My (silly) complaint about homebirth

[Jacquie99]

So, the biggest (and probably only) thing I don't like about having a homebirth, is that fact that everything happens in my home. Which means, every night I have to make sure my house is company ready in case this is The Night. Gets kind of stressful, and tired. Plus I start feeling like, this baby had better come before I have to clean the bathroom/scrub the kitchen floor/vacuum one more time! Anyone else feel this way? If I were in the hospital I could make my mom straighten up the house before I got home! I've already given DH instructions that if I happen to go into labor on a night that I don't get everything done for the day (of course that will be the day, right?) he is to walk around with a laundry basket, pick up everything that is out of place, and put the basket in the basement!

[Luv2Skydive]

I'm not there yet.....but that will be TOTALLY me! I will be an absolute tyrant from 38 weeks until I give birth. So I'll basically let the house go to heck until then and go on a cleaning rampage.....it won't be pretty.

[paphia]

Yeah, I'm constantly picking up because I feel like I won't be ready for labor unless it is all clean, or that seeing a mess will stall my labor or something. I'm not even planning on having an attendant, and we might end up going to a hotel if I'm not comfortable laboring with my mil in the house, but still I want it spotless all the time. Which is really hard with a 21 month old running around with sticky fingers.

[aloneinid]

HA! These are EXACTLY my feelings. My first son was born at a freestanding birth center. We just drove there and everything was clean and ready. This time, having a homebirth, I am constantly sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, doing dishes and laundry before bedtime each night to make sure the house is spotless. My husbands labor "to do" list starts with "fill the birth pool" and also contains "sweep, mop, clean bathroom". All of this follows three weeks of insane nesting where I washed EVERYTHING we own. I am surprised my washer and dryer haven't bitten the dust.
If I had known it would feel like this ahead of time I might have just gone back to the birth center!!!

[mama_ani]

YES!!!!!!

I was telling a friend of mine how my "to do when labour starts" list looks more like a "how to do a thorough cleaning of the house" list!

I'm finding it very stressful to try to keep the house up and every night I pray I'm NOT having the baby because the house isn't ready.

[tarajean56]

We did a deep clean right around 36 weeks. Now, I just survey the house every night and think, "could I get this done in early labor?" If the answer is yes, then I just leave it. If not, I might pick up a little bit.

[kjoy2]

We were supposed to do a good cleaning last weekend - didn't happen. It is an absolute must this Saturday. DH is in for it!

[jenmidwife2b]

May I just say, from the midwife's point of view, that we don't care if your floors haven't been mopped/swept for your birth, and neither does your baby. Try and relax if you can, enjoy the end as it nears and give yourself an amazing gift of tranquility and acceptance of your surroundings as they are. I know that's uber hard when you're nesting, but try your best, your nerves will thank you!

[pixiepunk]

i hear what you're saying, but i'm not overly worried about it. we did do a pretty big cleaning over the last two weeks to get the dark corners and crevices that we don't normally deal with, shampooed the carpets, and did some reorganizing and what-not. but now i'm just in maintenance mode. if i vacuum, great, if i don't, well.... life goes on! i figure it's clean enough, and once the baby's here and my mom and DH are here for a few days they can straighten the rest

part of this, though, is that my DH is working 3 jobs right now and usually leaves before we wake and doesn't get home till hours after we're in bed Mon-Fri and sometimes works on weekends too. And so i think i've mentally given myself permission not to worry about it because it's all i can do to keep the kids fed and clean clothes on their back and keep the place from looking a completely wreck.

my biggest concern about the birth is that everyone actually gets here before the baby comes! my DH works over an hour away, my m/w lives a little over an hour away and most of her clients and her DS's school are a half-hour or more in the opposite direction, my mom lives over 2 hours away and is coming to help with the kids. so maybe since i have that to obsess over it allows me to overlook the little things? or maybe i'm just a slob

[Bokoto]

I'm not even having a home birth and I've been obsessed with keeping the house clean. For me, it's more about my peace of mind after the babe is here. Clean house = peaceful mind in my warped little world. Chaos and clutter make me edgy -- which explains why I get edgy all the time with a 5 and 3 year old running around undoing all my organizing!

Anyhow, I hear you!

[BensMom]

Yup.

DH's idea of "doing the dishes" after dinner is to just organize them in the sink and let everything soak overnight - where I get to deal with it in the morning. I have been kicking him and his useless butt out of the kitchen at night and doing them all myself because the idea of not going to bed with a clean/organized kitchen makes me all panicky.

I have also decided that since I cant win the battle of toy clutter, that I will just focus on keeping my upstairs organized, since that is where the pool will be, where I will be babymooning, etc. Out of sight, out of mind.

We also did a major clean at 36w for the home visit, but the bathrooms and kitchen floor are overdue for another clean. Blech.

