What about nannies making personal phone calls? - Page 5

[Potty Diva]

Originally Posted by karina5

And...we're back On-Topic!! (Yes, I agree with you).

Also, I know there are jobs that exist that making a small personal phone call is very frowned upon - but it is b/c of the nature of the work (eg. Retail or Restaurant work come to mind).

But again, comparing other totally different lines of work to nanny work doesn't make sense.

Where is the common sense in all this?? And what on earth is a parent doing entrusting her children with someone to care for if she can't trust their judgment around a PHONE CALL??

What, is she going to check her personal cell phone at the end of each day and monitor all the calls and times?

UGH. Do people not see how micromanaging someone you TRUST WITH YOUR CHILD like cannot be good?

And indeed we are back on topic.

I was also wondering this. How would you know if they had used their cell phone for personal calls? Interrogate your children at days end? Check their personal cell phone?

Or just trust them?

[BunnySlippers]

Originally Posted by ziggy

You know, reading some of the replies, I'm feeling like it wouldn't be much better to work for some of the posters here.

Mainstream parents all the way It is so much more relaxing- with a few unique issues such as GD, and eating healthy.
Id also never work in someone elses home again. I had a pretty decent employer, except sometimes I had 14 hour days and did not get over-time. She did ask me to clean the house- which I replied is $20 an hour for house cleaning. That was the end of that thought

[*Melissa*]

Originally Posted by avengingophelia

I know nil about nannies, but I wanted to say that I wouldn't consider any job that cared so little about my worth as a human being as to tell me I couldn't have personal phone calls, etc. We have got to move beyond the worker-as-property culture if we're ever going to progress as a society. This is very disheartening.

that:
Disheartening is a good word.

[ziggy]

One summer I had a 5 day a week 8 hour a day babysitting job. Best job ever. It was two women raising their three kids - seven year old twin daughters and a five month old son. They were vegetarian, had no TV, no computer for the kids, etc. It was awesome - so I don't think it's the mainstream or not aspect that makes it difficult to nanny for a family.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by ziggy

One summer I had a 5 day a week 8 hour a day babysitting job. Best job ever. It was two women raising their three kids - seven year old twin daughters and a five month old son. They were vegetarian, had no TV, no computer for the kids, etc. It was awesome - so I don't think it's the mainstream or not aspect that makes it difficult to nanny for a family.

I had a regular job babysitting (nowhere near nannying) for a child one night a week (date night!) for three and a half years in high school. His parents were alternative, vegan, no TV. It was the most peaceful house I knew and I really do think it's predisposed me towards NFL.

However I really think a lot of that is personality - theirs and mine.

[HollyBearsMom]

I have a "professional" nanny (at least according to Potty Diva's description) and she cooks, cleans, organizes and run errands. In fact she was one the one who put these additional items in her contract. :

With our nannies we have always had a work agreement (contract), a confidentiality agreement and a “house rules” agreement. In the house rules it mentions personal phone call, errand running, computer use, friends visiting etc. All are acceptable within reason.

I start out fairly “strict” during the probation stage and then relax the rules as we go along. For example in the beginning it was no personal errands without prior approval. This is so I knew what they were doing, how far they were travelling etc. However at this point my nanny might say to me: Hey, we hit the gardening store today to pick up some plants for my garden. I let (DS) pick out some seeds to plant around her too. We had a blast, he can’t wait to show you his garden.

To me trust brings freedom. At this point my nanny has the freedom to do what she thinks is right. Even so anything really out of the norm she still calls and double checks. I am so sad to lose her this summer. She is opening up her own daycare/preschool.

[ananas]

Originally Posted by mamasaurus

Never heard the term "lay nannies" in my 5 years of having nannies. Where did you pick this up?

I haven't either, and I've been a nanny for years.

Originally Posted by ziggy

Potty Diva, I don't know if I'm reading this right, but I was a *lesser* nanny because I also cleaned and cooked?

That's kind of what I'm getting out if it, too, like if I was a *better* nanny I could make more and do less, but because I'm not, I have to do dirty work, too? I don't think I expresed that thought very well, but this whole thing is just confusing.

Originally Posted by ziggy

One summer I had a 5 day a week 8 hour a day babysitting job. Best job ever. It was two women raising their three kids - seven year old twin daughters and a five month old son. They were vegetarian, had no TV, no computer for the kids, etc. It was awesome - so I don't think it's the mainstream or not aspect that makes it difficult to nanny for a family.

I agree. While it's nice to work with people with similar ideas about raising children, people are people. They all have different personalities, and in the end, that's what it comes down to- not what they want you to feed their kids, but how they treat those kids, how they treat you, and how you "click".

[mamasaurus]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

I have a "professional" nanny (at least according to Potty Diva's description) and she cooks, cleans, organizes and run errands. In fact she was one the one who put these additional items in her contract. :

Excellent point - like I said, the term "nanny" has a very broad range.

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom

With our nannies we have always had a work agreement (contract), a confidentiality agreement and a “house rules” agreement. In the house rules it mentions personal phone call, errand running, computer use, friends visiting etc. All are acceptable within reason.

I start out fairly “strict” during the probation stage and then relax the rules as we go along. For example in the beginning it was no personal errands without prior approval. This is so I knew what they were doing, how far they were travelling etc. However at this point my nanny might say to me: Hey, we hit the gardening store today to pick up some plants for my garden. I let (DS) pick out some seeds to plant around her too. We had a blast, he can’t wait to show you his garden.

