Originally Posted by tiffani
the grandparent thing IS hard -- no matter how much we might love it here, we know we can't stay more than 2 years, because of the grandparent thing. My family is in CAlifornia, and we've lived in VAncouver for the last 10 years, but we *were* always sort of wanting to move to california, so we kept everyone dangling all that time...
then I think it occurred to my dad and stepmom that we might not be moving back anytime soon, and they started talking about retiring on Vancouver island to be near us. Well,then about a year later we pulled up stakes again, and now we're here! I do think after this stint in NZ we will move to california, at least for a few years. I'd like to be close to my family for a while.
when we were in canada, we could visit fairly regularly, and they could come see us, but all the way to NZ is a pretty big trip! Do your families come to visit you? I've been trying to think of how I can foster a relationship with the grandparents from so far away, but I don't know how to suggest things without seeming critical of what they're already doing... or not doing. There is a magazine put out by LLL called 'grand' that is for grandparents, I thought maybe I'd give a subscription to that, as I think it has articles about that kind of thing...
anyhoo, holy wind! they weren't kidding!
Sometimes it's easier being away from family, especially mine because they tend to have strong opinions about how I parent, and it's easier to parent from afar, without being criticized for everything.
But it makes me sad that my kids won't have that closeness with their grandparents. My older son will remember them, but my younger will never know a time that we lived close.
And I'm the same as you. I feel there is more they could be doing to foster their relationship (rather than just complaining that "the kids will never know us!!", as my mom likes to do). But they refuse to learn more about computers, and they don't send stuff, generally. They stick to phone calls, which, in my opinion, doesn't do much to foster the relationship. And if I were to suggest things, they'd be immediately defensive and think I was being critical.
No one seems very eager to make the trip to come see us, either. My parents came the first time we lived here, and I think it's going to take a lot for them to come again. My husband's parents just always have some reason or other that they can't leave home.
Whatever. It's their loss. I learned long ago that it's more important that we make our life really good (dh, me, our boys) rather than worry about everything our families do or want us to do.