Research paper about nursing and lactivism - Page 2

[Melfo]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I've never had a problem with strangers, but I did have a problem with a friend of my husbands. We were out to dinner with him and his wife (and our daughter) when I needed to nurse DD. Normally I could care less about other people's comfort level with my BFing, but he was hiding behind the menu! It was the only time I felt bad, so I went to the bathroom to "change DD's diaper."

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
MIL has made insinuations about nursing not being appropriate once DD has teeth and is eating solid foods(she made fun of her sister for BFing her son while he was eating a carrot). She probably feels this way because it's the "norm" for "good" moms to BF up to a year.
3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
No. DD has hated being covered up, so I don't.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
If scheduling a feeding works for you than great. I don't schedule DD because that would be more work than just going off of her cues. If I worked from home, I probably would have to schedule her feedings, but since I SAH, I have the freedom to feed her on demand.

[art_teachermommy]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
usually they have no idea that I am even nursing because I don't make a spectcal out of it. The ones that do know I am because my two year old has made the announcment that he wants to nurse the 2nd one...not the first one (referring to which side)...they smile.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
I have only had person...a general doctor tell me that there was really no reason to nurse beause there was no more nutritional value. He was an idiot, so I chose not to comment since I was there for the flu and not his advice on parenting.
Aside from that...my family has been super supportive and proud of my extended breastfeeding.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
I do not cover because there is nothing to cover. My son would hate being covered and there is no point in it.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I think the schedule feedings because they have been given bad advice from a formula driven society. Scheduling feedings has been linked to failure to thrive in newborns.
I feel that you should follow your child's needs and leads and feed on demand.

[miss_sonja]

Originally Posted by anthroamy

Hi Everyone,

I am a UC Berkeley Anthropology student and mom to an exclusively breastfed 6 month old son. As a final project for a class I decided to do a paper on nursing, and would love to gather some opinions from other moms. All information will be used anonymously, and if you don't feel comfortable posting answers here feel free to email me: anthroamy [at] hotmail.com
Any help at all is greatly appreciated!

Originally Posted by anthroamy

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I've mostly gotten smiles or just neutral looks. I got one glare one time when nursing my then-18 month old at Disneyland. I just ignored it.

Originally Posted by anthroamy

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

No one has really, but I tend to surround myself with lactivists and breastfeeding-friendly folks. The one formula feeding mom I'm close to hasn't made any negative comments, but has questioned how long the little one will nurse.

Originally Posted by anthroamy

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

Just enough not to show much breast. More for my physical comfort (coldness) than anything else. I do pull my sweater closer if we're out in public. I'd rather not show a lot of my body to strangers.

Originally Posted by anthroamy

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I personally think most people who schedule do so because they're told that's what they should do by a book or authority figure (mom, doctor, MIL). Some babies, though, prefer a schedule. That's why child-led feeding is best--it meets the actual needs of the actual baby in question rather than the statistical baby or the imaginary baby (i.e. the Pearls and their rigid ideas about feeding).


good luck with your paper!

[jillc512]

1. I would get some smiles, some surprised looks when someone realized what I was doing. I don't think most people noticed.

2. I'm lucky to hang with a pretty bf-friendly group, so the only person who ever said anything was my MIL: when DD was about 2 and asked to nurse, MIL said, "You're not still doing THAT are you?" I said yes, and I never heard another peep out of her, however. Note: I weaned DS at 15m and DD weaned at 2y 3m, so I have never gotten into the upper echelons of extended BF.

3. I did not cover. I felt like it brought more attention to the fact that I was nursing. Plus, my babies would usually pull the blanket off.

4. I think some mothers still think you're supposed to. Even mothers who don't necessarily schedule feedings will refuse to feed a crying baby because "he just ate 30 minutes ago!" My thought is always, "so what?" I am in favor of anything that stops a baby from crying and doesn't require me to get off the sofa . Nursing on demad definitely fits the bill.

