Things I wish I had done/known and tips about birth and just after...

[alexsam]

This morning I was thinking of some of the great tips I got and things that really helped when I had my first son and I thought I should share them and start a thread... Of course, not all of them are perfect for everyone, but here goes...

1.) If you are doing traditional (snail mail) birth announcements, buy them BEFORE the baby is born and address them. In those final days before birth, there is often a lot of sitting around. It is a perfect time to address all the announcements and stamp them and such so after the baby is born, you can fill out the info and pop them in the mail. Lots of time saved.

2.) Get a few nice nightgowns and a nice robe. One for the hospital, one or two for home. DO NOT GET DRESSED when you go home until you are ready to venture out. People will show up after the baby is born for well wishes, dropping off food and gifts, etc. If you greet them dressed and in hostess mode, they tend to stay longer, maybe expect you to do things... If you show up to the door clean and brushed, but in a nightgown and a nice robe, they remember you may need some TLC and they are friendly, but visits are short. Excellent!

3.) Have some cash on you the few days after the birth. Often people will ask if there is anything you need or they can do for you. It is helpful to have a little cash if you feel comfortable asking them to pick up some milk or run to the pharmacy. Or even if you just need to order pizza.

4.) Stock up on trashy/light hearted magazines for labor and after. Do not bring "War and Peace" with you. Bring something you can skim and short snippets to read for down times during labor and for those first few days.

5.) If you don't need lots of gifts for the shower, ask people to bring a healthy meal that can go in the freezer. If you don't have a shower, make a few freezer meals. You will not want to cook after the baby is born.

6.) Set up the nursery before hand. After the baby comes home, life is hectic. That mobile in the box just sits there. You have to run out for batteries for the monitor. You find you got the wrong size sheets. This can be avoided with a weekend of "setting up".

7.) Buy baby first aid things BEFORE the baby comes home. That first upset call to the doctor in the middle of the night and guarenteed they are going to ask for the baby's temperature, give tylenol, etc. It is a lot easier to have that on-hand to start.

8.) GO TO THE DENTIST. GET YOUR HAIR CUT. GET YOUR OIL CHANGED. Do all the little "routine" things that you do for yourself or make any "grown up" appointments now because after the baby is born, these things are MUCH harder to do.

9.) Start going to La Leche League, interview and choose a doctor for the baby, etc. The first time you have any problems with a first born babe, you will need help fast and without knowing what your resources are, it is difficult.

10.) Buy a package of thank-you cards. As soon as you get a gift, write it out just then, mail it. If you have to wait, things get muddled.

11.) Buy a baby scrap book. Keeping track of pregnancy/birth health and baby's milestones is more than just a cute activity. It is a very real possibility that later in your child's life you will be asked about these things, so keeping accurate records from the begining is really helpful.

Anyone else?

[ZoshaMosha]

Thanks for the tips! Those are great. You just reminded me I need to get my driver's license renewed ASAP.

[hopeandolive]

Originally Posted by alexsam

1.) If you are doing traditional (snail mail) birth announcements, buy them BEFORE the baby is born and address them. In those final days before birth, there is often a lot of sitting around. It is a perfect time to address all the announcements and stamp them and such so after the baby is born, you can fill out the info and pop them in the mail. Lots of time saved.


Anyone else?

Great post! I just wanted say that I enjoy doing the photo announcements from drug stores (CVS, Walgreens etc) and obviously you can't get these in advance of baby's arrival, so I buy the "Avery" brand labels that can be preprinted with addresses (also very handy for Christmas cards etc).

I also wanted to add get some stool softener....those first BM's post delivery can be very painful!

And if you plan on nursing you may want to bring your nusing pillow to the hospital, have some Lansinoh cream on hand and nursing pads (disposable or re-usuable)

[alexsam]

Yes... And menstrual pads

[crosscat]

These are really great tips! I'm so glad you started this thread!

[jencat]

Keep it coming ladies! I'm going to save this thread!!

[Mrshawwk]

Have lots of just plain comfy T shirts ready to go. When your milk comes in you leak all over the place, plus the baby spits on you all the time. If you have a pile of clean shirts handy you can change quickly. If you have black T shirts, the milk leaking won't be as noticeable, especially if you have visitors around.

I like to have a nitelite in my room so I can see the baby at night without harsh light.

