Research paper about nursing and lactivism

[anthroamy]

Hi Everyone,

I am a UC Berkeley Anthropology student and mom to an exclusively breastfed 6 month old son. As a final project for a class I decided to do a paper on nursing, and would love to gather some opinions from other moms. All information will be used anonymously, and if you don't feel comfortable posting answers here feel free to email me: anthroamy [at] hotmail.com
Any help at all is greatly appreciated!

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

[Inspired007]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
Most people will avert their gaze but some have asked me if I need a blanket. I tell them no and they have always accepted this. No one has ever been rude yet.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way? Haven't gotten here yet, my baby is only 6 months old

3. Do you cover? Why or why not? I do not choose to cover unless I am in a situation where there are men on all angles around me. I choose to not cover because I firmly believe that nursing is natural and to do so would come across as though it is something to hide. I am not ashamed to nurse so I want be an advocate for it.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
If a woman can schedule her feedings and make it work for her and baby while at the same time allowing the baby enough nutrition to grow then I am not against it. I personally allow my baby to nurse on demand because I feel that this is the only way to ensure that the baby is getting adequate nutrition.

My baby was born Oct. 6, 2007 and has been exclusively breastfed all her life thus far.

[lara1828]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

Most people will just look away, if they notice at all. I had one man in a restaurant comment, "Well, now he's going to have his real dinner." (which I thought was funny) I NIP a lot and have never had a negative comment or been harrassed.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

I think around age 2 with my ds1. I think it was because he stopped looking "babyish". Noone seems surprised to see me nursing my younger ds, who is almost 2, but he still very much looks like a baby.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

I tried to cover up the first time I nursed in public. It just made it more difficult and I got too hot. Never again. I do tend to cover my breast with my shirt.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I've only known one woman who scheduled feedings. She has 5 kids and I think she felt like her life was too chaotic to stop and nurse whenever baby wanted to. I never saw the need to schedule feedings for myself and my nurslings, though I do occasionally put off my older nursling (4 yo) until later.

[Demeter9]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

Generally they have not had any reaction. Sometimes someone is uncomfortable and turns away. Sometimes someone frowns or huffs at me. Sometimes someone smiles. One time someone took my picture.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

Around one year I had a few comments that I squelched with information and friendly disregard.


3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

When my babies were small and it was hard to negotiate getting them latched on properly with my large breasts I would cover occassionally. The vast majority of the time I have not covered.

People see more boob on the women walking down the street than they do when I breastfeed. And I have have large breasts. If someone catches sight of "side boob" I cannot see how that is more offensive or shocking than the plate of boobs in the string tank top walking down the street every day.

I suppose I think that people who might be offended are ridiculous, and should mind their own business.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I figure that some people are far more needing structure than others. They feel out of control if they don't know exactly what is happening, when and why as much as they can possibly try.

I find scheduling unnatural and silly. I don't do it, never have.

[ramama]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
I haven't had any negative experiences in the 4+ years that I've been nursing in public. Sometimes people look away, but I sense that they're trying to give me privacy rather than out of shock or disapproval. Sometimes I catch someone trying to "sneak" a peek. I guess they are more uncomfortable with their own interest rather than with BFing.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
I am lucky to have a lactation consultant LLL-leader mother who nursed by two much-younger brothers past three years. DD1 self-weaned at 3 1/4 years, and DD2 is still nursing at 2 1/2 years old. Common reasons I've heard for stopping BFing are; once the child cuts the first tooth, once the child starts eating solids, once the child is old enough to ask to nurse, or once frequent nursing in public become unavoidable. Regardless, one year seems to be the limit of mainstream acceptance.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
I have never covered. I just don't find it neccessary or appropriate,

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I think some mothers schedule feedings because infant nutrition recommendations are, unfortunately, geared towards FFing. So I think that BFing mothers think that they're supposed to schedule. There seems also to be a wide-spread misconception that a child will be spoiled by nursing-on-demand. Adult-led parenting rather than child-centered parenting leads more to scheduling, I think. I have never scheduled. I couldn't if I wanted to, it's just not my personality. I did have to keep track of DD2s nursing simply because if she was being worn she would be content to starve, going four or five hours without eating as an infant. So I had to be aware, but never on a schedule.