[jessjgh1]

Good luck with your paper... I'd love to see what you come up with!
There's also a book by Meredith Small, Our Babies Our Selvesthat comes from a background of an anthropologist. And someone mentioned this website: http://www.kathydettwyler.org/dettwyler.html A good searchable site is also www.kellymom.com for just about everything

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
Usually with either smiles or they don't seem to notice. I've been lucky to have no negative experiences.
2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
No one close suggested, family is supportive.
Many of the people I know as acquaintances or through another mainstream b-board are less supportive. Posts about nursing come up from time to time and some admit that they think it is weird to nurse a 3 year old, but admit that they were much more open to nursing once they were a parent-- ie before they would have though it was weird to nurse beyone a year, 2 years didn't bother them after baby, but 3 was stretching it, 4 or older was approaching uncomfortable for them (this was from both bottle and breastfeeders- and my interepretation of the conversations).
Why this way....
I think that it is just not that common to many. You don't see it and you don't necessarily understand how the nursing relationship matures. That its not as intense at 3 years as at 3 months, 9 months etc. That moms can set limits, negotiate and still do child led / gentle weaning.


3. Do you cover? Why or why not?Sorta. I don't use a blanket, but I'm discreet There are times when I might use a blanket (ie to protect newborn from hot sun), but I'm too clumsy to manage everythign and a blanket.
I just prefer not to bare my skin in general. In winter I hate being exposed because it is cold.


4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
I don't know any people who strictly schedule feedings. I'd say some are more likely to use guidelines given, but still be flexible. I'd have to say that it might be from the advice they are getting from doctors and just in general to compare stages with other parents of similar ages. There's this fear of creating a child that is dependant that seems to be common in our society so when one gets the idea that their child should eat every 4 hours or sleep through the night, instead of following the childs cues parents seem to be suspecting some underlying manipulation by the child. Silly.
I've also heard many people talk about how they had to schedule once the 2nd (or more) child came along. Usually for naps.

I'm to lazy and disorganized to schedule. I don't feel that a schedule is appropriate for a young infant. Later on, routines may certainly be appropriate and helpful-- but I let my son set a general schedule and then developed some rhythms around that-- He ended up very flexible, so when things were 'off schedule' it didn't have a big impact on him. Worked out nicely for us.

With my son, I had had an epidural and he was a very sleepy baby. On the advice of my pedi, because my milk didn't come in for a few days and he was losing weight, I was told to supplement and feed him as often as I could (evry 2 hours day/ and 4-5 horus night). That is advice that I wish I hadn't followed, and indeed, I was devastated to have to supplement, but scared about the weight loss. It seems my pedi was being very conservative and it did make the early weeks even more difficult to deal with a 'schedule', but I did have a good LC who also wanted me to wake him up--- although probably that was more from the sleepy baby/epidural issues than from weight loss. It just added more worry, concern to a time that felt very overwhelming to me. We had months of nursing issues too, whether from the epidural, bottles he was given, small mouth, or a combo of things, I'll never know, but it was hard.

Hope that is helpful.

Jessica

[jessjgh1]

Originally Posted by meldess

Hi! I'm also an Anthropology student and am in the process of writing an ethnography on natural birth.

That sounds very interesting too!

Jessica

[kimbersdawnly]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
This is a really mixed bag for me. I get smiles, I have people come up and rub babies head while she's latched on (DD is 10 1/2 months now), I get a LOT of interest from other little ones and grade school kids who usually stare wide eyed or ask questions, but I also encounter a good share of people who give me wide berth, avoid eye contact, look away, walk faster past me, etc. I don't think there are as many negative as positive reactions, but I consistently get both. I've also had both positive and negative comments. On the down side, I've been refused service at a restaurant and been berated and told to cover up on the city bus by the driver.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?
My pediatrician started asking questions around 18 months, my midwife gave me the "Are you thinking about weaning?" at two years, other than that, all my negative NIP experiences were actually before my son was a year old. I think that there just isn't a good model in the US for what a breastfeeding should optimally look like - I mean it was a big deal that the AAP FINALLY recommended breastfeeding to atleast a year - the US is just totally out of touch, and the US medical community is, I think, accustomed to being considered way ahead of the rest of the world because of good technology and education. Docs don't want to hear that trusting nature is better than any technology - it's out of their element. They want things they can quantify and evaluate and judge, not "as long as is mutually desirable." Sorry, I'm rambling...

