POLL: Do You Feel: depressive feelings/hollow feeling in stomach when breastfeeding? - Page 3

[principii]

Originally Posted by ahdoula

-nicotine seems to make it better (not telling to smoke just letting you know!)
-alcohol seem to makes it better (not telling to drink just letting you know!)
-a full stomach and eating in general seems to make it worse
-an empty stomach seems to lessen it
-D-MER seems worse with spontaneous letdowns so try to minimize them
-It seems to be better during the night-so nurse more at night so maybe there would be less day time nursings
-Caffeine may aggravate it
-Keep yourself distracted while nursing, often mothers notice it much less when talking to another person (in person or on the phone)

Okay, this is really interesting. I hate to admit it but I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day, and will occasionally have a glass of wine or a beer in the evenings. I find that when I've gone without a smoke (I'm trying to quit) for more than four hours, the depressed feeling that comes when I nurse is almost unbearable. I primarily feel GUILTY - to the point of suicide (almost). It's just the worst WORST guilt feeling I've EVER had. When I'm hungry I find it's better, also! : This isn't good because it's triggered my past issues with food (sadly, an eating disorder).
Anyway, yes, when I talk to others too, it's MUCH better. In fact that is the most helpful thing (this is all in retrospect... I didn't know until yesterday that I wasn't going insane! Ha.) Unfortunately I don't know anybody in person around here (yet... though ha again, we've lived here almost two years) and the only person I really speak to on the phone is my mom. (which is or isn't a good thing, depending).

Okay I didn't mean for this to end up as a history of my life.

[ahdoula]

Originally Posted by principii

Okay, this is really interesting. I hate to admit it but I smoke about 5-7 cigarettes a day, and will occasionally have a glass of wine or a beer in the evenings. I find that when I've gone without a smoke (I'm trying to quit) for more than four hours, the depressed feeling that comes when I nurse is almost unbearable. I primarily feel GUILTY - to the point of suicide (almost). It's just the worst WORST guilt feeling I've EVER had. When I'm hungry I find it's better, also! : This isn't good because it's triggered my past issues with food (sadly, an eating disorder).
Anyway, yes, when I talk to others too, it's MUCH better. In fact that is the most helpful thing (this is all in retrospect... I didn't know until yesterday that I wasn't going insane! Ha.) Unfortunately I don't know anybody in person around here (yet... though ha again, we've lived here almost two years) and the only person I really speak to on the phone is my mom. (which is or isn't a good thing, depending).

Okay I didn't mean for this to end up as a history of my life.

Mama you and I are the same page! I have a ED history too, as well as some mild self harm tendencies, so the whole guilt thing can really send me up a wall, and I do dread eating becuase I know it will be so much worse after I do.

Smaller bits of food are better, it's always the worst after a big meal.

I use nicotine in a medicinal sense, I am not a "real" smoker, but I do it at the end of the day, when the D-MER is worse, as a coping technique and as a "reward" if I get through my whole day with the kids without destructive behavior (ED stuff, self harm stuff, etc.)

[ahdoula]

Bump for Friday! Can we get 25 more votes?

[elizaMM]

ahdoula, just a thought : you'd probably get more votes and a more representative sample with a subject line that lets reader know its a poll. I passed up this thread for several days thinking some poor gal had an unfortunate problem and only viewed it when I started wondering how there could be three pages discussing it.

I was surprised to see the high rate of "yes" answers, then realized the sample is biased since participants self-select.

Maybe "poll: do you feel... " as a subject line would attract more participants.

Good luck and kudos for researching the topic.

[ahdoula]

Well Duh! I knew there must be a better way to do it, but hadn't put my finger on it! Thanks for the tip and the bump! I'll go ahead now!

Originally Posted by elizaMM

ahdoula, just a thought : you'd probably get more votes and a more representative sample with a subject line that lets reader know its a poll. I passed up this thread for several days thinking some poor gal had an unfortunate problem and only viewed it when I started wondering how there could be three pages discussing it.

I was surprised to see the high rate of "yes" answers, then realized the sample is biased since participants self-select.

Maybe "poll: do you feel... " as a subject line would attract more participants.

Good luck and kudos for researching the topic.

[dimibella]

I voted no because the majority of the time this did not happen to me, BUT when my cycles returned and I was nursing DD it would happen every now and then. It was awful.

[ahdoula]

Originally Posted by dimibella

I voted no because the majority of the time this did not happen to me, BUT when my cycles returned and I was nursing DD it would happen every now and then. It was awful.

That could be a yes too, I am finding some mothers find it happens when they get their period back, or when they get pregnant and are still nursing. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to hormones and obviously pregnancy and returning cycles change hormones!!

Thanks for your post, the info is helpful!

[bri276]

I didn't feel that, however, I did sometimes feel very irritable or even angry prior to and during letdown. (I was an ep'er, don't know if that had something to do with it- but it wasn't psychological, it was definitely hormonal)

[ahdoula]

Originally Posted by bri276

I didn't feel that, however, I did sometimes feel very irritable or even angry prior to and during letdown. (I was an ep'er, don't know if that had something to do with it- but it wasn't psychological, it was definitely hormonal)

That counts! Here is a run down of a lot of the words D-MER mamas use:

67% of mother experience a hollow feeling in their stomach

55% have feeling of anxiety

55% feels like there is something in the pit of their stomach

50% have feelings of depression

47% experience sadness

44% of mothers feel hopelessness

44% describe it with “yuckiness”

44% have general “negative” emotions

41% say it’s an “ickyness”

41% experience a feeling of dread

35% have an urge to “get away”

38% experience irritability

29% experience a sense of guilt or shame

29% feel tearful

23% feel nauseous

23% of mothers say the feeling is familiar of the past

23% feel panic

20% of feelings of aggression

17% suffer a loss of appetite

14% have suicidal thoughts

14% feel homesickness like feelings

[lovingmommyhood]

I'm so glad to see this thread. I was on the previous thread when I was still nursing DS2. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have started to worry about this again. I experienced it with both of my other DC and I am dreading it this time.

