Eilonwy, break through this wall...Oh, darn.. I made a long post and it didn't stick.
ARgh. Now I have to run out the door.
Listen, Eilonwy, you need to do a quick visualization. The thinking that if you ask for something good and you get nasty stuff as a result needs to be dissolved. That thinking is not helpful for your treasure map and it is totally not helpful for your life and your future in general. It needs to be replaced.
I'm not saying that you are wrong by the way.. I have been there where you have been.. but it took tons of therapy and self awareness workshops and all kinds of thinngs but I broke that pattern.
Here's somethign I am going to offer up.
Do the following visualization. Perhaps in the shower, perhaps in the bedroom. It does not matter where you do it and it should not take too long.. you can do it in a few minutes.
Visualize yourself going way off in the future when you are old and on your death bed. See yourself. And from that vantage point see the Old Eilonwy looking back in time to 2008 and she can see the 2008 Eilonwy. And the old Eilonwy talks to the 2008 Eilonwy and says, "This was the year that my life changed. It was the year that I really understood I deserved a lot more love and good things. When I got that message, it began a whole wonderful life of good affirming experiernces." "2008 was the seminal year of big great changes for me." "I am so grateful for 2008, I built my first really great Treasure map and brought in good things."
After you do that, then build your Treasure Map.
Let's break the habit of bad things happen when I want good. end it on Aries new moon.