Mourning end of pregnancy

[agnieszkaj]

I have a beautiful 11 day old baby boy. He is happy and peaceful and everything I could ever wnt. He had an amazing and peaceful non-medicated birth, attended by my wonderful midwife and wonderful doula. He is my third baby. (My first two had miserable births that were both induced and medicated.) We waited 6 years to have our new baby, due to some health issues with another child. But, we have been talking about having him - and planning for him - for about 4 years.

When he was 3 days old, I started with the constant crying. I guess that is baby blues. I *am* feeling better and crying much less. But, I can't get over being sad that my baby is no longer inside of me. I miss having him there and feeling him move. I think I am mourning the end of our pregnancy. Maybe I am also mourning the end of his birth, as it was just the greatest experience ever. He may be my last baby, so I may never again be pregnant and give birth.

When I was pregnant, my friends would all tell me to be happy it is almost over, etc. I always told them that I'm in no hurry and that I love carrying my baby inside me.

So has anyone else been where I am? Is this normal? How do I get over the mourning and instead celebrate my beautiful baby being in my arms?
Thanks!

[principii]

I too miss being pregnant! And as my delivery was nothing but the most fantastic and amazing experience, I miss that whole awe as well. I don't have practically any advice for you (except maybe to think of all you can do for him now that you only dreamed of doing before...?) - I just want to reach out and say, oh yes, I know how you feel. I cried a lot too (esp at night).

Take good care!

[Ruthla]

I think this is completely normal. The main thing that kept me going after my first two births was the knowledge that I'd very likely have the chance to be pg again in the future.

I mean, for 9 months you're the center of attention, with this blossoming belly- and suddenly the baby is the star and you're shoved to the background, and your body is just flabby and out of sorts and nothing fits right or really flatters and you can't get unbroken sleep and your boobs are the size of mountains and your hormones are running crazy and you feel like you shouldn't complain about anything because you ahve a healthy baby.

All those feelings are 100% normal (or, at the very least, if they're the sign of a crazy person I was equally crazy after my kids were born!)

I don't know how to "fix this" I guess just accept that it's what you're feeling, let yourself mourn, and move on. And try not to let it interfere with enjoying your newborn- this is also precious time that won't be the same when he grows a little bit!

[Jak's Mom]

I am so glad to have come across your post. I came onto MDC today to post almost the exact same message. My baby boy is 1 week old today and for the past 4 days I have had this feeling of such sadness that I am no longer pregnant and may not ever be again. His birth was so amazing and I can't help but think that it may be the last time I ever experience something so amazing again.
I am so, so happy to have him here - to be able to hold him and love him but I also miss having him inside me. Whenever I look at my two year old it reminds me of how fast the time goes.
Hugs to you - I hope that we are all able fully experience the joy of remembering birth and our new amazing babies.

[Surfacing]

You are not alone. I too have had what I think may be my last birth and pregnancy. During the PG as well I felt sad, thinking it would be my last, wanting to experience it again. My first birth was traumatic, but the second was WONDERFUL and I wish I could do it again!

What helps? Maybe just talking a lot about your feelings.

It is a special time to carry and birth a child.

[flapjack]

Yup, here too. What I would say, though, is not to miss a moment of this time. River has grown so fast and so quickly, it's unbelievable, and we only had a very few precious weeks of newborn-ness. Make the most of it.

[starsrmndmeofyou]

oh i started crying when i read this, i still mourn the end of pregnancy and my dd is 4mo!! i feel bad, but i cant help it. oh hugs , i know what your going through