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?
No way, no how. Never, never, never. It's impractical (I'm really large breasted, even before the milk comes, and there's a lot of coordinating and supporting going on for is to latch and I have to hold my breast through the entire nursing session or I end up in PAIN), and neither of mine have ever wanted anything over their heads (they get frustrated if my shirt slips down), and I'm not about to make myself or my child uncomfortable for someone else's sake - especially since I think it's important that people see breastfeeding. It needs to be normal.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?
The only reason I can think of is that they've been given bad advice. If I had tried to schedule feedings, I would have gone insane by now. Both of my children have had very different needs as far as frequency and duration of feedings and I think there are really good reasons for that. I mean think of the number of things that just effect how much a child needs/gets at each feeding, like maternal diet, efficiency of the nursling, effectiveness of their suck, maternal stress level possibly slowing let down, Mom's usual personal ease of let down, the nursling having a growth spurt, the weather (heat dehydrates us more quickly possibly creating a higher need for just the fore milk), the nursling's personal metabolism, and I'm sure there are tons of other things I can't even think of, and they all alter the necessary frequency of feedings as well as how much baby gets at each feeding. Any artificial schedule slapped on top of a breastfeeding relationship can only teach mom and baby that they can't trust each other or their bodies. It ignores their relationship, ignores the fact that infants need comfort as well as food at the breast, and eradicates the infant's integrity as a human being capable of experiencing and communicating something as basic as hunger. Yeah - I guess I'm pretty baldly against it.

[BlissfulMommy]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

Most people don't notice but some look away


2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

Haven't gotten to that point yet. My baby is 9 mon


3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

Not really. I don't worry too much about flashing nipples when DD latches on and pops off. Once she's on I cover most of my breast with my shirt. I'm proud of NIP and don't try to hide but I like to be somewhat discrete about it. Here's why:

In my pre-baby/pre-pregnancy days I had a co-worker who's toddler often visited her at work where she would nurse him openly with her entire breast exposed. I had no problem with it at all and was actually quite impressed. However, what I didn't like was the negative reactions from others and nasty comments she got behind her back. I started to worry about what I would do when I had a baby and needed to feed her in public. I guess I was under the impression that having the whole breast out was the only way to nurse. I don't want to create the same anxiety or negative feelings towards NIP for other future mothers. I plan on continuing to NIP the way I have been when my child is well into toddlerhood though.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I think some mothers are following advise they've read or been given. Others might be the type of people who like have their lives scheduled and don't see why that has to change when a baby arrives. I think scheduled feeding is ridiculous. Babies need to nurse when they need to nurse and nobody can schedule that.

[mamajake]

Not sure whether you want responses from folks who are no longer nursing. My last child weaned fove years ago but I nursed for 8.5 years so perhaps this will be useful.

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

Both. The only times anyone commented, they were positive comments. I honestly wouldn't have noticed most responses though on one occasion a friend said, "can you believe she is giving you that dirty look?" about someone in a mall and I hadn't even noticed.


2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate?

As each of my three sons approached a year. But no one ever took a strong position - it was mostly "so how long are you going to do that?"


What do you think made them feel that way?

Ignorance concerning the benefits of breastfeeding and their own individual experiences with societal norms. I think a few times people were concerned with the burden extended breastfeeding imposed on me, particlularly when I was pregnant or tandem nursing. I don't really recall anyone expressing strong negative feelings about extended breastfeeding (at least not to my face).



3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

In the first month of breastfeeding my first son, I tried to cover and had a sort of drape with a velcro attachment around my neck. I think I used it twice before it was clearly unworkable. It fell off and my son obviously hated it. Until my first son was perhaps six months old, I used to try to nurse in more isolated sections of space or with my back to people. In the subsequent eight years, I never covered. It was clearly uncomfortable for my sons, lots of trouble for me, and didn't seem to change how people reacted to me. Also, as I became comfortable with spending so much time with a child on my breast, it was as natural as walking and talking so covering just made no sense to me. Also I started spending more time with attachment parenting moms so I simply stopped thinking about it as something to even try to do.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I guess because so many baby books say one should. I vaguely recall thinking I was supposed to but once I lived the reality of exclusively breastfeeding which always involved nursing on demand, it wasn't even on my radar as something breastfeeding women could do. Actually, even your question took me by surprise since I think of scheduled feeding as a formula feeding thing. In the breastfeeding context, I only think of scheduling if someone needs to increase the number of feedings and need to use the clock to make sure they do enough feedings. So for breastfeeding, scheduling may be necessary if someone needs to increase supply. I guess scheduling may be necessary for moms who need to be separated from their breastfeeding children. Otherwise, I don't really get it.

