Please help me compose a letter to midwives!

[1babysmom]

Well, here's a little bit of insight into my situation, from my DDC:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=875294

Basically I need some help (partially because of preggo brain, but also because I just want some ideas on what/how to ask) writing to my current midwife and some others. While I'm hoping (PRAYING!!) to UC, my DH is more comfortable with a midwife, at least having one who's available to come if we decide to call her. My current MW is supportive of my UC hopes, and is giving us a GREAT deal overall. However, she doesn't seem to thrilled to travel the extra hour to our house when I move, even though I'll be 36 weeks so there's not much time left to have to anyway (although I don't blame her, especially with gas prices).

So, for #1, I need help writing her an email that basically asks if she'd prefer we find someone else...OR, should I just tell her we're GOING to (although if I did that I'd just say I HAVE found someone else) find someone else so she doesn't have to worry about it?

2nd, I need help writing a general email that I can send to several other midwives in the area (there are very few that do homebirths- a few DEM's, a couple CPM's- expensive, though!- and they all live in this area or where my original MW is from, so EVERYONE would have to drive 1-2 hours!) asking them (without saying my specific situation) how they feel about taking someone this late in the game, if they're willing to travel to where I'm at, and if they'd give me some sort of BIG discount off their total fees considering I'm only going to need them for maybe a month. Should I mention that I'd like to keep my UC options open? That's how I did it initially, when I contacted 2 DEM's (the only ones we can afford around here!) I just told them that while I don't have specific plans, I AM comfortable with UC'ing and would like to keep that option open (because I'd want a MW who was supportive of that). Or should I just not mention it and have an "oops" UC if it works out?

Any other advice is appreciated, as well! I've casually mentioned UP'ing to DH over the past couple days and he hasn't freaked out or anything, but for now I'd like to at least send out some emails and see what kind of responses we get, and we'll go from there.

[janasmama]

Personally, I would stay with the current midwife because you have already built a relationship with her and she said she would drive there. Women tend to birth better with people they know and I am strongly for homebirth over UC'ing because most midwives will be very handsoff and basically allow a UC while they are there but you still have the knowledge/experience of numerous repeated births bottled up with the midwife in the house with you. She may make a decision to transport 15 min. earlier than you would and that can make a big difference.

If you do decide to go with another midwife they would probably still take you since you are around 30 weeks but obviously that is a personal choice of theirs.

As for writing a general letter...I wouldn't. I would just call each one because shouldn't you get a feel for them before you even want an answer of whether they would attend you or not?

[1babysmom]

Originally Posted by janasmama

Personally, I would stay with the current midwife because you have already built a relationship with her and she said she would drive there. Women tend to birth better with people they know and I am strongly for homebirth over UC'ing because most midwives will be very handsoff and basically allow a UC while they are there but you still have the knowledge/experience of numerous repeated births bottled up with the midwife in the house with you. She may make a decision to transport 15 min. earlier than you would and that can make a big difference.

If you do decide to go with another midwife they would probably still take you since you are around 30 weeks but obviously that is a personal choice of theirs.

As for writing a general letter...I wouldn't. I would just call each one because shouldn't you get a feel for them before you even want an answer of whether they would attend you or not?

Well, I'm a total introvert so emailing is much easier for me initially. I actually sent an email a bit earlier tonight instead of waiting longer. It's really general, basically saying *if* I happen to switch, would they take me, what would they charge at this point, etc.

We're really planning on UC'ing anyway (my current MW said she planned on us having one unless we decide we want her there) but she'd have to come out for at least one appointment prior AND the PP appointment. It's just difficult for me to feel like I'm a nuisance now that we'll be further away, KWIM? As for the relationship, I've only seen her 3 times anyway, and we have nothing special, that's for sure.

[Treeof3]

I'd keep her. Its a PITA to fish for someone new IMO, esp if you are an introvert. Plus you KNOW that your current mw will be fine with UC from actual face to faces with her. You may not be that assured with a new mw no matter what they "say" they are ok with. It IS not too many more visits. Perhaps even for the pp you could meet in the middle somewhere? The pp is more so just for chat of a check up anyways (unless you are talking about the 6 wk pp exam - wait do you mean for the newborn exam and placenta expulsion??). She can check baby over, talk to you about your bleeding, nursing, etc over lunch or at the mall or something. And bc you may not actually call her out for the birth itself, that is actually a whole trip you are saving her anyways. Or offer to split gas with her or something - esp if the other mws you are looking at are more expensive. You would still get off cheaper even offering to pay some of current mws gas for at least one of her trips...

Good luck with whatever you decide... Course I didn't really help you compose any sort of email did I? LOL!

Momma to ds(6), dd(3) and ?? 6/08

[zoebird]

personally, i would also stay with the current midwife and assert that i'd be willing to pay her for the gas/travel time in addition to what i'm already paying her.