This is kind of a long story and I don't know where else to post this.
I had my second baby 5 months ago and it was an awesome childbirth. I had a great OB, a perfect induction and hospital experience. I didn't have an epidural or anything, just a little pitocin (literally less then an hour) and we used another drug to actually induce labor that was easy. By day 2 I felt like a million buck!! for the three weeks after my son was born I felt better than I had in years, better then I had since before ds #1 was born. I had GD during my pregnancy so I gained very little weight, I got into my jeans quickly and my baby is amazing!! So different than #1, not to say he's not amazing too but he is a lot more needy and very closed off in a lot of way. Since starting Lexapro 3 weeks ago I realize that a lot of that was me, not only him, although my husband sees ds's personality the same way I do. I was unable to breastfeed with ds 1 and that was a lot of strain, and even though it was a birth center birth, I now see that there was a lot of PTS involved especially when the only support I felt about formula feeding was from our pediatrician, my mom and my husband. I had a lot of guilt. This time I breast fed while in the hospital but still have supply problems and just decided not to waste my energy on something we already found didn't work. I felt so fabulous! 3 weeks post partum my hormones changed, I got pms, I got a period a week later and things just got worse from there with lack of sleep and hormones. I went in 9 weeks post partum to have my tubes tied, thermal ablation and bladder suspension. Within a week of that my hormones were working overtime. My ovaries were just pumping non stop and my breasts were just killing me most of the time. I was emotional and sad. My mom had come to take care of the boys and it was a disaster. I had several follow up visits with my obgyn from surgery and i kept telling him I still felt pregnant, nausious, I often feel like I'm in labor after having an orgasm. Literally, last week, I had an orgasm. cramped up, fell asleep, woke up 3 hours later still cramped up.
5 weeks ago I noticed a large lump in my breast. I worked it for a few minutes and expressed a thick, yellow/green substance. I then noticed I was lactating again. So, I made an appointment to see the ob again. I had thought that maybe the lumps were from a blocked milk duck because they really hurt but I never expressed more then a few drops from that breast and really, the hormone rushes from doing it were making me really, really sick. I would sit and just feel the hormones come over my body, my breasts would hurt, I'd get a headache, a bad taste in my mouth, even my teeth would hurt. My ovaries would pulse and I'd get nausious. The OB send me for a mammogram, I was cancer free and actually, it took 10 days from the appointment with my OB till the mammogram and by then the lumps had shrunk. I had my pitocin levels tested and they were fine as well. I just still felt so off.
I never actually heard anything my from my OB and I had to call to get the results from my pitocin bloodtest. THe med tech just said they were normal and that was it. I was having a bad day that day and my hormones were crazy. I hadn't eaten anything and I see now that I was using food as a drug to level things out so that day was really, really bad. My period also came 5 days early so I was getting ready to just blow that day too. Well, I called the doctor's office back that afternoon to talk with the med tech to ask the doctor what to do next. The receptionist (I guess, she was the one answering the phone that day, they usually have another wonderful woman answering the phone so they may have jut been short staffed that day) decided she was going to help me instead. She called me back and said the doctor wanted me to have a consult with a surgeon about the nodes in my breast. I told her the mammogram was fine and that was not an issue. I had called about the pitocin levels and the fact I was still lactating and felt pregnant. She called back and said that I needed to make sure I didn't do anything to stimulate my breasts, not use a warm waterbed etc... I thought this was really stupid. I then said but what about these hormone rushes and feeling pregnant etc.... She then called back and said that the doctor wanted her to call me in a perscription to lexapro. I didn't know anything about this and by this time I was about to explode. She tried to expain it to me but I don't really think she was qualified and I really want to think about what I take because I have kids to take care of and I need to think about side effects. I just didn't know what to do. She actually said, well, the doctor said if there is anything else you will need to see your primary care physician. She said she would note in my chart that I declined the lexapro. I couldn't believe it, after the first call when I questioned her answer she actually said "I was the person you spoke with before and thats not what you said." She made me feel totally wrong and stupid and she was treating me like I was calling about a past due credit card and not my health. So, I asked if she could just have the doctor call me back and she was like "we'll see." He called me back and he's really nice and I like him a lot and he's calm and laid back (I would feel like I was being managed if I didn't know this is his personality) he explained the lexapro to me and that many people take it this time post partum and to just try it for 30 days, most people take it for a few months and then just as needed. He said what I considered to be hormone rushes was anxiety and the lexapro would help.
After this call I just had a mental breakdown!! I did end up writing a letter to the doctor about how the receptionist treated me and how upset I was when I had made the same complaint several times during office visits just to make it seem like he wasn't listening and that upset me that I was just diagnosed over the phone as needing lexapro without him even talking to me. But I did concede that my life was very stressfull and he was probably right. I was just really pissed by this treatment. I had sent him a thank you letter weeks earlier to thank him for the great birthing experience and how great his office staff was and how attentive he was. We had really clicked.
Well, it turns out the lexapro was really wayyyyyy overdue and has made all the difference in the world but the hormone rushes are still there but I'm just more able to recognize them and see clearly. Yesterday was perfect. I was crafting with my son, something I would have never had the patience to do before and all was well. This morning it's like PMS hormones have kicked him and I feel powerless. It is like anxiety in a lot of ways but I know it's hormones. Literally, this month I was a mess for 24 hours when I ovulated. Then it lifted and I was fine. Now, its back again and I don't know how long it will last.
Am I nuts??? What should I do? I'm almost afriad to call my doctor's office again. I'm keeping a journal and figure I should probably go through this cycle and another one just to have the lexapro take full effect and let my hormones level out a bit or see if they do. It still seems like something I should see my gyn about or should I find a primary care pysician and perhaps treat it differently?
I don't know. Any thoughts? Thanks for listening.
