Originally Posted by onlyAngil
GO MAMA GO!
Thank you! I needed encouragement SO MUCH. I've got a little crawler now. I have some appropriate carriers for back carries, which has helped a lot, but he is still a pretoddler and he still needs floor time.
"toe-eaze" are touted as the solution to every challenge that arises in parenting a pretoddler. Becomes hysterical in his car seat? Give him a toy! Pulls your hair during back carries? Give him a toy! Need to keep him safe while you throw together some winter pants? Give him a toy!
I was seriously eyeing some nice wooden spoons at the store the other day.
When I first noticed him happily batting at the yoga ball and exploring his cardboard box tower, i would stop what i was doing immediately and play with him, but now i'm not so sure that i want to interfere with his explorations of the world of inanimate objects.
I am finding myself questioning the common disciplinary tactic of distracting toddlers from dangerous and fragile items. This may be more appropriate for the consensual living thread, but i've been working on a very toxic relationship with my mother and trying to explain in a nonjudgemental tone how it makes me feel when that same technique has been used on me in my 20s, 30s, and 40s.
|"Mom, I'm really scared. Things didn't go well in court today and I'm beginning to think that dd1 may never come home again!"
"Don't be ridiculous. I sent your lawyer a check and he should get it next Tuesday. Is your cat friendly and purry when company comes over or does she go pfft pfft pfft and scoot out the window to hide in the back yard?"
"Mom, I'm really scared. This George Bush guy is running the economy into the ground. A lot of my friends can't find any work at all and my resume has a large gap in it from being a SAHM."
"Don't be ridiculous. Sometimes Republicans win elections and other times Democrats do. Maybe we'll have a Democrat in the white house next time. If you would brush your cat every day, she wouldn't shed so much and your house would be cleaner. "
I know I'm not likely to engage an eight month old in a calm discussion about the pros and cons of sticking a fork in an electric socket or putting a plastic bag over his head, but Iove him and I don't want to make him feel the way I feel when distraction is used as a technique to control my behavior!
This post has turned into more of a rant than an update. My little boy is continuing along the same path as a human-centric, delightful, easygoing person and I want to keep going, I just need to do a better job of not falling into the "everybody else does it so it must be the right way" mentality that I did with his siblings.
It's a funny perspective I have, with all of my regrets and might-have-beens from the older kids existing simultaneously with the idealism and hope of all new parents.
Terran will be meeting his grandmother next month. Sadly, I don't think she knows how to relate to babies without buying them "toe-eaze" so I will explain as best I can and will probably still need to make a trip to the consignment store or the donation site for the rescue mission thrift store after she leaves.
Christmas is another challenge looming on the horizon. I'd just skip it if my almost seventeen year old didn't love it so much.
It's so great to see this thread being revived but please, I don't want to be alpha dog here, I am trying to find some like-minded people for support, bouncing ideas off of, and to learn from.
Oh, and I hope it's not a UAV to congratulate Zoebird on the birth of her son.