[donutmolly]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I have had a huge mix of responses -- from the dirty looks to the big smiles and positive comments. I have never had anyone come up to me and say anything negative. Mostly, I do not think people know that I am nursing.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

Again, a variety of responses -- from my in-laws at about 6 months, all the way to my mother who thinks it's fabulous I am nursing my almost-3-year-old. I think people's "age-limit" has to do with their personal experience, and the culture that surrounds them. People who never breastfed (or whose children were not breastfed) have been the ones who suggested I should stop a long time ago; while those that experienced breastfeeding tend to be less convinced of a right time to wean. Also, I have had several educated health professionals tell me they didn't know it was possible to nurse through a pregnancy (which I did!) and many, many more people tell me they didn't know one could get pregnant while breastfeeding. Pregnancy seems to be a very cultural line for weaning.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

No, I never cover. I did briefly "cover" when I thought it might help my distractible baby nurse better in interesting situations. Didn't last long. I specifically don't cover because I think it's important to promote breastfeeding as a normal human activity. I think that comfortably nursing my baby anywhere I happen to be is the most effective lactivism that I can do -- so yes, it is an agenda for me. I think that in our culture covering denotes that something secret or innapropriate is being done -- and breastfeeding is neither. However, I am all for other people covering if that helps them feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. I should also note that I am what the media would call "modest" -- I doubt that any part of my breast is visible during breastfeeding -- I do specifically arrange my shirt to cover the part of my breast baby is not latched to.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I think that scheduling is a cultural phenomenon promoted in previous generations by "child-rearing experts" and is based upon a false idea that babies want to control and manipulate their mothers. Although the party-line is now "demand-feeding", breastfeeding liturature commonly cites feedings every 2-3 hours. I think this is a disservice to nursing mothers who are given perhaps scientifical averages, but do not have an average baby. My first DD nursed approximately every 45 minutes, my second DD is one of those babies who could have adapted fine to the 4 hour schedules of yesteryear. But expecting every 2-3 hours for either might have seriously undermined my confidence in my ability to produce milk for my child and led to supplementing and premature weaning.

I currently am tandem-nursing a 34-month-old DD and a 4-month-old DD. Someone said to me today: "you must really like breastfeeding". (A subtle way to suggest I should really wean the almost 3 year old because I'm nursing her to fulfill my own needs???) My response: "I am committed to breastfeeding because I know it is the best for my children."

[Cyann]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

I'm not sure usually. I'm a little self-conscious and tend to just look at my son or at the people I'm out with, rather than looking at the strangers who might be around. I was on a plane once next to a man who never glanced my way the entire flight -- that was about the "worst". I've also had a couple of nice comments.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

No one's said anything overt yet, but I've had a few double-takes and "why?" or "really?" sort of reactions when I mention I'm still nursing. (My son's 16 months.) I wouldn't care to speculate why people think what they think.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

No, because it's a pain, doesn't work well, and the extra privacy (such as it is) is not worth the extra effort.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

Because it makes them feel more in control of their life, I guess. Or because they think it's what they're supposed to do (encouraged by family members or medical providers). I think it's a bad idea in general to leave an infant's needs unmet for the sake of a schedule, and especially bad for breastfeeders due to supply/demand issues.

[siobhang]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away) well, I stopped nursing ds2 in public (we still nurse 2-3 times at home) when he hit about 18 months old, so I will answer in the past tense. Generally people ignored me - I tend to be pretty good at nursing without anyone noticing.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way? heh, well, since I made it perfectly clear from early on that I felt a minimum for me was 2 yeas, most of my friends and family have kept their mouths shut if they disagreed.