DD1 is now 4 1/2 and DD2 is 2 1/2. DD1 nursed through my pregnancy with DD2 and I tandem nursed for 1 1/2 years. DD2 is still nursing.

[Apple Girl]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
Most of the time, people gave no reaction - that is, I'm not sure they noticed. Especially when DS was younger, he didn't really pop off a lot during a feeding. Often I would have people come up and comment on what a sweet/beautiful baby he is only to be surprised that he was nursing! As he got older and more active, he was less interested in nursing in public (too much else going on!). He usually only wanted to nurse when he hurt himself or was tired. But generally, I have had positive feedback NIP.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
Some of the old ladies at church asked me when I was going to wean DS when he was almost a year. I told them (politely but firmly) that we would continue as long as he wanted to. I think they may have thought it was odd, but I didn't really care - they're not my son's mom, you know?

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
Sort of. Not with a blanket or anything. Usually, I would let my son latch on and then cover up the top part of my chest with whatever shirt I was wearing. Usually his head covered most of my breast (he has a big head and I have a fairly small breast ), and his body would cover my stomach (since I mostly nursed sitting down). I would never put a shirt over his face or anything though. He needs to breathe!

I prefer to cover the top part of my chest mostly because I am shy. But I don't cover my son's face because he needs to breathe while he eats. And, it would probably be too hot. And, once he was old enough to move his arms in a coordinated fashion, he even would lift my shirt further to get "more air" (or maybe "more boob"!)

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
No idea. I can't imagine doing it though. My son was always very persistant - when he was hungry, he didn't want to wait, he wanted to eat NOW! If I had tried to schedule him I'm sure he just would have cried and cried. And I didn't think it was a very smart idea, especially given that it has such a negative effect on milk supply.

I guess if I really thought about it, I would say scheduling moms just want to feel more in control and less like the baby is running things on their terms. Just a guess though.

Hope that helps!


FYI - I answered the poll based on my history with DS, he no longer nurses all that much. He's probably about 90% self-weaned. Since I've been pregnant, my milk supply drastically decreased, and he only wants to nurse every few days or so now.

[theboysmama]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
I have been nursing almost 6 years and I don't notice what other peoples reactions are. When I first started nursing ds1 I had a woman send me to the dressing room in a thrift store bcs there were children present. I went in bcs I didn't know what to do. After that instance I have just held my head high and smile when people look at me. I am confident that what I am doing for my children is absolutely necessary. I never apologize or ask permisssion for my children to eat.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
with ds1 it was about 1 year. Our society is conditioned that a baby can do cows milk at 1 year so why would they need breastmilk. w/ ds2 and 3 no one has asked me when I was going to wean. I think they just knew.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
cover what? the baby usually covers my belly and my shirt usually covers my breast. I don't think it is ever appropriate to cover up a baby while they were eating. I just can't imagine eating with a blanket or cover over my head.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I think sceduled feedings help the parents to feel more in control. We haven't ever done that because for us nursing is way more than just eating. We don't do pacis so I am the paci adn if baby is sad, lonely, tired, bored, etc. then they can nurse.

I have 3 boys. Ds1 is almost 6. He nursed exclusively for 8 months, nursed through my entire pg, tandem nursed for 14 months and we weaned him at 3years 1month.
Ds2 is almost 4. He nursed exclusively for 6 months, He tandem nursed w/ his big brother for 14 months, nursed through 1 1/2 first tri-mesters (due to 2 miscarriages), nursed through an entire pg, then tandem nursed w/ his younger brother for 10 months. We weanted him at 3 1/2 years.
Ds3 is 16 months. He nursed exclusively for 7 months, tandem nursed for 10 months with his older brother and is going strong.

