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APRIL 2007 Mamas its APRIL ALREADY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABIES!!! - Page 24

post #461 of 531
Thread Starter 
Aww i am so sorry!! that just plain sucks! i hope the 2 of you work things out soon and reconnect i feel so bad for you both!


Quote:
Originally Posted by doudat View Post
Can I just feel sorry for myself for a minute?
It seems like every since Romi's in daycare, I've lost my connection with her... Like she and I are not the team we used to be I'm so heartbroken and I know it's probably silly and I'm crying while I'm typing this up, which makes me feel even more pathetic, but I feel like I've lost my daughter... She comes home and all she does is cry when she sees me and I know it's cause she just wants to nurse, and yet I wish she'd want to interact with me as well... Not just on that one level. Cry & nurse. And if I'm hiding somewhere she's prefectly happy. As soon as she sees me, it all changes. I miss our days together. I miss our complicity. I miss the quiet moments that are always the defining ones. Now that those are gone, I can't seem to relate to her anymore. I hope this will change. But evenings were never her best time, and now it's all I have left with her. :
post #462 of 531
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
Funny, I was actually afraid to type that I had given him nuts. I thought I'd get a (tactful) earful! I should have known you women wouldn't judge me

We know a really really enormous vegan (100% raw even) baby, so I feel pretty confident that Ion's size is genetic. His aunt, uncle and dad were all 'underweight' according to the charts. If I didn't have this to fret about, I'm sure I'd find something else.

i am pretty sure you are right A friend of a friend of mine (lol) Is vegan, her dd is TINY! has been forever! then she had her son he is a TANK! he is humongous! last time i saw him i wondered how she could carry him around in her Mei tei!! lol he looked the same size as her! she is a tiny lady and her husband isn't very large either! So i am pretty sure its just genetics


on peanut butter.. Caroline hasn't had any yet BUT my middle to kids had it before a year not by my choice but they did fine Caroline hasn't had it yet because she is so sensitive to things i think i need to cut out the little bits of dairy she is getting because her eczema is getting bad
post #463 of 531
Today is Sydney's B-Day! :

do i have to go to the toddler forum now?
post #464 of 531
Happy Birthday, Sydney! I'm keeping mine a babe as long as I can!
post #465 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
Funny, I was actually afraid to type that I had given him nuts. I thought I'd get a (tactful) earful! I should have known you women wouldn't judge me

We know a really really enormous vegan (100% raw even) baby, so I feel pretty confident that Ion's size is genetic. His aunt, uncle and dad were all 'underweight' according to the charts. If I didn't have this to fret about, I'm sure I'd find something else.
Silly, he looked healthy and alert to me! But you're right, always something to fret about. As for watching what he eats, it helps to think of how much and what he gets throughout the week, not just in one day. That mindset has helped me relax a bit about how Max is eating, too.
post #466 of 531
From a survivalists blog - we do live in uncertain times and always good to have some validation!


Fostering the Survival Instinct in Babies and Young Children, by Andrea J.

There has been a great push in this country by child rearing experts and the medical profession that children must be "socialized". It has been a pivotal buzzword for educators and parents alike. It is a main reason for the negative swell toward homeschooling. Yet, it is my contention that what we need to foster, from birth, is natural instinct. Natural instinct is what we understand as the survival instinct. It is an innate instinct of distrust. It is the instinct that alerts us as we start down a dark alleyway on our way home from work. It is the instinct that forces us to take a step back from a new person that we meet that sets off alarm bells in our brain. It is this instinct that must be fostered in our children and future generations.

From the moment our children are born, they are whisked away from the mother in the arms of another. As parents, we hand our babies off to Aunt Betty and Uncle Ernie, the day care worker, people we meet, and those we don't even know, the girls at the office, and those child care workers at church and the gym. It is expected. Those that don't hand their children over are scolded, scorned or scoffed at. Negative comments about the welfare of the baby are passed around behind the back of the cautious parent.