For me it's a tightening in my chest and an intense FLOOD of negative emotions that I actually can't even piece together into one thought. It's just "everything's horrible" I feel so gross & sad.

I'm just really glad to know I'm not alone and hopefully will find some answers. to you all.

[Evenstar]

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood

...

For me it's a tightening in my chest and an intense FLOOD of negative emotions that I actually can't even piece together into one thought. It's just "everything's horrible" I feel so gross & sad.

This is a good description of how I feel. I don't usually feel sad or depressed, though. It's more like gross, disgusted, irritated, etc. I never feel it toward DS, but almost always feel it toward DH. After so long, I figured out that it only occured while BF and that it was really not about DH, but somehow those thoughts became an automatic reaction, I think. Also, in my case, BF made me feel warm and fuzzy for several months and these negative feelings didn't start to occur until DS was around 10 mos old.

ETA: I haven't started my period yet

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by Evenstar

This is a good description of how I feel. I don't usually feel sad or depressed, though. It's more like gross, disgusted, irritated, etc. I never feel it toward DS, but almost always feel it toward DH. After so long, I figured out that it only occured while BF and that it was really not about DH, but somehow those thoughts became an automatic reaction, I think. Also, in my case, BF made me feel warm and fuzzy for several months and these negative feelings didn't start to occur until DS was around 10 mos old.

ETA: I haven't started my period yet

I never felt the negative feelings towards my DC either which somehow made me feel better about the whole thing. Maybe looking for a silver lining?

[raeinparis]

100 votes

i just voted yes and i'm the 100th voter. i had it bad with my first for the first few months (unpleasant birth -- forceps and lots of cuts plus tearing and messed up tailbone) and a bit with my second (much nicer birth, no epidural, laboured in water). it has gone away but i've never been mad keen on bf.

[jencen]

That is so crazy...my whole life I had this nipple sensitivity and would try to express it to my lover as feelings of homesickness. I thought I was the only one. For some strange, inexplicable reason, breastfeeding does not stimulate the same response, go figure.

[calpurnia]

Originally Posted by jencen

That is so crazy...my whole life I had this nipple sensitivity and would try to express it to my lover as feelings of homesickness. I thought I was the only one. For some strange, inexplicable reason, breastfeeding does not stimulate the same response, go figure.

How weird! I am 34 weeks pregnant so haven't started breastfeeding yet, but I get this "homesick" feeling too - that's exactly how I describe it as well. It doesn't last & I don't find it overwhelming to deal with. I'm expecting to get the same sensation when breastfeeding but perhaps not, if I follow your example.

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by jencen

That is so crazy...my whole life I had this nipple sensitivity and would try to express it to my lover as feelings of homesickness. I thought I was the only one. For some strange, inexplicable reason, breastfeeding does not stimulate the same response, go figure.

Okay, it's really really weird that someone else is having it not only when nursing. What prompted me to come searching for this thread again was that last night DH was playing with my nipples and I got a similar feeling as I do when I'm nursing (Yet not as strong) and I rememebered I had to start getting ready. Weird.

[the elyse]

i have this too, and it's slowly going away as my ds gets older. i remember on the first day how it felt like i had tiny little strings running from my throat to my stomach that were being tightened, and the depressing feeling and sinking stomach...very ewk. i asked my apprentice midwife (also my good friend) who nursed her two boys and she didn't remember ever feeling like that. if ds stays latched on for more than 20 minutes, i get what feels like restless leg syndrome all over my body. it's nasty.

[Leilalu]

I have experienced this. But I think it may be linked to nutrition. Isn't everything?

I experienced it a lot at first after the baby was born. But now I have been supplementing myself with good fats and vitamins and hopefully fixing my thyroid...

So usually, lately, it is a feeling of pure elation and love for my new baby. But there have still been a few times with the hollow feeling. I have also experienced it before baby was born, but I would describe it as kind of a "homesick" feeling too.

But I always feel insanely thirsty.

[ahdoula]

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood

Okay, it's really really weird that someone else is having it not only when nursing. What prompted me to come searching for this thread again was that last night DH was playing with my nipples and I got a similar feeling as I do when I'm nursing (Yet not as strong) and I rememebered I had to start getting ready. Weird.

Not so weird actually! There are a whole bunch of moms that get it with nipple play but not breastfeeding, or nipple play AND breastfeeding, or bfding and not nipple play...and I found a couple threads on line from women who had never breastfed but got it with nipple play, they called it "sad nipple syndrome"

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by ahdoula

Not so weird actually! There are a whole bunch of moms that get it with nipple play but not breastfeeding, or nipple play AND breastfeeding, or bfding and not nipple play...and I found a couple threads on line from women who had never breastfed but got it with nipple play, they called it "sad nipple syndrome"

Oh WOW! I'm so blown away that I'm not just a weirdo.