A rice sock is nice to abdominal pain from birth or afterpains (which for me were so much worse for 2nd and 3rd children!). Take an old tube sock, fill it with rice and tie a good knot at the end. Then just pop it in the microwave for a couple minutes and it is nice and warm and adjustable for anywhere you need relief.

BIG bras for engorgement!!

[Cheshire]

In addition to pads get some witch hazel and witch hazel pads (in case you are healing a tear or birthed a hemrroid in addition to your new baby).

Stock up on healthy snack foods. I never really had time to fix myself a meal the first month or two when I was home alone with baby so I snacked on not so healthy foods).

I loved my "baby's first year" books. I referred to them constantly so I would know when to call the doc, when to chill out, etc.

[mkmama]

BARELY damp a pad...form it to your body, and then freeze it. It will be a great relief to soreness.

[alexsam]

Snacks for at home after are key. Also, some frozen lunch type things... They have them in the healthy stores now... little pizzas, burritos, etc. Once all the relatives left, I had to make lunch for myself... and didn't want to!

Nightlights! Yes!

Also, if there is anything you want "footprinted", take it to the hospital and they will ink them when the do the baby's feet for the certificates. Sometimes there is a sheet in the baby scap book, or if you want it just on nice paper to frame... Bring them and let them know ahead of time and they will foot stamp what you ask .

Also, for a hospital birth, eat before you go. Many times they don't want you to eat in labor there (dumb, but true). So, either talk it over first with your health care provider to see if they will give you permission to eat during labor in the hospital. If it seems like it will be an issue, make sure to eat before you go.

Also, for the hospital birth, make your spouse/partner pack themselves a meal and snacks. THEY will be hungry and you don't want them dissapearing because they are starving and need to go to the cafeteria. Also, with many hospitals the way they are, have your PARTNER pack an overnight bag, as they can often stay too. If nothing else, they will want a clean shirt and a toothbrush in the hours ahead .

You may want something sentimental from you (to the baby) in the hospital. Like, for my son, we carried him out of the hospital in a special blanket. We saved our hospital bracelets and the little hat they put the babies in. Think if there is anything you would like to make a keepsake, as it will have meaning if it is there at the birth and fist days.

[Hesperia]

Having a flash back to my brothers birth (almost 9 yrs ago now).

If you are having a hospital birth, check how they expect you to pay(edit: for parking). Some are just a ticket now, but often (specially in short term) they only use loonies or twonies (or, gosh, American money!). Tape the correct change for 24 hours+ under the dash...now!

[love14]

: 1st time mom here no tips just subbing for more great suggestions

[ChristyM26]

Wow... this is awesome. And so well timed!

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by hopeandolive

And if you plan on nursing you may want to bring your nusing pillow to the hospital, have some Lansinoh cream on hand and nursing pads (disposable or re-usuable)

: and use the Lansinoh after every feeding. Don't wait till your nipples start hurting, like I did. And be aware that it will leave grease stains on bras/t-shirts.

If you're doing a hospital birth, wear the hospital gown till the bleeding backs off a bit. No need to bleed on something you'll have to wash when you get home.

[Juvysen]

Olive oil on the baby's butt makes meconium WAY more easy to clean off. I mean WAY more easy. Before you put on the first diaper smear some olive oil on there and before you put on any new diapers. Totally worth it.

Also... unless you're doing cloth mama pads, go for the depends. After my first birth, I bled like crazy for days, blood everywhere (TMI, I know). I swore I'd use depends postpartum the next time. They're way more comfortable on a sore perineum than those logs *ahem* pads that they give you in the hospital or birth kit, too.

[alexsam]

ok- let's think... what else...?

I think most people know, but just in case... Don't pack any of your pre-maternity clothes to wear back from the hospital. You will not fit in them. Sweats, maternity pants, a big dress... No regular jeans! Bring underwear that you don't mind getting ruined (there is a lot of blood, that is normal). Bring menstrual pads. The biggest you can get .

Be prepared that the hospital will want to see your installed carseat before they let the baby go home. It is actually really helpful to install it a week or two before and you can have it inspected by your local police or fire dept. for free who will make sure it is installed properly. Call them and they will tell you when to come in.

Get and pack a diaper bag BEFORE the baby is born (after is just hectic). If nothing else, mosy doctors want a 2 week baby check up. Having a ready diaper bag is one less thing to grapple with in those first few crazy days.