All of this passing around from person to person and situation to situation kills the child's very first survival instinct- distrust. A baby who is bonded closely with his primary caregiver will not take kindly to being passed from person to person. They will scream until they are returned to that person whom they trust above all else. A child who has been passed around and has never bonded closely with one primary caregiver will not display any sense of distrust with strangers or strange situations at all.

This initial distrust can be observed in the animal kingdom. From cow calves to elephant calves, the animal that is left with its primary caregiver, usually its mother, will not allow human contact. It will not stand to be touched or petted. It will scurry behind the knees of its mother and peer out at the unfamiliar person.

On the farm, we observe this all the time. Our beef cows calve in the field and are raised by their mothers. Our dairy cows, on the other hand, are separated at birth and raised on a bottle. They bond with the people who feed them. What about the beef calves? Any cowboy can tell you how tough it is to separate the momma's and babies. On the other hand, the dairy calves will follow even the farm dog around with no sense of danger or distrust.

How does one begin to foster a sense of distrust in children? Can it be learned in fifth grade when the local policeman comes and tells the school kids not to talk to strangers? Studies have shown over and over again that children will go to strangers, leave with them and trust them. Is this the result of our "socialized" society? How does this translate to these people as adults? Are these people more apt to find themselves in difficult situations, unable to distinguish a potential threat to themselves and their loved ones?

Allowing a baby to bond closely with one or two people is critical in fostering the survival instinct. It is natural. In fact, it is the most natural thing in the world. How does one start? Start by breastfeeding. Feeding time is bonding time. In a survival situation, powdered baby formula might not be available. Breastfeeding not only encourages a close bond, but it is also very convenient. A family on the move may forget a bottle, but I can guarantee that they won't forget Mom.

Wear your baby. During the daylight hours, wear your baby. Native cultures have always used various slings or wraps to keep their baby close while working. Only in modern times have we developed all sorts of contraptions to keep baby happy and away from us so that we can go on about our lives as usual. A sling or Maya wrap allows you to keep your baby content all day and close for feedings. In a survival situation, it keeps the baby quiet, warm and content.

Wearing your baby also offers the benefit of not having to share your baby with strangers. A baby in a stroller invites a host of onlookers and well wishers, exposing your baby to a host of strangers and their germs. A baby in a sling is almost always content and is but another step in the bonding process.

Sleep with your baby. Many people will surely sneer at this one, but sleep, like feeding, is a time of trust and deep bonding. Learning to sleep is important for an infant. Putting your child in another room, closing the door so you can't hear them screaming is certainly not natural. The cry of a child is supposed to drive us to action, it is part of our survival instinct. Sleeping with your baby is natural, all species of animals sleep with their offspring. In any survival situation, it may be necessary to share close quarters with your family members, it should be the norm, not the exception.

As baby's become toddlers, don't push them into the unfamiliar. I see this all the time at family gatherings, a parent forcing a child to sit on Grandpa's knee. Respect your toddler's sense of distrust; someday his life may depend on it. We must stop pushing our children to be "social". If a young child refuses to go to someone or resists a situation, clearly, there is no reason to force it on him. That child will never learn to trust his instincts, because we, as parents, don't trust his instincts'. Let the child lead. We are always bothered by our children's reluctance to accept new situations and people not because we want what is best for that child, but because we are afraid of what other people will think about us and our style of parenting.

By not respecting the reluctance of our children toward people or situations, we teach them to ignore their own internal warning signs. Only humans are unique in this, any other species would certainly perish.

Toddlers will always test and push their limits, but a toddler who trusts his caregiver and has bonded closely will be alert to that person's subtle nuances and body signals. In an unfamiliar situation, a toddler will stay close to the one he has bonded with. Often, without words, that person can convey a sense of unease or distrust of an individual or situation thereby keeping the toddler safe from possible danger without being so obvious. The child who has not shared this close bond, will often wander off, oblivious to dangers until an adult chastises him for his misdeed.