Vic:-)
I had my second baby 5 months ago and it was an awesome childbirth. I had a great OB, a perfect induction and hospital experience. I didn't have an epidural or anything, just a little pitocin (literally less then an hour) and we used another drug to actually induce labor that was easy. By day 2 I felt like a million buck!! for the three weeks after my son was born I felt better than I had in years, better then I had since before ds #1 was born. I had GD during my pregnancy so I gained very little weight, I got into my jeans quickly and my baby is amazing!! So different than #1, not to say he's not amazing too but he is a lot more needy and very closed off in a lot of way. Since starting Lexapro 3 weeks ago I realize that a lot of that was me, not only him, although my husband sees ds's personality the same way I do. I was unable to breastfeed with ds 1 and that was a lot of strain, and even though it was a birth center birth, I now see that there was a lot of PTS involved especially when the only support I felt about formula feeding was from our pediatrician, my mom and my husband. I had a lot of guilt. This time I breast fed while in the hospital but still have supply problems and just decided not to waste my energy on something we already found didn't work. I felt so fabulous! 3 weeks post partum my hormones changed, I got pms, I got a period a week later and things just got worse from there with lack of sleep and hormones. I went in 9 weeks post partum to have my tubes tied, thermal ablation and bladder suspension. Within a week of that my hormones were working overtime. My ovaries were just pumping non stop and my breasts were just killing me most of the time. I was emotional and sad. My mom had come to take care of the boys and it was a disaster. I had several follow up visits with my obgyn from surgery and i kept telling him I still felt pregnant, nausious, I often feel like I'm in labor after having an orgasm. Literally, last week, I had an orgasm. cramped up, fell asleep, woke up 3 hours later still cramped up.
5 weeks ago I noticed a large lump in my breast. I worked it for a few minutes and expressed a thick, yellow/green substance. I then noticed I was lactating again. So, I made an appointment to see the ob again. I had thought that maybe the lumps were from a blocked milk duck because they really hurt but I never expressed more then a few drops from that breast and really, the hormone rushes from doing it were making me really, really sick. I would sit and just feel the hormones come over my body, my breasts would hurt, I'd get a headache, a bad taste in my mouth, even my teeth would hurt. My ovaries would pulse and I'd get nausious. The OB send me for a mammogram, I was cancer free and actually, it took 10 days from the appointment with my OB till the mammogram and by then the lumps had shrunk. I had my pitocin levels tested and they were fine as well. I just still felt so off.
I never actually heard anything my from my OB and I had to call to get the results from my pitocin bloodtest. THe med tech just said they were normal and that was it. I was having a bad day that day and my hormones were crazy. I hadn't eaten anything and I see now that I was using food as a drug to level things out so that day was really, really bad. My period also came 5 days early so I was getting ready to just blow that day too. Well, I called the doctor's office back that afternoon to talk with the med tech to ask the doctor what to do next. The receptionist (I guess, she was the one answering the phone that day, they usually have another wonderful woman answering the phone so they may have jut been short staffed that day) decided she was going to help me instead. She called me back and said the doctor wanted me to have a consult with a surgeon about the nodes in my breast. I told her the mammogram was fine and that was not an issue. I had called about the pitocin levels and the fact I was still lactating and felt pregnant. She called back and said that I needed to make sure I didn't do anything to stimulate my breasts, not use a warm waterbed etc... I thought this was really stupid. I then said but what about these hormone rushes and feeling pregnant etc.... She then called back and said that the doctor wanted her to call me in a perscription to lexapro. I didn't know anything about this and by this time I was about to explode. She tried to expain it to me but I don't really think she was qualified and I really want to think about what I take because I have kids to take care of and I need to think about side effects. I just didn't know what to do. She actually said, well, the doctor said if there is anything else you will need to see your primary care physician. She said she would note in my chart that I declined the lexapro. I couldn't believe it, after the first call when I questioned her answer she actually said "I was the person you spoke with before and thats not what you said." She made me feel totally wrong and stupid and she was treating me like I was calling about a past due credit card and not my health. So, I asked if she could just have the doctor call me back and she was like "we'll see." He called me back and he's really nice and I like him a lot and he's calm and laid back (I would feel like I was being managed if I didn't know this is his personality) he explained the lexapro to me and that many people take it this time post partum and to just try it for 30 days, most people take it for a few months and then just as needed. He said what I considered to be hormone rushes was anxiety and the lexapro would help.
After this call I just had a mental breakdown!! I did end up writing a letter to the doctor about how the receptionist treated me and how upset I was when I had made the same complaint several times during office visits just to make it seem like he wasn't listening and that upset me that I was just diagnosed over the phone as needing lexapro without him even talking to me. But I did concede that my life was very stressfull and he was probably right. I was just really pissed by this treatment. I had sent him a thank you letter weeks earlier to thank him for the great birthing experience and how great his office staff was and how attentive he was. We had really clicked.
Well, it turns out the lexapro was really wayyyyyy overdue and has made all the difference in the world but the hormone rushes are still there but I'm just more able to recognize them and see clearly. Yesterday was perfect. I was crafting with my son, something I would have never had the patience to do before and all was well. This morning it's like PMS hormones have kicked him and I feel powerless. It is like anxiety in a lot of ways but I know it's hormones. Literally, this month I was a mess for 24 hours when I ovulated. Then it lifted and I was fine. Now, its back again and I don't know how long it will last.
Am I nuts??? What should I do? I'm almost afriad to call my doctor's office again. I'm keeping a journal and figure I should probably go through this cycle and another one just to have the lexapro take full effect and let my hormones level out a bit or see if they do. It still seems like something I should see my gyn about or should I find a primary care pysician and perhaps treat it differently?
I don't know. Any thoughts? Thanks for listening.
Vic:-)
