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Time for the talk - PPD Support Thread

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Since I know I'm skating dangerously close to it myself, I thought I'd start a little PPD support thread so we can get things out in the open. Having suffered from major depressive episodes in the past, this is feeling like it's due more to my chronic sleep deprivation than anything else, not that it makes much of a difference at the end of the day. I've had some less than maternal thoughts about both of my children and I'm spending a boatload of energy keeping my perceptions based in reality. While I want to work on making some dietary changes, my main focus right now is getting all the sleep I can - way easier said than done. I'm giving myself a deadline to get things in order - if it's still pretty bad, I'm going to start taking my meds again so I can get back on an even keel.

How is everyone else doing?
post #2 of 13
I don't know if it's a miracle, or my wonderful angel of a husband, but I'm not having any problems this time around! Even though I had a CBAC and am totally defeated in that, I still feel like I am very happy to have my baby and coping with the sleep deprivation and hard work. Hormonally, I feel back to normal. What a shock after suffering severe depression and PTSD after my first c-section.

I really think my husband has made the difference this time. The first time around I felt much more alone and overwhelmed. Now he is bending over backwards to make sure my only job is taking care of the kids, and he's helping as much as he can with that.

I also think my prenatal care helped me deal with old baggage and to truly be prepared for the 4th trimester, as much as you can anyway.

I hope all of us who struggle with this will find the support we need. I know how hard it can be to reach out.
post #3 of 13
I don't have ppd, but do feel very overwhelmed at times. Especially when my DH is out of town...he left today and will be gone 7 days. The kids are home for a 3 day weekend, so by Sunday night I will be a little crazy I am sure!

I also get blue thinking about how Audrey is most likely our last baby. I just love being pregnant and having an infant so much and to think this is it really bums me out. I always tease DH and tell him we will have a change of life baby...he doesn't think it is funny. I know in reality especially from a financial perspective 4 kids is probably enough, but in my heart I would keep having babies! I just don't feel ready to let go of my reproductive years and move on to the next phase of just raising everyone...I am trying to come to terms and accept it, but I just don't want to.
post #4 of 13
Here. It's not sleep deprivation in my case, because River is only up once at night. It could be the sheer blinding crapness and suckiness of my life, or it could be that my blood sugar levels are all over the place (or, of course, both. I've noticed that my mood is closely linked to diet, though.)
post #5 of 13
No PPD for me, but I just wanted to throw this out there. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since my teens, and I now swear by 5-htp. It has helped so much. It's a natural plant derived supplement that raises serotonin levels. It has been very effective for people suffering from depression, PMS, anxiety, insomnia, and even food cravings. When I start feeling depressed, I start taking 100mg 3x a day. For me it works very quickly- usually within a few days. I can take longer for some. Once I'm feeling back to normal, I can stop taking it. It's been two years since I've needed it, now. I encourage you all to try it. It really changed my life!
post #6 of 13
I have been having depression a little bit, but not from the baby, it is situational (Stupid immigration problems!) When Anisa was about 2 weeks old, I was so upset and hurt because I kept thinking my child hated me. She would smile for her daddy, for everyone except me. Then at 4 weeks she would smile for me, but only when I took my booby out! Because she knew she was being fed... Now since she was 5 weeks, she smiles at me every morning when I pick her up, the whole way to the changing table she has a big smile on her face looking in my eyes. So Sweet!
post #7 of 13
How's anyone else doing? I had a bad day yesterday - I've started having panic attacks- and my adorable 2yo is screaming at me.BBL.
post #8 of 13
just checking in to say I'm doing well except for the occaisional sudden realization of just how fragile babies are and how easy it would be to scar him for life with a spilled spoonful of soup or the like; I don't really see these as "intrusive thoughts", just awareness and reminders to be careful.

I really don't think I ever had PPD in the first place, although the symptoms are certainly familiar and I need to give everybody who is going through it now a and, like applecore, suggest what helped me with situational depression, which is grapeseed extract. It is similar to tricyclics in that it takes about three days to help depression and during that time you might be very sleepy, but the sleepiness goes away. I've taken it for years at a stretch with no problems.

As far as confronting my ex about what he put in my Floradix 20 years ago or ever expecting to see justice done, well, that ain't gonna happen; it was too long ago; it still sounds too crazy; I think I'm just going to stop talking about it and leave it at that I know a fair amount about PPD and PPP because I thought I had it once and it turned out that I didn't.

I'll also forgive myself for my irrational fear of floradix and use my cast iron cookware instead.

< cringe >
post #9 of 13
Thread Starter 
I've been having some intrusive thoughts but they've been very fleeting and I haven't been spending a lot of energy keeping my perceptions in check since I managed to get some decent sleep over the weekend. Alex has been more high-needs the past few days which means I'm all sorts of touched out and have nothing left for Michael - I hate being this short with him.

I'm still struggling with meds - intellectually I know the extra help would be tremendous; yes, I can do without but it's a lot easier with. The one voice in my head from my childhood that I have not been able to completely exorcise tells me it's all in my head (ha, ha) and it's so hard to get past that even though I know I function so much better w/a low dose of welbutrin. I do have to watch it though because if the depression goes unchecked for too long it turns into an anxiety/rapid-cycling/lots of other nasty things hell that will require much more than the single dose of welbutrin I'm balking at taking for something my mother yelled at me almost 20 years ago. I think I just answered my own question.

s Helen - be gentle with youself.
post #10 of 13
NOS, I have some spatone I can send you? Nobody EVER drugs water, surely?
For me, the meds have never worked well- not well enough. They've just kept me drugged until I'm ready to get better.
post #11 of 13
I have had some depression during pregnancy both times around and was told by a midwife to take B complex vitamins. (floradix has B vitamins too) It really worked. It seemed to even out my mood incredibly well without the negative 'drugged out' feelings medication always made me feel.
She told me it commonly helps people with anxiety problems. It worked for me!
post #12 of 13
I'm horribly depressed, but it's mostly situational. Im not sure what's worng with my body either, but most of this misery is directly related to crap in my life.
post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 
Rynna - aside from the situational stuff I took a 14 and 30 day course of doxycyline and another equally nasty abx for a uterine infection two years ago and it wreaked complete and utter havock with my mental state and continued to do so for a good week or two after I finished. Please be as gentle with yourself as you can and remember that we love you .
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