[MommytoHHH]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
Most people don't even notice. When DD was little they often thought she was just sleeping. I've had a few occasional looks or longer "stares" but never anything really negative.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
Some people (DH's colleagues, family members) have asked when I'm going to wean, but no one has really suggested that nursing my DD is inappropriate. She is almost 18 months and I am almost 16 weeks pregnant with #2. I have had to explain to a few people that you can nurse while pregnant, and that since I do have two breasts, it won't be a big deal to nurse a 2 year old and a new baby.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
No - there's nothing to cover. I wear an undershirt under whatever I'm wearing. I pull the top shirt up and the bottom shirt down just under my breast. My top shirt covers anything my DD is not covering up.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I think some mothers schedule feedings because they have been given bad information or do not have good social support. I think that some mothers schedule feedings simply out of doing what is most convenient for them rather than what is best for the baby. My mom still comments about how my DD uses nursing to comfort herself, as though that's a bad thing. I keep telling her that it's normal and natural.

[meldess]

Hi! I'm also an Anthropology student and am in the process of writing an ethnography on natural birth.

To answer your questions:
1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I don't nurse in public anymore but I only had one negative comment in the 2 1/2 years I did nurse in public. I wore my daughter in a wrap type sling most of the time so when she did nurse, one wouldn't necessarily notice unless it was pointed out. Although most moms who had nursed knew what was going on in there I'm sure, lol.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

All cultural conditioning. My friends started to think I was freak after two years and many members of my family thought it got weird at age three. My daughter is almost three and half and still nursing. Most people don't say anything (to my face anyway) because they don't want me to start my spiel. I'm also very un-defensive about the whole thing so there's really no point in trying to poke me with a sharp stick about it, I really didn't respond the way they expected me to. I suspect many don't even know she's still nursing because she currently nurses only after she wakes up and before she goes to sleep.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

Never covered. I did have the sling which made a natural cover but when she was out of the sling I never covered. I even nursed with a swimming suit pulled down, etc. My part in normalizing it, etc.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I think mothers schedule feedings as a convenience to themselves and perhaps unconsciously to find an excuse to quit nursing. I would guess that most mothers (save a medical condition) who don't "make enough milk" set themselves up for failure because they schedule feedings. I fed my daughter on demand, which turned out to be pretty constant for a long time. I began to make compromises with her and limit her nursing starting around age 2. I stopped nursing in public when she was 2 1/2.

If you need anthropological sources for your research, anthropologist Ashley Montagu's "Touching" has a great chapter on breastfeeding. There is also a book about the lactation practices of the !Kung-Sun tribe but that's more physical anthro and I can't remember the details. Good luck!

[nataliebassoon]

glad to help!

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
Honestly, I've never really noticed any reaction from people, but maybe that's because I'm not concerned about their reaction, so I'm not looking for it. Tonight I was nursing in public, and the lady next to me smiled at us, which was cool, because she was from another culture where modesty is more important than here, but most other cultures don't look at breastfeeding as immodest!

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
Not applicable: My daughter is only 5 months old! However, I think that people feel opposed to extended breastfeeding mostly because it is not the norm in our society, and also the sexualization of our society has an important effect on people's viewpoints.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
No, but I did at first- it has become easier to nurse without flashing my whole breast and I have also simply become more comfortable with the idea that others might see my breasts when I nurse in public. I don't cover anymore because I like being able to interact with my daughter visually when we are nursing. I think when I did cover it was partially for my comfort and partially for others' comfort, but now I am not worried about others' comfort when it comes to nursing my daughter.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I think a lot of mothers schedule feedings because it's what they think they “should” do, while other mothers may be schedule-oriented and find life easier when things run like clockwork because of their personalities. I think that strict scheduling is absolutely inappropriate and even dangerous, but a more relaxed “schedule” can be beneficial for some mothers and babies, especially at bedtime. For example, my baby likes to go to bed around 11:00 pm, and I usually nurse her to sleep. But if it is 11:00 and she is not asking to be fed yet, I will go ahead and offer her my breast to see if I can get her to go ahead and go to sleep for the night. However, if she wakes in the middle of the night and wants to nurse, I do not refuse her because it is not “time”- if she is asking to nurse it is probably because she needs to!

