older child and night waking during hb...

[hipsands]

did any of you homebirthers have a plan about another older child and night waking while you are in labor? my second child wakes once per night, and is in a BIG mommy-only phase right now. I have about 7 weeks left until due date, and I'm debating whether to try something at night where only daddy is available (though I know it will mean crying for my 2.5 yr old, but I don't know for how long, though he is a loud cryer so I have no doubt I'll hear everything even if I'm not there). my mom will be spending the night if labor starts in the day and continues at night, though I don't really know if I'd have someone call her at 3 am or not.

both my other children's births were day labors with an early evening birth (6 and 5 pm respectively) so maybe that will also happen with the third child, but this is my first homebirth. any ideas or suggestions? did any of your older kids awaken during laboring, and if so, did your partner put them back to sleep, or did you if the labor was early (and I guess not at a hard point)?

thanks!! sande (mom to J 4 yrs and G 2 yrs)

[georgannemomof6]

we let ours stay up as late as they wanted (to maybe be awake for the birth) but they zonked out around 11, baby didn't come til 1 am, and they all woke up to meet him around 7
My mom, was here, to help with the kids,just in case, as well

[janasmama]

I strongly believe in prepping children, at any age, for things to come. A 2.5 year old understands a lot. Have you shown him any birth videos? If not, I would consider starting with that so that he has at least seen something of the sort in the case that he ends up witnessing the birth or even some of your labor.

As for the nighttime waking, you could start telling him over the next few weeks that you are going to be having a baby and it might come at night when he wakes up so you won't be able to come to him...although you really want to, "mommy won't beable to walk" (or something like that) but that daddy will come and take care of him, okay?

Then when you get closer and he goes to bed you could tell him that if he wakes up daddy is going to come in, not mommy because you need your rest, etc.

We have always done this with my dd1 and it helps her understand that some change will take place and preps her for what to expect.

You can also try praying for a day time birth or pray that he won't wake. I prayed for a daytime birth with my last and he was born at 3p.m. and I got sleep the night before whereas with my first I was awake a full 24 hours before I had her.

[Jes'sBeth]

We had planned for our almost 3 yr old to go over to a friend`s place for the night. We knew it would be hard on her but our daughter is a huge Mama`s girl and I needed Mama to help me birth our 2nd child (lesbian couple... my wife carried our first, I carried our 2nd) Our older DD is just NOT an easy going child and in a stressful situation (like ANY stressful situation) she`s clingy. We knew that would not be successful for me birthing, for Annie to get anything out of the birth etc.

So we packed her off. Went pretty well except my labour stalled out and baby didn`t arrive that night...

After more than 24 hrs of being stalled out contractions started again at 11pm and I lay in bed waiting to see if it was the real deal for an hour when I decided they were. We asked our friend who had taken our daughter the night before if she would mind coming over and sleeping here with our daughter (we co-sleep, so do they) so we had someone with our daughter upstairs during labour. As it turned out she woke a few times looking for her sippy and then woke for good at about 6am (usual time) our 2nd dd was born at 6:45. There was only one moment when our older DD was crying that Jes went up to her to see if she was okay that I really wished we had packed her off again but over all... it worked really well and our older DD got to meet her baby sister really quickly

[hipsands]

thanks for the ideas and thoughts ladies. I feel sort-of aware of what I am going to need for this labor and delivery, and not having any worries about the older kids is one of them, esp at night. I think I am going to have them spend the night at grandma's, if things are able to work out that way. sande