Indeed, it has been my experience that the caregiver with whom the toddler has bonded becomes the nucleus around which the toddler experiences the world. Initially, the toddler will always stay close, venturing off only in safe, familiar surroundings, staying close, often within touching distance, in unfamiliar territory or around new people. The toddler will engage in an activity, always keeping the caregiver within eyeshot, traveling back and forth between the activity and the caregiver. Thus the toddler learns to trust the world under the watchful eye of his primary caregiver, the one that he trusts above all else.

It is critical at this stage that the caregiver does not take advantage of the trust that has been built up to this point. If the toddler is not aware of some danger, a sharp, warning tone of voice will stop the toddler in mid action. All parents' possess this "emergency" tone. Unfortunately, this sharp, warning tone of voice is also often used in non-emergency situations, i.e. "Stop kicking your feet at the dinner table!" All effectiveness is soon lost and the toddler will learn to ignore the "emergency" tone of voice. Abusing the power of the "emergency" tone also erodes trust. The sky can only fall so many times.
In conclusion, if we truly wish to give our children an advantage in life, we should begin at birth. Our comfortable lifestyles have made us complacent. Civility towards others at all costs has caused us to abandon and ignore our own instinct of distrust. In the great name of socialization, we continue to place our youngest and most defenseless citizens in possible peril by ignoring their protests. If we, as a species, are to survive in the uncertain future, we must take our cue from the natural world and once again learn to foster the survival instinct in our babies and young children.

The Memsahib Adds: Andrea makes makes excellent points in her article. In our extended family we have noticed the same phenomenon that Andrea describes. In our extended family, the children who were bottle fed and put in day care are continually is hazardous situations because they have no caution. They wander away from the family at the zoo, at restaurants, and at parks. Furthermore they are easily led astray by their peers because they are not bonded to their parents.

Parents who choose a "close parenting" style will need to steel themselves against the pressure they will receive from relatives and neighbor that will chide them for not properly "socializing" their kids. Well meaning church members will repeatedly urge you to leave your children in the church nursery. Friends will chide you to leave your children with a sitter for the sake of your marriage. Ignore them! We used hear this from our family. But, we have seen the result: our kids are confident, competent, and safe. They can be trusted when using an axe or a gun. They are not shy, and in fact are quite good public speakers, (Although we purposely sought out public speaking training for our children, initially in a 4H club.) My advice is to raise your children solidly, dispense fair and impartial discipline, and minimize their exposure to television. You won't be sorry.
post #467 of 531
I wrote a big long post last night and then it disappeared on me. Gggrrr. :

(Once again) I have been MIA from you sweet April 2007 mommas. I lurk every now and then, but I can never find the time to sit down and post. Happy Birthday, sweet babies!!! What a wonderful year!! :

I wish Scout would stay one forever. Seriously - do they just keep getting cuter and more fun? 'cause I just don't know how this stage she's in could be topped. We chase eachother around the house and wrestle and cuddle and my heart melts every time she gives me a big open-mouth kiss and pats me on the back.

Scout's birthday party was really fun and she's been having a great time with my parents and grandma. (They've been visiting from out of town for the last 2 weeks) I'm afraid she will be heartbroken when they leave tomorrow. Every morning after she wakes up, she walks around the house to find them and then shouts "Hiieeee!" with a huge smile on her face when she sees them. She grabs for my mom and wants to hug her all the time. It's so sweet. Even though she's only been around her a few times, I can tell that she KNOWS she's her grandma.

Scout has been a sign language machine lately. I only have to show her a sign 1 or 2 times before she picks it up and starts using it. She is very good at communicating what she wants and will even make up signs if she can't get her point across at first. Sometimes she accompanies the signs with verbal language, but sometimes she doesn't. The one she verbalizes the most is "ball". Whenever she sees anything remotely sphere-shaped she squeals "Baow!! Baow!!" and does the sign for ball.

