What would you find encouraging when NIP?

[SophieAnn]

A discussion in anther topic has prompted my interest in this.

Generally when I see someone nursing in public (if I even notice), I just carry on as normal - just as if I noticed someone sipping a coffee.

I would like to do or say something encouraging (if that would be well received), but I have no idea what to do and at the same time I feel like - she's a total stranger so I should just mind my own business.

Nursing mamas - what would you find encouraging - coming from a total stranger out in public?

A smile? Nothing at all - i.e. carry on as normal? A kind comment?

If you appreciate a kind/encouraging comment - what specifically could I/we say? Or, what are some comments you've received that you appreciated?

[Tine]

Carrying on as normal is my preferred reaction from others when I NIP. Because, you know...that's the way it should be, right?

I imagine support/encouragement/compliments are nice too, but I wouldn't know. Never get 'em. I live in a pretty BF-friendly area, and I think that in the places where I NIP, BF is so ordinary that calling attention to it just doesn't occur to people.

[diamond lil]

If I see a mama NIP, I always give her an encouraging smile. Sometimes it's all you need to brighten up your day anyway! I refrain from making any comments because it should be a totally natural thing as pps have said, but I figure a smile couldn't hurt!

[pantufla]

A nice smile.

[wednesday]

A smile is fine, but personally I would find any kind of "way to go" verbalizing kind of intrusive. A conversation that arises naturally is one thing, but initiated for the purpose of telling me I'm doing a good job? Would annoy me.

[ErinsJuneBug]

granted i WAS at a nurse in. But as i was nursing DD a woman came up to me, handed me a card, and walked away. I wish i still had the card but it said something like: Thank you for nursing in public, breastfeeding is normal and natural etc....

It made me really happy (especially since she was almost 2 at the time!)

[rere]

Well,I don't know about in the situation with strangers.No one ever said anything to me but the first time I was at my aunt's after my daughter was born was for a big party.We walked in the door and as my aunt was taking our coats she told me to make myself comfortable wherever I wanted to feed my daughter.If that was in her bedroom with the door closed or if I wanted her to get a chair and put it in the middle of the room.And if anyone has a problem they can leave.Whatever made us comfortable.I don't think anyone there had any issues with me breastfeeding but it was just nice to know that as far as the host was concerned my daughter's needs came before other's comfort levels.It was very welcoming to know she didn't expect us to remove ourselves from the party.

[justJen]

I struggle with this, too. Because for all it *should* be normal and accepted, we're really not there yet, culturally. One approach I've used is to give the mom a business card with the state's bf law and say a quick "thanks for breastfeeding in public; if anyone hassles you, this is the law protecting your right to breastfeed." I don't want to be intrusive, but I want to be more clearly "yay for breastfeeding" than just a smile, kwim? I've only gotten positive responses, and sometimes we get to chatting further. Last week a mom told me she'd just been looking online a couple days before for MD's law and had been meaning to print it out, so I'd saved her the trouble.

[KnitLady]

I prefer people to either continue on as normal or to give me an "Awww! So sweet!" smile. Thankfully, I've never actually gotten anything other than that!

I'd be open to another mama saying something positive to me, but in general, I'd like to just be treated no different than if I were reading a book, or doing any other totally normal thing.

[KnitLady]

Actually, thinking about it, the book analogy is perfect. If I'm reading a book, I'd prefer to be left alone, but I wouldn't mind if someone came up to me and said something along the lines of, "I'm reading that book too! Isn't it great?"

[Lunaria]

When ds was still pretty new, I was breastfeeding him at the health unit after weighing him and an older lady came up to me and said 'wow it sure is nice to see someone feeding their baby so naturally and comfortably.' She was referring I think to that fact that he was latched on and I had no cover up or pillow. Just my baby and my breast. It was one of my first nips with him and it really made me feel good

Jenny

[KristyDi]

I haven't NIP'd yet. My DD is only 3 wks old. But it's something I'm worried about. I'm a pretty modest person. On top of that, I'm really non-confrontational and hate being the center of attention.

I have nursed in front of my family and then at a friend's house last night, but only in front of my female friend and her kids. My husband and hers were downstairs and unlikely to come up. I like to think I'm working my way up to NIP.

I think at this point, when I finally do get the courage and opportunity to NIP almost anything someone did to encourage me or show approval would be a comfort. A smile, an encouraging word, all would be welcome to me.

[art_teachermommy]

I would enjoy a nice smile or just for them to go on about their business...which is what I do when I see someone. Inside I'm actually jumping up and down excited to see a woman nursing in public...but I always just offer an encouraging happy smile and go on.

[ramama]

A smile or a thumbs-up would be great for me. Although I'm pretty well-established in the NIP arena and don't really need encouragement, it would be nice to even be looked at while nursing. Nothing's worse than being in a crowded room where no one will even look at you because you're nursing, you know? Like if someone wants to know where I got my DDs shoes, I would like them to ask whether I'm nursing or not. Does that make sense? Just treated like a normal person with normal interaction whether I'm nursing or not.

Once in the airport I was very pregnant with my second and nursing my toddler, and this woman made a bee-line for me. And I brace myself for this woman bull-rushing me, trying to think of a comeback for what I'm sure is going to be criticism. Well, she ran up to me and very forcefully said "Way to go! It's nice to see someone nursing and older child and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!" It was really nice, and I appreciated it. I don't need it, but I do appreciate it.

Personally, I never know what to do when I see a mother struggling to cover up while NIP. I don't know if she's embarrassed and could use some acknowledgment/encouragement (one study I read suggests that a leading cause of early BF cessation is reluctance to NIP) or if she's simply modest and just feels more comfortable covering up. I usually just keep my mouth shut. Or just start openly nursing my toddler who always wants to nurse.

[butterfly_mommy]

I like the smile and the "right on" nod We need to develop a salutation like VW drivers have, when they pass each other they give a V with their fingers (the peace sign)

[CAndMe]

I've always wondered what nursin' mamas think is appropriate. I usually smile or occasionally say 'Thanks!'. If it is a toddler I will give a big 'ole because I realize that in our society that takes some guts. And ITA that there needs to be a pro-bf hand symbol!

[AAK]

I usually just do the smile thing. But once I was at the pool and saw someone nursing a toddler. . . I just had to talk to her! So, I said that it was so nice to see someone else nursing a tot too. I think it helped her feel a little more comfortable, she had seemed agitated before like she was hoping he wouldn't ask yet.

Regarding the people who have yet to experience NIP yet, the best advice I can think of is BE CONFIDENT. I haven't gotten any comments since my attitude took a confident turn. I am modest but not THAT modest either. I make an effort but will not use a blanket or other cover up.

Amy

[butterfly_mommy]

?

[kimbersdawnly]

I'm a seasoned NIPer now, but even I do occasionally like to feel reassured and am grateful for positive comments. I had some really bad experiences in the beginning with NIP (almost kicked off the city bus, and asked to leave a restaurant owned by a friend!) and anything to help balance them out with positive ones is wonderful and welcome.

A couple of months ago I was nursing my daughter in the viewing room at the public pool (it's an indoor pool) and an old man came through on his way out. He looked at me sideways for a minute like he couldn't decide if he should be looking or not, started to hobble away, then turned back and said, "you're doing the best thing in the world for your baby. You couldn't do anything more important for her than that right there, and don't let anybody tell you different!" Obviously I already knew I was doing my best for Madeline, but it still made my day. It was so cute; that little old man gathering up his courage to talk to me. Breastfeeding was obviously pretty important to him, and that alone was enough to make me smile.

[newmama8824]

I agree, a friendly smile should say it all.