Edit: Just a little more information for you- this is my first daughter; she is 5 1/2 months old and has been exclusively breastfed her whole life minus and half dozen or so servings of cereal or banana, and a (small) bite or two of carrots. She acts very interested in food, but does not yet eat it on a regular basis

[anthroamy]

Wow, thank you everyone for the wonderful responses! Please keep them coming. I'm glad to see that on the whole people have had positive experiences. Thanks again, I truly appreciate the help

[anthroamy]

Originally Posted by meldess

Hi! I'm also an Anthropology student and am in the process of writing an ethnography on natural birth.

If you need anthropological sources for your research, anthropologist Ashley Montagu's "Touching" has a great chapter on breastfeeding. There is also a book about the lactation practices of the !Kung-Sun tribe but that's more physical anthro and I can't remember the details. Good luck!

Thank you for the information! Good luck on your ethnography, what a great idea

[spughy]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
I've never noticed a reaction one way or another, except one time I was being all superwoman in an emergency (boat trailer broke, had to get boat out of water, 30 knot winds, etc.) I had DD nursing in the sling while I was thigh-deep in freezing cold water and some people drove down to the boat launch and just STARED for a while... I didn't care if they were looking at my boob hanging out, but it would have been nice if they'd offered to help. Aside from that, either I'm oblivious or people around here are just ok with it all.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
Hasn't happened yet, and she's nearly 2 1/2. My MIL did ASK how long I was planning to nurse for, and I said "at least til she's 2" but I didn't elaborate - mostly because I had no idea - and it hasn't come up since. I nursed her in front of a whole pile of strangers the other day, even while I had to introduce myself to the group, and nobody batted an eye. Mind you, it was a meeting to set up a cow share agreement, so pretty crunchy crowd. One little boy - maybe about 8 or 9? - stared, but he looked a bit bottle-fed so I figure he was just intrigued by the process.

I should add though that I do get a few "looks" when DD is upset in public and starts screaming "I want BOOBIES!! I WANT BOOBIES!!" She is unfortunately very verbal, and her speech, even in tantrum mode, is sadly quite clear.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
I did have a nursing cover that I used at first because DD was easily put off the whole nursing thing, and I thought it would make it easier for her to nurse. Also it made nursing outside in the bright sun a lot easier on her. When she discovered her hands and started yanking at it while she nursed, I tossed it. It had pretty hideous psychotic-looking sheep on it and I was glad to be rid of it.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I was all for nursing on demand before DD was born, but then when she was really little she'd get too hungry, or something, and if she started fussing for the boob there was about 3 seconds of fuss, then scream scream scream and she would be so upset she wouldn't latch on. So I took her average time between feeds and subtracted half an hour and then fed her then whether she appeared interested or not. The more frequent feeds also helped boost my milk supply, which was woefully inadequate to start thanks to a host of medical problems. However, I think women who schedule their babies' feedings to the point where they ignore them when they are actually hungry must be very disconnected from their own instincts and I don't know how they can do it. How can you not feed a baby when it's hungry???? I have a hard time even when I look after my neighbour's baby and she doesn't leave enough pumped milk - it might only be another 10 or 15 minutes the baby has to wait but I still feel like her cries are ripping out bits of my soul. And that's not even my baby!!! Scheduling like that is just craziness.