She is so friendly and waves and says hi to every stranger we pass when we're out in public. It's so cute.

She sleeps through the night about 70% of the time. The other 30% of the time, she only wakes up once or twice, but goes right back to sleep after I nurse her for a little while. She goes to bed from anywhere between 8:30 and 10:00 and usually gets up for the day between 7:30 and 8:30.

I think Scout's favorite birthday present is her Step 2 Push Around Buggy. The other day, we were out in the yard with my parents and I pushed Scout around our yard and up and down our street for an hour straight and she loved every minute of it. She likes it a lot more than being in the stroller and it's a nice break from wearing her in the sling or ergo.

Well, I'd better hop in the shower while she is napping. I will try not to be such a stranger
post #468 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnipmama View Post
Today is Sydney's B-Day! :

do i have to go to the toddler forum now?
Happy Birthday Sydney!


I'm been lurking in the toddler forum, but still staying mainly in the baby forum.


Yesterday was an evil day with Desmond. He woke up at 5am, after going to bed at 12:30. He won't go back to sleep so DH took him downstairs, he brought him up when he was getting ready for work and Desmond still won't sleep, so he stayed home from work and played with him some more. Desmond finally went back down for 3 hours around 8am. He was cranky and whiney and just not feel good all day though. I think he has a cold and a bunch of teeth coming in still. It was nice to have DH home though, since it meant I wasn't the only one there to deal with Mr Grumps.

He went to bed quickly at 11 last night and slept till about 3 and then again till 7 or so. He has seemed much happier today, hopefully he'll keep it up through the afternoon and evening.
post #469 of 531
MonTana Mama THANK YOU for the gift! ::

Quote:
Originally Posted by CorbinsMama View Post
Hanno,

I didn't know your LO was so small as well (I haven't read all the posts in the thread). Pippa is in the same boat as she weighed just 14 pounds at her one year appointment last week. She's in the >3 percentile for weight. She's 27.5" tall.

She hadn't gained anything in 2 months when we discovered she is anemic. Since we started supplementing with iron, she gained 7 ounces in 3 weeks, bringing her to that 14 pounds.
Mine was 17p 9o on his one year visit and I think 26 1/2 inches. I don't know about the height though because it was his first standing height measurement and if it's accurate he didn't get taller in 3 months.

Nice to see you Kewpie-o, that party looks like fun!

MaxiMom, interesting article/blog. A lot of it resonates with me and my experiences but I guess I wish that the writing was a little more accessible or something-- the tone is pretty harsh, but at the same time getting opposition from people who want you to detach from your child can get pretty harsh too.
post #470 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
MaxiMom, interesting article/blog. A lot of it resonates with me and my experiences but I guess I wish that the writing was a little more accessible or something-- the tone is pretty harsh, but at the same time getting opposition from people who want you to detach from your child can get pretty harsh too.
Yeah, a bit harsh I guess, but from a survival standpoint, life is not taken lightly. Glad you got something out of it.

We here, however, are floating on air! We got our present, doudat!!!!! You outdid yourself, so many lovely things, thank you!!!! How did you know I have a sweet tooth? So sweet, my dear, we love it.
So, we got a the greatest knit slippers, a new outfit, diaper cover, massage oil, lip balm, homemade licorice caramels that are out of this world, spicy chocolate that I'm dying to try and some hot cocoa. I've been down the last couple of days, this was a great pick-me-up. Here are some photos: the loot, Scarlet looking and trying on
post #471 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxiMom View Post
Yeah, a bit harsh I guess, but from a survival standpoint, life is not taken lightly. Glad you got something out of it.

