2nd babe and feel like it's not being treated the same

[eastkygal]

I am worried that our family will treat this little babe different from DD, especially if it is a boy. My sister already told me she would have a hard time loving another as much as she does DD, though she would try very hard. She doesn't have kids of her own, so I don't know if she truly knows what she is saying. Then, my MIL made the comment last night that she won't come up and be with this one as long as she was with DD. Last time I had my mom and MIL coming to help clean my house the last month - not this time at all. I've needed the help more this time than last time with a toddler and all. No one seems as excited as me, DD, and DH are for this baby. No one hardly even asks about it until recently. Mom and MIL call every week to see if my midwife can tell me what day it will be born. UGH! Has anyone else experienced this? Should my feelings be hurt for my baby, or am I just reading too much into things?

[ChristyH]

s mama

I have been there before, I remember how excited everyone was about my first and how they just swooned over her. It seemed like each baby I had after that was less and less thought of but I did find that it does change after they are born.
This is my 4th and no one except for me and DH wanted us to have another. My mom has finally come around and even calls to check and see how my appts are going but it took her a while.

As long as you and DH are excited don't worry about what anyone else is thinking, that is what I finally had to tell myself.

[amaayeh]

I totally feel the same way, especially since this one is another girl. We pretty much have all little girls in the family and everyone's attitude is 'OH, another girl.' Geez, way to make her feel special. I will do every single thing possible to make sure she doesn't feel that way from me, but it is hard when your family acts like that.

I think part of the reason you don't get as much help from people the next time around is that people can see that you've 'done it before.' Like you can handle anything now that you've done it once. What's funny is that I think you need MORE help because you really need someone around to watch the first (or second, or third, etc.) kids.

Good luck to you. I hope things work out for you (and me, ha!).

[Luv2Skydive]

I'm going through this too......THIRD boy....and there are a ton of boys in the family. My MIL actually called my DH and asked him if he was "Okay". Ticked me off that they did not hide their disappointment about the gender. Before we found out what we were having, they all acted excited and said they wanted to buy stuff when we found out if it was a boy or girl, then as soon as they found out it was a boy, nobody bought ANYTHING. It makes me want to threaten them that I'll tell him when he gets older that they wished he was a girl....I would NEVER do that, but I think it would put in perspective how hurtful it is that they hold this child in less regard than the others. It never ceases to amaze me how other people make MY pregnancy about THEM and their expectations. : (

[anstar]

Yeah, I get that too. I think bc they're so close together. My mom actually went so far as to say that she didn't like me having a blessingway (a friend is throwing one for me) since I already have everything I need! Obviously she didn't get the concept, and I tried explaining, but it just didn't matter to her - even with a "no gifts, please" on the invites.

[lovingmommyhood]

Yes, I worried about it when I was due with my second and it IS a lot different. I'm now pregnant with my third, a girl. Everyone is way more excited now that I'm "finally" having a girl. To tell you the truth it does hurt my feelings but what can you do I guess? Anyway, just wanted to comiserate!