[pantufla]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away) I have no idea, I'm usually looking at my baby or entertaining my 3 year-old.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way? The first comment I got was when DS#1 turned one. I think the person in question felt DS was "old enough" not to "need" to nurse. Then I started getting a lot of pressure to wean DS#1 when I announced I was pregnant with DS#2. DS#1 was 19 months old.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not? No, I don't cover with a blanket. I do pull my shirt down to cover my midsection, for the same reason that I don't wear a bikini -- I'm self conscious.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling? I think some mothers feel they have to schedule feedings or the baby will "take over" their life. Or perhaps because they read it was the "right way" to parent. I feel that scheduling can cause low milk supply, lack of attachment, even failure-to-thrive in extreme circumstances.

[Turkish Kate]

I live in Istanbul, Turkiye, so my answers may not be what you're needing for your study. Just wanted to throw them out there anyway, just in case you needed a multicultural aspect.

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

Nursing a baby is very matter-of-fact, no one gives a second thought to it. Nearly every shopping mall or large venue has a "baby room" where women can go to nurse, pump, or change a baby and these are not in the bathrooms (usually). I've never had so much as an awkward glance in the year that I've been NIP in Istanbul.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

DS is 12 1/2 months and I've not had any suggestions that nursing him is no longer appropriate. Our culture is largely Islamic-oriented and the Koran mandates two years of breastfeeding. I think that American culture is so hung up on "independence," even for littles, that the concept of "inter-dependence" is foreign.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

No, I don't. I don't feel the need to, even in a very conservative society. The only women I see here who cover to breastfeed are European or American foreigners.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I think that scheduling *anything* for a baby is foolish and disrepsectful to the baby's needs. Mothers who do so are probably receiving bad advice from healthcare providers, books, or family members. Fortunately, Turks don't schedule *anything* so the idea of scheduling for a baby is laughable.

[tashaharney]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

i've never noticed. my attention is focused on my baby, not what anyone around me is doing.


2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

ds is 22 months and i hear it all the time. folks who knew us started around 12 months. i think it's mostly a cultural thing -- they just didn't know people nursed for longer than a year, and i had to explain that it's totally normal and desireable to nurse for at least two years.


3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
eh, i try to make sure no nipples get flashed, but other than that, no cover. i think covering would give the people around me the idea that its something to be ashamed of. (just my group of family and friends.) by being obvious about what i'm doing, i also make sure that they can get up and leave the room if they're uncomfortable with it.


4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

i think some mothers schedule because they're told that they have to. in this case i think it's sad that they don't have the resources and education that they need. maybe others do it for convenience, and that irks me. babies aren't 'convenient.' they are people with real needs and forcing them to ignore their needs is cruel. but i don't know anyone who schedules their bfing babes, so this is pure speculation on my part, and i hope i haven't offended anyone.

[Lil'M]

Originally Posted by meldess

If you need anthropological sources for your research, anthropologist Ashley Montagu's "Touching" has a great chapter on breastfeeding. There is also a book about the lactation practices of the !Kung-Sun tribe but that's more physical anthro and I can't remember the details. Good luck!

If you haven't already, check out books by anthropologist Kathy Dettwyler. She has a website.

[beru]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

Most people don't notice or ignore me. I don't generally get strong reactions, positive or negative. I once got dirty looks from an older woman.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

12 months. They have strange ideas I don't understand. An MD educated woman I know (she didn't train after she got her degree) said there's no nutrition in human milk after 12 months. I have also heard "the mother is just doing it for herself" and the child will end up "badly behaved" due to overindulgence.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

Sometimes. I cover with a nursing cover when my daughter is distractible. She won't stay latched otherwise. Otherwise, I don't use a nursing cover but I always stay "covered", at least with my own clothing, because I am modest and I don't want to flash people.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?[/QUOTE]

Scheduling newborns is clearly dangerous and those who advocate it just don't understand babies. They have unreasonable expectations of how babies should behave.
After the newborn period, some scheduling can be beneficial and the grey area is when to start and how strict to be. Those who want to be legalistic about it are trying to maintain control of their lives, or make their lives as much like it was pre-baby as possible. This type of scheduling is motivated by self-interest. Those who schedule the baby loosely and flexibly and listen to their babies may do so because some babies thrive on routine and/or the family benefits as a whole from some predictability.

