedmama]

Originally Posted by MsBlack

Yes, do send it. I provide postpartum client opinion surveys to my clients, and woud definitely want to receive one back even so long later. Sometimes it is clear to me even without the survey that someone was not too happy w/me--sometimes not. And this mw needs some reality check, I think!

I think it was pretty inappropriate for her to contact you--especially repeatedly and especially at this time. I could see her sending an email--'heard you had another baby, congrats....and btw, since you never sent back your feedback on my services, do you think you could do that sometime?' Or something equally cheerful, nonintrusive and fairly neutral.

: I think the manner in which she contacted you was fairly unprofessional.

[gwen's mom]

In her defense I should clarify a bit...with my labor in Feb. my water broke and I was spotting for almost 18 hours without any contractions so my MW suggested we go to the hospital for a quick ultrasound to rule out privia. We walked in, had the ultrasound, were fed a bunch of bunk by the resident who tried to scare me into staying ("you and your baby and healthy 'for now' but that could quickly change. We need to start pit, antibiotics, etc, etc...") and we walked out AMA.

The hospital only got my name and from that they looked me up in their system and found that I was a client of the old midwife. With my second pregnancy I had had some lab work done, which they had billed that midwife for, as per her contract. She contacted me after she got the bill for the ultrasound and had put 2 & 2 together as there was also a billing line for use of a L&D room. I asked her to send me the bill, which she has, and that's when all of her questions started...

[dewi]

By calling you She is asking for the evaluation, send it. It is an opportunity for this professional to learn how she did not serve you well.

[tlcdoula]

I am not a midwife, so this answer might not apply, but as a doula I wouldn't want an evaulation 3 yrs after the fact because the reality is that in those three years I would have learned more, had more experience, and probably changed the way to do things. I can definitely tell you that I am not the same doula now that I was three years ago. I have learned a lot more, changed my tools, educated myself more, etc.

I am surprised that she called you to find out why you found other care. Maybe she felt she had a great bond with you and thought you would call her back - sounds like maybe her feelings were hurt? Not sure - just guessing?!

[MsBlack]

It makes more sense that she called, thanks for sharing that about the billing issue. At least her call was not 'out of the blue'!

Anyway, in spite of agreeing w/pp about my practice most likely changing over a 3yr period, I would still want the eval--esp. knowing you'd done it soon after the birth (when memory/feelings were fresh). It might help me see things that I'd never seen before (so, didn't change yet!) or it might help me feel good about changes that I *had* made

[jenmidwife2b]

I probably wouldn't want to know three years later because as Michelle pointed out I'm not the same person now that I was three years ago. But, she asked, so I'd give it to her.