As saphy said, i'm going to UC my first this year!
yay!I know that I want to UC and dp has said that he would love to as long as he had the time to educate himself as much as possible.
how long does he feel that he needs? how long do you feel that you need? it's good to think in these terms.
people do need different amounts of time to figure things out. knowing how much time you need can help. My fear is that as a first-timer I wouldn't be able to recognize it if something was wrong.
i think that this is a common fear. but, also notice that you wrote that you trust your body to know what to do. so, that goes with this. if your body needs help (something is wrong), then it will let you know, and you'll know what to do.
also, you might find that you're drawn to certain things to study. not just birth stories or what not, but that perhaps you find that you need to learn about a certain thing about birth--to learn a lot about it. i think that the spirit and body wisdom can guide this process.
so, you face your fear and you work through it. see what the fear is. see how it works. see what you need to know and think and feel to be secure.
and then you'll feel secure. Or that something 'normal' would seem wrong to me and I'd rush to the hospital and end up being cut open for no good reason.
for a time, i noticed a large number of first time mothers who were also UCing make the rush to the hospital because they needed emotional support.
a lot of women on this thread have talked about this--how they needed a particular amount of support during their births.
for some people, this means medical support, for others, family members or friends are the right route. neither route is wrong or bad.
if you think/feel that you need more emotional support than you can provide yourself or that your partner can provide for you (for whatever reason), that's cool.
get the support you need.
many of the transfers where the birth is vaginal, basically intervention free for first-time mothers who tried to UC got the support that they needed. and it was a great birth for them.
and perhaps they UC later, or perhaps they have a midwife present, or perhaps they decide to invite friends and family.
everyone has their own way. UC isn't the end all and be all. so, you know, if you think you want or need that support, then there's nothing wrong with that.
and if you think you don't and discover that you do (could be me!), then there's no problem in seeking that support from someone. At the same time, I trust my partner to be there for me as well as my body to know what to do.
i think you just have to find your balance. I often think of UC as a journey, not a destination. by simply engaging the ideas, and acting out of self knowledge rather than fear, you can make the right and best decision for yourself.
we can look at amazing women here, like Laurata who has said that she will not UC for personal reasons, and RMBZM who went through a lot of thought and struggle to avoid c-section and have a UC, but today has decided to 'go in' for help because of health reasons.
to me, the UC isn't as important as the procss of discovering--from the internal self, from the point of self-knowledge--what is absolutely right for you.
for many women on these boards they are taking these ideas of empowerment, self knowledge, and self reliance, and then applying those elements to their unique circumstances.
this may mean hiring a midwife, or inviting a trusted friend, or going to a hospital, or any number of combinations of things that are helpful and vibrant to you.
so, you are thinking about a UC and i encourage that. But for me, thinking about it, engaging the idea fully, that is where the success is. whether or not one has a UC, the success is in being self reliant and choosing exactly what is right and necessary for you.
that may be UC, it may not be. but it will be right. It really helps to read birth stories for first babies that went well.
i agree. i think that there are a number of them on laura shanley's website: unassistedchildbirth.com. she has a lot of birth stories on there--all kinds.
personally, i also find it informative to read all kinds of birth stories, because then i get a good picture of all sorts of circumstnaces and, in a way, "what to expect." of course, that means "expect the unexpected!" a lot of the time!
but it helps me to read as many birth stories as i can, because i learn from the strength and diversity of mothers--all kinds.
though, i do find that, when i'm feeling a little nervous or scared or something, i look into that, but i also reassure myself with those stories that just went so well.