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x-posted in FB and NTP

my 9 month old ds is in a pattern of acting sleepy around 7pm (he starts rubbing his eyes and gets a little fussier), so we go to bed, nurse and he goes to sleep within about 10 minutes or so. i get up and all is good for about 30 minutes. then, he starts crying - usually with eyes closed - and rooting around. i go back, lie down, reinsert nipple. all is good. but then, it takes me longer to get away - like i might have to lie there at least 20 minutes and if i manage to get away this time, he'll sleep again no longer than 20-30 minutes. This is really starting to get to me as i have zero time without a child in a 24 hour period since i'm cosleeping next to one and possibly even two when older ds comes to our bed in the middle of the night. i'm worn out.
last night, ds did this, but then actually really woke up around 9:40. when he was nursing, he was "marching" on my legs, digging into me with his fingers and flailing around - off and on the nipple quite vigorously (and painfully). dh and i tried to just turn our backs and bore him to sleep, but he talked and made noises, tried to crawl over us, etc...obviously awake and nothing we did could get him to sleep until after midnight :. he was happy - not crying or anything unless we were trying to do something he thought was sleep-inducing.
when he's doing this catnap thing in the evening do you think that's a sign of overtired or undertired? should he nap more in the day or less? what should his naptimes be?
btw, he usually gets up around 8 then naps for about 2 hours sometime between the hours of 10 and 2. on rare occasions, he'll get in a 30 minute nap later in the day too (like in the car or something).
please advise!