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My In-laws are from England, They think choosing HB is just "no big deal"  

post #1 of 13
4/5/08 at 7:30pm
Thread Starter 
Just wanted to post a different family prospective...

My ILS are from England, they moved here about 20 or so yrs ago. They never did have a HB there but know many people who did, it was just normal. So when I told them that I was planning to HB they were like "oh thats nice". It's almost strange how little we chat about it, its like no big deal. They are totally excited to be grandparents again and just think having a babe at home with a competent MW is a great choice, no need for fear or discussion. It is really cool how since they grew up around it and see it as a "normal" way to have a baby, their is just no need for the fear and criticism I hear so much about from other moms here on mothering. It makes me sad that most of us USA mom's not growing up with HB being a normal choice have to deal with so much emotional baggage from within our selves and our family when we choose to HB. While much of the rest of the world HBs babies as a normal option everyday.

Just a thought.
post #2 of 13
4/5/08 at 9:52pm
That's great! I have friends from Europe and it's great to see that their views on homebirth and midwives are very different from mainstream USA.
post #3 of 13
4/5/08 at 10:20pm
That doesn't surprise me at all. My mom is German and definitely no rebel and she had both of my siblings at home with a midwife. She's no homebirth advocate - just very pragmatic.
post #4 of 13
4/6/08 at 6:34am
I live in England and we haven't told my ILs yet that we are having a HB (it just hasn't come up yet) but I don't forsee them having any problems with it. My parents on the other hand, might take a bit more convincing. Not that I need to convince them...you know what I mean!
post #5 of 13
4/6/08 at 6:42am
My mother had her first 2 kids at home. I was born in a hospital - not what she wanted, but she was what they termed an "older" mother at 37, she was induced at 37 weeks against her wishes, they told her they wouldn't do it then a Dr came in and broke her water - she still gets angry about it now.
post #6 of 13
4/6/08 at 1:46pm
Yes! My MIL is in England too, and my choice of a HB is the only thing we've ever agreed on, I think! I'm in my 43rd week, and all my American family and friends are freaking out, but she's just like, "he'll come when he's ready," no big deal at all.

Cara
post #7 of 13
4/6/08 at 2:56pm
How nice for it to be just normal to them. Hopefully, that's the atmosphere we're creating for our children!
post #8 of 13
4/6/08 at 4:56pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoMama View Post
How nice for it to be just normal to them. Hopefully, that's the atmosphere we're creating for our children!
So true!
post #9 of 13
4/6/08 at 8:29pm
I'm good friends with a woman that grew up on the TX side of the TX/Mexico border, but she frequently went over the border to Mexico. Like, daily.

We were talking recently about hb and she knows that my 2 youngest were born at home. She explained to me that in Mexico, it's just normal. Everyone does it, that's just the way it goes. They can't afford doctors and there's no reason to go anyway.

I was blown away because I'm so used to ppl getting all uptight about homebirth, but here is this woman who *expects* it.

Then 2 nights ago we conversed about my use of slings. She knew all the poor women in Mexico used them (rebozos) and as a child she saw it all the time. She just assumed it was for the poor ppl and it didn't occur to her until she saw ME with MY slings and mei tais that wearing a baby is really easy and rather convenient!

It was such an eye opening conversation for the both of us.
post #10 of 13
4/6/08 at 9:11pm
When I was researching prior to my homebirth, I found the American news stories that made it seem like such a marginal, crazy thing to do. And then I found the UK news stories that were totally matter of fact about it. Right about the time I got pregnant, there was this big fuss in the UK because the NHS had a staff shortage of midwives, and they weren't able to guarantee a homebirth to everyone who wanted one.
post #11 of 13
4/6/08 at 11:53pm
That is awesome that you have that sort of support system. I just focus on the fact that my children view birth as normal - and that it is normal to stay home. We were watching a natural childbirth video, although the birth was in a hospital. My 3yo dd says "Mommy - why is that lady at the doctor for her baby to come out?" My 6yo ds says "Some mommies want to have a doctor and go to the hospital but most mommies don't need to. They just do it. But our mommy doesn't"

I was so proud that they already have such a view and what view all of us "crazy" hb mommas are doing for future generations of babies... making birth not a fearful thing for our children will go a long way to perpetuating gentle births... and hey - maybe even creating a few truly natural childbirth friendly doctors (gasp!!)
post #12 of 13
4/7/08 at 12:07am
Yeah!
post #13 of 13
4/7/08 at 11:35pm
Big suprise to me but my relatives are all fine with homebirth as well. No comments about it at all!!! It is an even bigger suprise as they all live in the USA and two of them are surgons, and two are NICU nurses, and one more doctor and three more nurses. With such a medicalized family I expected some one to say something but not a peep out of anybody. They all just act like it is no big deal. I think it may help that most all of them had lived outside of the USA for several years. Either that or they all just know I am nutz and that they will never talk me out of it.
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Mothering › Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Homebirth › My In-laws are from England, They think choosing HB is just "no big deal"