We here, however, are floating on air! We got our present, doudat!!!!! You outdid yourself, so many lovely things, thank you!!!! How did you know I have a sweet tooth? So sweet, my dear, we love it.
So, we got a the greatest knit slippers, a new outfit, diaper cover, massage oil, lip balm, homemade licorice caramels that are out of this world, spicy chocolate that I'm dying to try and some hot cocoa. I've been down the last couple of days, this was a great pick-me-up. Here are some photos: the loot, Scarlet looking and trying on
i need to get back on here later and read the article you posted...
but great stuff! i love that flower bsww and booties! and in that picture of scarlet trying on her booties, she looks so much like you!
post #472 of 531

Nothing to do with Arlo!

Three years ago today, i was in labour with finn. He was born at home, at 2am on the 26th.
Brand new!
What happened to my little baby??
post #473 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by finn'smama View Post
Three years ago today, i was in labour with finn. He was born at home, at 2am on the 26th.
Brand new!
What happened to my little baby??
So grown!! Happy birthday to you sweet lady (and Finn too) !!
post #474 of 531

Also not about Arlo

I decided today that I want to buy a house. Specifically this one. The prices in this town are nuts and this is in a great location (dead end street, downtown, close to a great park, library, school etc.) What do you think? Isn't it cute??!
I am sick and tired of renting...
post #475 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
So grown!! Happy birthday to you sweet lady (and Finn too) !!
Thank you!
post #476 of 531
Happy Birthday!

That house is sooo cute! I think the price is reasonable, but I know nothing about your market. We're trying our best to find something under $300k, and there is little available. If I found something like that I'd jump on it - but I know DH would nix it. He really wants at least 3 bedrooms, because it is easier to sell, and unless we find something great we can afford or build onto/fix, we'd probably move after 5 or so years.
post #477 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by finn'smama View Post
I decided today that I want to buy a house. Specifically this one. The prices in this town are nuts and this is in a great location (dead end street, downtown, close to a great park, library, school etc.) What do you think? Isn't it cute??!
I am sick and tired of renting...
I so hear you! We just bought a house and will be closing in 2 weeks -- Yikes! I'm so excited about getting out of this apartment!!! Here are some pics of it: http://tinyurl.com/57jdu6

Use the arrows at the bottom to scroll through the houses to 70 Cantor Lane. Then click on the photo of the house to see interior photos.
post #478 of 531
I was getting the jitters from withdrawals....Micah has been throwing up for 4 days straight. The first two days were at my place (no internet) and the last two have been at my parent's (w/ interenet), but no MDC!! And, DS is NOT a good fill in...I spend too much and don't get quite the interaction....

Micah seems to be doing better. The first night was he was vomiting every 15 min and has seemed to have progressively slowed...but every time I think he's done, there he goes again. He's not showing symptoms of dehydration or high fever or anything. Is 4 to 5 days normal for the flu in kids?? At least I think it is the flu -- I have caught it and gotten better since his sickness began...poor kiddo! For me it was vomiting and headache, then nausea, then body aches and headache, we slept all day together, then I was better within 48 hours and 10 lbs. lighter...

Well, back to catch up on what I missed....
post #479 of 531
Quote:
Originally Posted by finn'smama View Post
I decided today that I want to buy a house. Specifically this one. The prices in this town are nuts and this is in a great location (dead end street, downtown, close to a great park, library, school etc.) What do you think? Isn't it cute??!
I am sick and tired of renting...
I love this house!! It is exactly what I would want if I could afford it! (Not that I would in any shape form or fashion attempt to take it from you )

Quote:
Originally Posted by CorbinsMama View Post
I so hear you! We just bought a house and will be closing in 2 weeks -- Yikes! I'm so excited about getting out of this apartment!!! Here are some pics of it: http://tinyurl.com/57jdu6