Put an EXTRA SHIRT FOR YOU (and some extra breast pads) in the diaper bag. There is lots of milk and leaking. It's nice to have a clean shirt.

If you choose to vaccinate, they will probably give you a little book in the hospital. to keep your own records of vaccination. Make sure you get the vaccine name, the date, the lot number, the pharma company that made it and the name of the doctor that oversaw the vax and take this booklet to every doctors appointment where the baby will get a new vax and require them to fill it out every time. Keep this in a safe place with your records.

The hospital will most likely give you a diaper bag with formula samples. If you will not need these, there are places that you can donate them (food banks, organizations that help breast cancer survivors, organizations for HIV infected mothers, etc).

Treat yourself to something and maybe drop some not-so-subtle hints to your partner that something sweet and kind in recognition of becoming a mother would be welcome. There are some places that have special limo packages home from the hospital. Or flowers. Or a present. A little something sentimental for your partner from you is also nice . Remember, it is the birth of a baby, but it is also a huge change in your life as well. A little something to celebrate and mark the moment for mommy and/or daddy is nice.

[MeepyCat]

I feel like we need a lazy mama list here, too.

I have never been a scrap book/baby book person. I cannot imagine a reason why I would need to know EXACTLY when DS cut his first tooth or took his first steps - if there's an issue with a developmental delay or other health problem, the ballpark figure will do. It's not like it's a question the bank is going to ask me.

Cosleeping reduces the amount of furniture you have to shuffle and maximizes your sleep! We did not set up the actual nursery until DS had been home for two weeks. No, none of those cute mobiles we got as gifts have ever been hung, but it's not like we *used* the nursery for the first month, really.

There is no need to get "nice" nightgowns to wear in front of visitors. A bathrobe splattered with spit up or breast milk will send the same message, and you almost certainly already have a bathrobe. (On a serious note, some people find hanging around in their pajamas depressing, and those people should get dressed. Clothes do not automatically equal "hostess mode.")

"Helpful" visitors are sometimes the most exhausting kind. People who come over to do things for you often need instruction and guidance: where do the plates go? how do you sort your silverware? People who bring meals may leave you with a sink full of dishes. Even people who you'd think should know better are sometimes so blitzed by the presence of the baby that they wind up being demanding guests. There is no need to stand for this. Feel free to begin explaining to people that what you need - what you really, really need - is to watch a silly movie and have a margarita, and that the best way for them to enable that is to hold down the other end of your sofa and make sure the spare margarita glass doesn't get lonely. Promise not to quiz them on the movie, so that they can stare at the baby if they like.

If you have a hospital birth, sneak out as many of the post-partum cold pack pads as you can.

[_betsy_]

Take a deck of cards, that morning's newspaper, some light snacks and a change of clothes for DP if you are birthing outside the home.

Take your own pillow, and put it in a pillowcase that is not white - patterned or a solid color other than white - to distinguish from the hospital or birthing center's linens.

After, remember you just had a baby. Even if you're feeling great, had the world's easiest PG and a 2-hour L&D, your body really did go through a lot. Rest. have someone else get you water, a snack, a pillow, the remote, whatever. DO NOT PLAY HOSTESS!

[~Ryleigh's Mommy~]

Depends underwear instead of maxi pads

Use the maxi pads as ice packs though. Squirt some water into the absorbent part of the pad and put it in the freezer. It's less harsh than an actual ice pack, and when the water melts it won't leak anywhere. Do this BEFORE the baby is born, so they are frozen when you need them after the birth.

This is something that's kind of embarrassing, but one thing I was really grateful I did, was use a depilatory cream "down there" when I thought I was getting close to labor. It made keeping clean MUCH easier than dealing with the clotty lochia stuck to a bunch of hair Don't shave..it grows back so fast, is itchy when it grows back, and I wouldn't want to have to deal with trying to shave a swollen 'area'. The cream lasted about 3 weeks, enough time for the bleeding to really back off and the swelling to go down.

I know it's great to be able to sleep on your tummy following the birth, after months of not being able to sleep that way, but be careful-- if you are sleeping on your tummy the night that your milk comes in, you will be in P-A-I-N

[Qestia]

The one thing I'd wish I'd known was that DS wasn't going to starve to death. There's so much pressure to supplement with formula, which I gave in to, and I think it permanently damaged our breastfeeding relationship. Now I know better--and I won't let them scare me again.