wow Arruinna, you really took a lot of time to prove your point. True, I don't like him. True, he is all the things I said he is (if you met him, you'd understand after 10 minutes what I'm talking about), and as I said...I probably should have kept the "should I let her go" post separate from the "I can't stand the boyfriend" post, but I sort of felt they went together, as it meant that I was even less inclined to allow her to go with him after how argumentative and disrespectful he became.
That said, I asked myself and my husband..."if she were asking to go with a boy we liked (and she has a guy friend whom we ADORE...great kid!) would we still have said no?" The answer was that we still would have said no. Too many things could go wrong on a trip like that. While I feel she is maturing at a nice rate, I don't feel she is quite ready for that type of outing.
As for me thinking he is unworthy because of his lack of goals, that doesn't necessarily mean a person needs to go for a 4, 6 or 8 year degree to be deemed worthy. If he were going to a trade school, or had aspirations to be his own boss in a small business, I would think that was wonderful. He has chosen a major that gives him virtually no chances for a career, and has said many times that he doesn't care about school or grades, and that college is just about fun. I think his parents might not appreciate spending 30K a year for him to go have fun! Sure, college is about wonderful times...but if one of my children had the same outlook on it as he does, I would encourage them to stay home, work, and go to community college until they got their acts together. Anyway...I'm not sure you will understand what I am referring to even after my explanation, but while I care about him as a human being and do not wish harm to come his way, he has acted in a manner that is not deserving of kinder words in my eyes. He has made all of my children and ME cry. He has angered my husband to the point of heart palpitations and raised blood pressure. When I said he was obnoxious, arrogant, and cocky...those were truths. If I were to ask any of my daughter's friends to describe him in one word, I have a feeling their words would be far more harsh. Trust me, they've said it to me many times.
Anyway, I made my decision...she isn't going. He made his decision and he is. My second DD asked her sister tonight when she is going to find a boyfriend who treats her with respect. DD1 laughed it off and said "shut up" and play fought with her for a minute, but she knows deep down how we all feel. Now it's up to her to decide her fate. She just deserves so much more, regardless of her academic standing, or what her future holds. If she finds someone who is hardworking and treats her like an absolute princess, we will welcome into our family with open arms.