[celestialdreamer]

I am so in this spot and I've pretty much hit a brick wall because of exhaustion My last birth kicked in very intense and was really short so I know that I very likely won't be able to clean things up in early labor. I have a house that can look dirty an hour after you've cleaned everything. Its a combo of bad color choices: red corduroy sofa, black furniture, black kitchen floor, shiny granite, wood floors + 3 furry light colored pets + almost 2yo who thinks everything is a napkin = crazy and tired mama. I was talking to my MW last night and she really honestly was telling me to not worry about it. The thing is its not just for her, its for me too...it will make me feel ready to have the baby if everything is just so. I was able to do these things when I just had 1 toddler last time around but with 2 little ones its just not happening. I think I give up!

[xekomaya]

I'm exhausted just reading this thread...

I just have not had the energy lately to work full time, cool all the meals, and keep the house clean. I'm hoping I'll have the time in early labor to clear off the counters and the table. Nothing else should be in view unless I want to labor in the bedroom. My mom is coming over this weekend to deep clean with me and if it doesn't last, I'll make her come over in 2 more weeks

I don't know how you all with other kiddos are doing it. I feel like such a total wuss that I can't even take care of me & DH - I have no excuse for my house not being spotless!

[~Megan~]

not due till this summer....

Last time though nesting kicked in and it wasn't so bad. Also my friend/midwife told me about some of the houses she had been in and I felt like Martha Stewart!

[APmom2Libby]

My nesting kicked in about 2 weeks ago and, so far, my dh and I have gotten a TON done, but it always seems like there is MORE!

My goal this weekend is getting the birth supplies organized and next weekend we are setting up the birth pool.

In the meantime, I have a gift certificate from Molly Maid and am having them come once a week until the birth to clean my bathrooms and kitchen floors...which is a HUGE relief. I can handle the rest of the house as long as I don't have to do those!

[~ATenthMuse~]

Originally Posted by celestialdreamer

I am so in this spot and I've pretty much hit a brick wall because of exhaustion My last birth kicked in very intense and was really short so I know that I very likely won't be able to clean things up in early labor. I have a house that can look dirty an hour after you've cleaned everything. Its a combo of bad color choices: red corduroy sofa, black furniture, black kitchen floor, shiny granite, wood floors + 3 furry light colored pets + almost 2yo who thinks everything is a napkin = crazy and tired mama. I was talking to my MW last night and she really honestly was telling me to not worry about it. The thing is its not just for her, its for me too...it will make me feel ready to have the baby if everything is just so. I was able to do these things when I just had 1 toddler last time around but with 2 little ones its just not happening. I think I give up!

I'm so relieved to hear it's not just me. I'm so tired, I can't keep up very well at all. It's crazy! AND... my German Shepherd and my long haired, fat cat are shedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If anything jump starts labor for me, it'll be the Dyson. That birth center in Tacoma? It sounds really appealing right now!

[celestialdreamer]

Originally Posted by ~ATenthMuse~

I'm so relieved to hear it's not just me. I'm so tired, I can't keep up very well at all. It's crazy! AND... my German Shepherd and my long haired, fat cat are shedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If anything jump starts labor for me, it'll be the Dyson. That birth center in Tacoma? It sounds really appealing right now!

LMAO! I just had the same thought yesterday about the Birthing Inn! As much as I love not having to go anywhere for the birth and snuggling into my own bed afterwards...the idea of going somewhere else sounds very appealing right now.

My kids are driving me bonkers anyway, so can I just go stay there until I deliver??? Ds has suddenly decided to be nudist and wants to pee on the potty...except mama is too tired to clean up puddles right now! He is going to squirt himself in the face I swear! Dd is obsessed with arts and crafts and has been cutting up paper, yarn, socks (!!!!) and gluing them with a gluestick over the past few days : I alternate from wanting to run away screaming and bawling my eyes out because I love my sweet children so much and just want to hug them all day. I. am. so. DONE!

[sg784]

Originally Posted by Jacquie99

So, the biggest (and probably only) thing I don't like about having a homebirth, is that fact that everything happens in my home. Which means, every night I have to make sure my house is company ready in case this is The Night. Gets kind of stressful, and tired. Plus I start feeling like, this baby had better come before I have to clean the bathroom/scrub the kitchen floor/vacuum one more time! Anyone else feel this way? If I were in the hospital I could make my mom straighten up the house before I got home! I've already given DH instructions that if I happen to go into labor on a night that I don't get everything done for the day (of course that will be the day, right?) he is to walk around with a laundry basket, pick up everything that is out of place, and put the basket in the basement!

YES!!!!!! EXACTLY! I get up in the middle of the night to pee and i end up cleaning this, organizing that, moving this, stacking that...

Totally hear ya!

[SumnerRain]

Not in your DDC, but *thinking* of having my first home birth.... wow, you guys just gave me one more thing to stress about!!

[chely7425]

I'm not even having a home birth and the fact that there is dog hair on my floor is stressing me out...