To me trust brings freedom. At this point my nanny has the freedom to do what she thinks is right. Even so anything really out of the norm she still calls and double checks. .

I agree with all of this. Especially the "trust brings freedom" part. The nanny/family working relationship is unique. It is not like an office job, BUT it needs to be treated professionally by both the nanny and the parents. It can become very warm and friendly over time.

In short - the professional foundation of a nanny/family relationship can allow a warm, friendly environment to develop.

IMHO.

[Dena]

Back to the phone call topic: My nanny makes an occasional quick call - calling for services for her elderly mom, checking on a bill or other business, etc., and I have no problem with it. When else is she going to make calls? Every job I have ever worked at I made personal calls from time to time, either on a break or during a slow period, and I would expect to give the people I hire the same respect. Bottom line, as long as my children are safe and happy and loved, which they absolutely are, and my 3.5 y.o. clearly looks forward to her "nanny days," I am happy.

ETA: I might feel different about the errands, that would be more case specific. For instance, my nanny took my 3.5 y.o. out for a walk and they walked down to her apt. five blocks away so she could check on her own elderly mom. Sofie thought of this as a fun outing, so that was fine. Ditto if she wanted to go to the library (one of Sofia's favorite haunts), the grocery store (esp. Costco where there are SAMPLES!) or something else that I know Sofie enjoys. Now, if she were going to the home improvement store to spend an hour looking at paint chips, which I KNOW from personal experience my kiddo would classify as boooring, I would NOT be o.k. with that.

[therdogg]

I really think that nobody here said they would absolutely forbid personal calls under any and all circumstances. Sheesh. But some people, like me, have an expectation that generally "work" hours will not be used for personal phone calls, chatting with friends, etc. First, a nanny job is not like an office job in that there isn't a discrete amount of work to get done and how you allot your time is your own business (ie, you can stay late and catch up, so who cares if you run to the bank for an hour during the day?). Rather, it's more like a customer service job in that you are "on" and the quality of your services may become lessened if you are preoccupied with other things. Obviously, some people do not expect their nannies to be as "on" as others. Which is fine.

However, high-end nannies earn $15-25 per hour, and I don't think having a general expectation that she won't be chatting with her boyfriend is outrageous. Or that she won't drag the kids to an out-of-the-way appointment. Obviously most reasonable employers will be flexible and will want their nannies to take care of special circumstances, emergencies, etc. But everyone has different standards, and that's fine too. When I was a nanny, I certainly observed nannies who chatted away for an hour or more, sitting on a bench while their charges happily played. The parents may not have minded, the kids weren't being hurt, all was well. Also, I agree that kids not only don't need someone constantly in their faces, but it can be annoying to be constantly engaged, and it is developmentally important to teach children to entertain themselves for awhile.

[Mccmama07]

I have had the same nanny for four years and she's about to leave (she's pregnant with her first child). Our new one has started and for the next month we are transitioning slowly since my nearly 4 year old is devastated she is leaving.

Nanny is a BROAD term. My nanny did the children's laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, and picked up the rooms where they played. She was always out at the park, the library, playdates, etc-and she always had her phone with her so we could check in, etc. Did she talk on the phone walking back from the library while my son slept in the stroller (of course-I would do the same)-AND don't flame me for using a stroller-I can't expect another woman to sling my 30lb toddler for a mile walk. I might do it, but she doesn't have to.

When my nanny told me she was leaving she broke down and CRIED and thanked me for treating her like a human being for the past four years. We had mutual respect-she did her job and I did mine (I work from home so I'm around). I gave her the space to do her job, didn't undermine while she was at work, and let her bond with and love my child. If I wanted a servant (which I don't) I would have hired one.

Fast forward: my new nanny is a young woman trying to pull herself up from a rough childhood. She LOVES children, is an amazingly talented artist, and adores my two boys. They love her back. I gave her a cell phone (she didn't have one) so that I would feel better knowing if anything happened (let's face it-boys fall down A LOT) then she could call me for help if she needed it. We did a trial period for about 2 weeks to see if she liked us and we liked her-when I asked her if she wanted to stay, she teared up too. She couldn't believe that she had found such a wonderful job.

I work 9-5 so she works 9-5. I occasionally travel so there are longer hours once in awhile. No weekends. I don't want her scrubbing anything-just leave the house the way you found it and maybe fold the laundry if the baby is napping and you're bored. I found when you GIVE people space, they want to do more. At least with these two women.

At her last job she was exploited. There isn't any other way to state. The parents were both doctors-they salaried her and she often worked 12-14 hour days. They required her to bring her own food. She worked weekends too-for even less per hour because there were two kids (she just had the baby during the week). These parents were NEVER home. She made so little she could afford to eat 1 meal a day when she got home. And they made her wear scrubs so she wouldn't "infect" the children with any germs she brought in from the outside.

That is APPALLING and is indecent behavior IMO. She thinks I'm a dream-but I treat her like I treat my children-WITH RESPECT.

Being a nanny is tough stuff. I shudder at thinking how most of them are treated. I just don't understand how people can treat other people so horribly...but I guess some people feel that's ok.