Kiwi Roll Call!! - Page 3

Hi Tiffani

Welcome to New Zealand. I'm glad we are finally having some good weather to show you how nice Wellington can be. There is an expression here " You can't beat Wellington on a good day!". We live in Strathmore Park too, up above Seatoun tunnel. I don't have a carrier to lend as ours is in full time use but you might be able to find one on trademe. Also the Nappy Network forum is a great place to connect with other kiwi moms. It is cloth diaper focussed but it the OT section we talk about everything. They might be able to suggest where you can rent/borrow a carrier.

http://thenappynetwork.org.nz/phpBB2/index.php


Cheers, Kelly

Hi Tiffani!

Welcome to Wellington! I'd be keen to meet up sometime.

Don't know about carriers to borrow, Kiwis are generally very generous though, and easy to approach to ask for help as well.

thanks AislynCarys and Luca'smum! we should meet up at seatoun beach/park one of these days when it's nice (like today! happy halloween!). So far I'm loving the neighborhood!

I also checked the kiwi section of the babywearer site, but not sure if there has been any response yet...

thanks again, and hope to meet you both soon!

Hi, I'm in Canada now but as you may be able to tell from my username I'm from Southland, Invercargill actually. The best place I ever lived was Dunedin, as an undergrad. I miss NZ--I've been back four times in fourteen years, which isn't enough. It's hard to be so far away from my children's grandparents. And you know what's weird? Having a child with a completely different accent from your own. At least he doesn't call me Mommy!

It is SO hard to be so far from grandparents. That, for me, is the worst part about living here. And probably our only "negative" at the moment.

You say you've been in Canada for 14 years. When did your family finally come to terms with the fact that THAT is your home? My family (in Canada, while I'm here in NZ) don't seem to be able to grasp the fact that we are permanent residents here. We are not planning to move home in the foreseeable future. They assume dh is constantly on the lookout for jobs back home, and that this is temporary. We did live here temporarily 5 years ago, but it's different this time.

I know they just miss us, and they miss our kids. But, man, it's annoying!

And so far, our almost 6 year old still sound like us, but he's getting quite the extensive kiwi vocabulary.

the grandparent thing IS hard -- no matter how much we might love it here, we know we can't stay more than 2 years, because of the grandparent thing. My family is in CAlifornia, and we've lived in VAncouver for the last 10 years, but we *were* always sort of wanting to move to california, so we kept everyone dangling all that time... then I think it occurred to my dad and stepmom that we might not be moving back anytime soon, and they started talking about retiring on Vancouver island to be near us. Well,then about a year later we pulled up stakes again, and now we're here! I do think after this stint in NZ we will move to california, at least for a few years. I'd like to be close to my family for a while.

when we were in canada, we could visit fairly regularly, and they could come see us, but all the way to NZ is a pretty big trip! Do your families come to visit you? I've been trying to think of how I can foster a relationship with the grandparents from so far away, but I don't know how to suggest things without seeming critical of what they're already doing... or not doing. There is a magazine put out by LLL called 'grand' that is for grandparents, I thought maybe I'd give a subscription to that, as I think it has articles about that kind of thing...

anyhoo, holy wind! they weren't kidding!

Sometimes it's easier being away from family, especially mine because they tend to have strong opinions about how I parent, and it's easier to parent from afar, without being criticized for everything.

But it makes me sad that my kids won't have that closeness with their grandparents. My older son will remember them, but my younger will never know a time that we lived close.

And I'm the same as you. I feel there is more they could be doing to foster their relationship (rather than just complaining that "the kids will never know us!!", as my mom likes to do). But they refuse to learn more about computers, and they don't send stuff, generally. They stick to phone calls, which, in my opinion, doesn't do much to foster the relationship. And if I were to suggest things, they'd be immediately defensive and think I was being critical. :

No one seems very eager to make the trip to come see us, either. My parents came the first time we lived here, and I think it's going to take a lot for them to come again. My husband's parents just always have some reason or other that they can't leave home.

Whatever. It's their loss. I learned long ago that it's more important that we make our life really good (dh, me, our boys) rather than worry about everything our families do or want us to do.

I'm also glad that I had a bit of distance in order to find my own parenting legs, so to speak. now that my kids are getting older, though, and my parents are dealing with their own aging parents (making travel difficult for my mom, as she is needed to help with my grandpa) I'm more able to just accept that it will be up to me to help foster their relationship with my kids, because they just don't really know how to do it.

I totally agree that you have to live the best life for the family you're creating -- that comes first. At the same time, I feel like my parents generation is a little bit crippled when it comes to attachment, and I've come to accept that and want to offer help instead of being hurt by it. I really have to fight the feeling that my mom just doesn't really care, because when she cries every time we leave, I can see that she cares, and it breaks my heart that she isn't more able to cultivate attachment -- given her history I'm surprised she does as well as she does, but ultimately I just feel sorry for her, ya know?

and hey, while I have all you kiwis here...
we're going to be camping all over the south island over the christmas holiday, and I'm wondering if we need to try to reserve campsites with the DOC or if those are all first come, first serve -- is there usually enough space, or will we end up sleeping in our car? we'll have tents and a cooking stove and everything, but I don't want to be scrambling for a place to put the tent every time we move... also, we're hoping to head all the way down to the southern tip (down the east side, up the west side) -- is there anything that we should make sure to hit or skip? favorite spots anyone?

I so know what you mean about my parents' generation and attachment. I guess I still am not in a "good" place with it. I understand it, but it still hurts me. I guess I have more of my own healing/processing to do.

I would book campsites ahead of time, especially because you're going during holiday season (both Christmas and school). Top 10 campgrounds are our favourite.

A must see is Milford Sound. It's pricey, but take a cruise through it. It's phenomenal.

Probably when I married a Canadian! That was eight years ago. I don't feel as guilty about it as I might because my own parents emigrated from Britian to NZ when I was five, so I'm just following their example! But there is a price to pay being so far away . . .

For the wedding and for the birth of my second child. They also paid for us to fly over there with the first when he was 13 months. So that was generous and nice!

I recommend staying in the Catlins on the south east coast. It's cheap, pretty much deserted (at least the last time I was there, ten years ago) and so very, very beautiful. Enjoy your camping holiday!