dcs splitting time between tv-free household and tv household

[One Art]

I was raised without tv, and I have been raising my dds the same way. Now, however, I am a single mama, and although stbx had always agreed to be tv-free (he didn't even have one when I met him!) he is now letting dds watch tv every day that he's with them. Dd1 loves Dora and Diego and now has a wide array of Dora products - clothing, umbrella, kite, toys, books, cds, etc. She also pretends to be Dora or Diego on a regular basis - a big change from all her fairy play. Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of situation? Is there anything I can do, or do I just have to deal with it? Thanks!

[Arwyn]

That sounds pretty tough. How is she when she's with you? Is she clamoring for TV, or does she seem fine to be without it? If she's not clamoring, I might accept the Dora play as part of the package of separating. If she is, or if you're really not comfortable with it, can you talk with her dad about it? If it wouldn't be possible without a huge argument, it doesn't seem worth it to me.

Have you tried posting in the Single Parenting forum?

[thismama]

Mine has this! Only my house has tv and her dad's does not. It's not a big deal, they get used to different rules really well IME.

[BugMacGee]

My kids are the same way.
Meh. I have to pick my battles. My ex is being a more involved father than he was before we separated so if he lets them watch some TV, I'm not hugely upset about it. DD#2 could give a flying flip about TV anyway.

He only has them 30% so 70% of their time is TV free.

[Millie Ivy]

We aren't really tvfree. I just disconnected cable so we watch movies together as a family, and have a hefty amount of computer time, but compared to the mainstream, we are pretty darn tv free.

I am also divorced and remarried. My ex has them in front of a tv a lot, and they are ok when they are home. There is always an adjustment period after weekends and longer times with him, but in general they are thrilled to do the stuff we do. Kids are really resilient,actually. And I have learned to pick my battles. Watching too much Dora, not as big of an issue as leaving them in a restaurant alone or feeding them foods they are intolerant of. : Um, but I digress....

[knittinanny]

I sort of had a similar experience with some ex-nanny kids I was with for several years. They had a TV in their house and when they were with their parents (on the weekends) they watched tons of TV (and had little parental interaction), but there was absolutely no tv-watching when I was there. They knew the drill.

Sometimes they seemed pretty attached to all the characters so I would try to use it as a basis for more independent, creative play and as a way to work out issues - e.g., if they wanted to play Fairly OddParents (they were a bit older that your LOs), we would talk about things that had come up in the shows (fairness, lying, etc) and would make up games involving the characters rather than act out things they had seen.

It wasn't ideal, but since they weren't with me 100% of the time, that was the best I could do for them.