However, from other mom friends in the neighborhood, there are very few moms still nursing past a year. If you do nurse that long, it is considered a BIG DEAL (and kinda weird). I have heard moms congratulate themselves (and brag to others) about nursing for 6 months. 4 months or so is pretty common.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not? If you mean covering with a blanket, rarely. I do pull my shirt down so that you cannot see too much flesh. I find covering with a blanket to be more noticable and often more trouble than it is worth

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling? For the same reason some moms exclusively pump when they have no latch issues - they want to feel control over the breastfeeding situation. Breastfeeding is a different type of interaction with a child than we are used to (hard to measure, hard to gauge in immediate terms if it is working, lots of trusting of instincts). And I think many moms also are overwhelmed with the new baby and need to feel like they know what is coming next and that they are doing what needs to be done, so a feeding/nap schedule helps.

Me, I am not a big schedule person - I prefer general frameworks where the actual hours don't matter and you can rearrange things as needed. And of course, nursing on demand is the best way to go.

[mommyddeville]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)
I don't nurse in public much right now. My youngest nursling is 18 months, and has better things to do when we're around other people. If she does get tired or hurt, and needs to nurse, most people are ok with it. They don't look, but they don't ask me to cover, or anything.

When I have a newborn, I nurse in public constantly. Most people are more friendly toward me feeding a younger nursling than toward a 'big kid.'


2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

When my first child was a year old, I started getting comments. Now, people just know I'm a crazy nursing hippie, so they don't make any comments. Really, I think people are uncomfortable with extended nursing because it's not the norm here in the US.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

I don't cover because I feel like it draws more attention to me and my baby than just being discrete. I don't try to be obnoxious or show my entire chest to the world.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

I think moms schedule feedings because that's what they're told to do by the hospital or an expert from some book. They don't trust their babies and themselves enough to feed on demand. Once they mature as mothers, I think fewer people schedule feedings.

[aprilv]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away)

most people seem not to notice. those who do seem to look away as if embarassed.

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way?

i got a few comments between 12 and 15 months from family members. i think they were uncomfortable with my nursing a toddler because they aren't used to hearing about it and because if they did nurse it wasn't even for a year. i do think there is also some guilt there- perhaps they wish they had nursed their babies, or for longer.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not?

i dress in a manner that makes nursing discrete. i wear a tank top under my shirt so that when i pull the shirt up and the tank top down over my breast there is only a small opening for the nipple. other than this, i don't use a cover. even though i do feel uncomfortable sometimes, i think it's very important to normalize nursing and not make it seem like i am trying to hide.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling?

i think some mothers might because the 'experts' say you should. i am sure they think it is in the best interest for their baby in the long run.
i have never tried to schedule nursing, nor would i. my baby wouldn't do well on a schedule for nursing. he likes to eat sporatically and this was even more true when he was ebf. my mom did try to convince me to make him go longer in between feedings by distracting him. after a few days of that, i realized it was silly. if he wanted to nurse and i was fine doing it, why try to make him wait?

[JessBB]

1. How do people react to you when you nurse in public? (e.g. smile, look away) I mostly have observed no reaction whatsoever, however once or twice I've gotten smiles and I am fairly sure I've gotten some sideways glances that were less than friendly. One thing, when I would frequently nurse my son on the Metro in Washington, D.C., nobody would ever sit next to us - no matter how crowded the train!

2. At what age did people begin to suggest that nursing your child/children was no longer appropriate? What do you think made them feel that way? I have yet to have anyone say directly that I should wean - my child is 14 months old - but both my mother and my MIL frequently ask if I am still nursing. I think they are both lack much exposure to children nursing past age one, so they're in uncharted territory, but for the most part remain supportive.

3. Do you cover? Why or why not? I generally do not cover as I feel no need to. I am cognizant of others, however and I try to be considerate. Once an airline employee asked me to use a blanket while nursing my son on an airplane, my baby was about 4 months old at the time. The reason she asked was that there was an unaccompanied ten-year-old boy sitting next to us and I think she wanted to avoid any issues with his parents - which I totally understood and she was very nice about it, so I was happy to oblige.

4. Why do you think some mothers schedule feedings? How do you feel about scheduling? I think some mothers schedule feedings because we are societally conditioned to resist being "controlled" by our babies - that we must bend infants to our will as early as possible lest they control us. My child does have a schedule now (14 months) but I nursed on demand until around 10 - 11 months and even now do not ever deny him, he just has a routine of nursing at certain times of the day.