[mommylovesra]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I have had some disgusted looks(mostly from other women which is sad) I have never been hasseled by a man about it, I think they mostly look away. I have to say though I have probably had an equal number of postive comments like "I nursed my baby too isn't it wonderful".

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

I had an Aunt who asked me if wasn't it time to stop that yet? So far she has been the only one dumb enough to suggest such a thing. I think it was common practice to wean by one year when she had her kids.


3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

No, baby and the top of your shirt covers all that is necessary. I have never had an older baby who would tolerate being covered either. If someone thinks a blanket is needed they should use it to cover their own head.


4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I think scheduling is insane. It was one of the things that drove me nuts about the NICU as newborns are not meant to go 3 hours between feedings. For me on demand has always worked best. I think moms get the idea of shedules from unknowing, ill informed medical professionals. We had a mom once when I worked in daycare who insisted on scheduled feedings for her baby who was breastfeed. I think her motivation was so that she had enough milk for the day and that was the only way to stretch it out without supplementing but it was not the best solution as baby would often get upset and wanted to eat sooner than we were allowed to feed him.

[waiting2bemommy]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I have had store employees "suggest" that I use a dressing room....I have had a few older women smile to see me nursing my ds. No one has actually said anything positive to me, but I sometimes get smiles. On the other hand, i haven't had any horrifying experiences either.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

Well, people are already asking me how long I'll continue and my ds is 3.5 months old. My mom weaned me at 1 yr and I think she expects the same from me. My dad has come full circle on the issue and recently told me he thinks I should feed him nothing but bm until he's 5 But honestly it gives most people the heebie-jeebies when they ask how long I plan to do it and I respond with "2 or 3 years."

I believe our highly sexual culture contributes to this. everything is related to sex and therefore we have very specific social mores regarding modesty. Unfortunately this carries over into the nursing relationship and a lot of other areas of normal mother-child interaction like sleeping, bathing, etc. For example, my mom often says that even though nursing is natural, there are perverted men who may get turned on by my nursing ds, or whose interest may be piqued and they might try to harm me or my ds. she claims this is how girls get kidnapped and raped, too...short skirts, low tops, etc.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
No, not usually. Never if I'm out alone or with a friend my age. If I'm with someone else's children and they ask me to, I will out of respect for them as parents. If I'm with my mom or dad and they ask me to, I take into account the situation and decide accordingly. like if we're in a restaurant and they're really uncomfortable, I might. If we're in a department store, I tell my mom she can just go shop while I nurse so she doesn't have to be associated with me.

my ds hates being covered anyway, and I'm pretty good at not flashing the world. His head covers my breast, and the shirt pulled up or unbuttoned from the bottom hides my stretch marks (I'm more worried about those than the nipple, lol) I don't think it should be necessary to cover up, and I swear if anyone ever comes up to me and asks if I have a blanket, I'll pull it out and tell them to cover their head with it. I'm crazy like that.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I was just debating this today with my ds. He feeds on demand (pumped bm while I'm at work) and it's a struggle to produce enough milk to satisfy him that way, since the amount he takes varies widely. I understand the draw of scheduling...predictability, which is really helpful when you woh. But I don't feel like it's the best for the baby. I prefer to eat when I'm hungry and I don't think it should be an different for him at this age. As he gets older and can communicate more that may change. But for the time being, I encourage a routine for him, but not a set schedule.

i think most moms schedule feedings because they're told to. They told me to, in the hospital. At his last appt the doctor told me he should go up to 5 hours between feedings. That almost NEVER happens, & I don't sweat it. If he wants to eat, he must be hungry.