Separate beds...so sad

[Grivas]

So, because of my constant, noisy snoring (new since last week), and my 3 - 5 trips to the bathroom per night (now that baby has dropped), my husband has sweetly, tactfully, suggested that it's time to set up the air mattress and sleep separately. It's a practical suggestion since, as he says, we both need to be well rested and ready for labor, when it starts, but my feelings are hurt, anyway. He said he would sleep on the air mattress and I'll have the bed, but that's not the point. Being pregnant shouldn't mean that I sleep by myself with my husband downstairs! I tried not to act hurt, because he's right, but if he loved me wouldn't he suffer silently through the snoring and other disturbances? Logically, I know that we'll be better off (and better rested) if I'm not waking him up all night, or just laying there, needing to pee and not letting myself fall asleep to snore just so I don't disturb him.

I just needed to tell someone else that it hurts my feelings, since I don't want to make DH feel bad. Anyone else driving their partner away at night?

[spookymama]

Poor mama! That must be hard on you. s

The end of pregnancy can be very trying.

As far as the snoring goes, can you try breath right strips.. or can he try to wear ear plugs? Do you think that would that work okay?
The only thing I can think to suggest may be a better mattress if you don't plan on co-sleeping (so, not a cheap/easy solution!). Like one of those memory foam mattresses, that are soundless when you get up?

I am out of ideas otherwise. While it's true that both of you need your rest (you especially), this is also a time that your body helps prepare you and your partner. Soon those trips to get up to pee in the middle of night will be filled with a baby who needs to be changed/feed. So it's the almost same schedule, only a different set of things are happening.

If you can try to talk to him about it, please do. While you may not want to make him feel bad, it doesn't do you any good to feel hurt by yourself.. you know? Hopefully other mommas will chime in with some good suggestions, so both you and DH can be back in your bed together again.

[chely7425]

I think that would hurt my feelings too... my hubby isn't here at the moment but I would talk to him about it. The breathe rights strips sound like a good idea, we got them for hubby and they really helped his snoring! I hope you guys can figure it out s

[~ATenthMuse~]

I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

I *wish* my dh would suggest sleeping somewhere else... And take dd with him!

Just kidding. I like them close, but it's been rough. Glad it's almost over.

[Jennisee]

Since my DD was born four years ago, there have been quite a few times when DH and I needed to sleep in separate beds. Mostly when we were still figuring out cosleeping, but also when I got pregnant and just needed my space. Try to remember that it's a temporary necessity and that it doesn't have to have any long-term effect on your marriage. There are so many other chances in the day to cuddle and connect, and this time will be over before you know it.

[Grivas]

thanks, everyone, for the kind words. I have been using the breathe right strips and they haven't worked, yet, but the directions say it might take a few days... I do think my husband is being sensible, and he would feel terrible if he knew my feelings are hurt. Jennisee, your advice is especially helpful. Thanks, all, for talking me down out of my tree.