Use the arrows at the bottom to scroll through the houses to 70 Cantor Lane. Then click on the photo of the house to see interior photos.
I love your house, too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxiMom View Post
Yeah, a bit harsh I guess, but from a survival standpoint, life is not taken lightly. Glad you got something out of it.
I really loved the article. The warning toddlers thing came in handy with me. My parents watch my son while I am at work and I have noticed that they say no and raise their voice a lot. In their defense, they own their own computer store and it is not child proof, but in Micah's defense, it's not his fault that it isn't and they would rather "teach him no" than to create a semi-safe enviornment and save no for the really dangerous stuff. So, hopefully I can make some headway there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by doudat View Post
Can I just feel sorry for myself for a minute?
It seems like every since Romi's in daycare, I've lost my connection with her... Like she and I are not the team we used to be I'm so heartbroken and I know it's probably silly and I'm crying while I'm typing this up, which makes me feel even more pathetic, but I feel like I've lost my daughter... She comes home and all she does is cry when she sees me and I know it's cause she just wants to nurse, and yet I wish she'd want to interact with me as well... Not just on that one level. Cry & nurse. And if I'm hiding somewhere she's prefectly happy. As soon as she sees me, it all changes. I miss our days together. I miss our complicity. I miss the quiet moments that are always the defining ones. Now that those are gone, I can't seem to relate to her anymore. I hope this will change. But evenings were never her best time, and now it's all I have left with her. :
I know it is hard! Micah has been a fairly high needs child from the get go and I have definitely been there. a. lot. It is especially hard when you are transitioning to work. I would imagine that between you going back to work, her starting daycare, and you being sick, her world is crazy to her right now. I know it is frustrating, but once everything gets into a routine for both of you and you are feeling better as well things will become a new normal for you both. I think of nighttime as mine and Micah's reconnect time. I try not to stress over how often he wants to nurse nor over how long he sleeps for. It will get better. How are you feeling physically? Any better yet?

Quote:
Originally Posted by hanno View Post
Oh doudat I'm so sorry! Is your husband still working? I thought he was taking a leave. Maybe he can take her to see you? Is there no way your office can be more flexible with hours?

Oh and yes, my little guy's ribs aren't quite as visible now. I do worry too much. I worry that if he ever gets sick he has nothing to spare and I fear he'd have to be hospitalized or on IV for something that wouldn't be a big deal for a chubbier kid. I've started testing the waters for reactions to almonds and he's had a few with no ill effects and he loves them. Most of foods he likes are very low calorie (apples, celery, strawberries) so I think if I can dip them in nut and seed butters, maybe he'll gain a little.
I have been stressing over this exact thing with Micah the past few days. He just vomited AGAIN and he just doesn't have the weight to lose. He hasn't kept anything of measure down for going on 5 days. Today was better, but I still worry about how much he has lost.

Quote:
Originally Posted by finn'smama View Post
Yup, Arlo eats all kinds of nuts, even peanut butter. And he's been eating it for a while: because Finn feeds him all kinds of stuff before I can stop him. And I'm a terrible mother who doesn't pay a smidgen of attention to the guidelines:

A
This is one of the guidelines that I have stuck to, but for mostly selfish reasons : I cannot STAND the smell of nuts. ANY of them. Especially peanut butter, but the smell of any of them -- almonds, cashews, peanuts, pecans, etc. make me extremely nauseous. So I use the excuse that "they" say he can't have them until he's three to help me out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by finn'smama View Post
Also, can I just say how happy I am that it's spring!: I have a tan on my face, my kids are covered in dirt and we've been at the park everyday. I am just feeling so good and so lucky. I am weaning myself off my ppd meds too. I think we are in a good place and I'm excited to not take a pill every night. I'm hoping my sex drive will increase a little too

A
I am loving spring as well. My mood is also being helped along that Micah has become super sweet. The first year was pretty trying for me. Between all of Micah's demands, my disappointment with labor and delivery, friend abandonment and then the onset of winter, I just felt like it was one cloud after another piling on. Things have improved a little lately between the weather and Micah's temperment. So here's hoping the worst is behind us!!
post #480 of 531
My doctor just called with my thyroid blood work. I thought my thyroid was off because I haven't had a period since weaning.
















































Nope, it's not my thyroid.

I'm pg.
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