Queer & Pregnant & due in December '08

[MujerMamaMismo]

I've noticed quite a few Dec DDC members with little rainbow ribbons in their sigs and I know some of you from other places but I thought it would be interesting to get a little thread going here...it's seems like we definitely have the numbers for it!

I'm Jess and my DP and I have been together for almost 7 years. I'm 29 and she's 27. This will be our first baby and although several of our other lesbian friends are TTC or near to TTC, we will be the first in our immediate group of friends to have a kid. It's going to be quite a change for our little community and I imagine some challenges, particularly as our closest friends are quite anti-kid.

I have loads of fears and lots of excitement around being a queer mama and look forward to sharing more with you all over the next 8 months

So, who else is around? Come out, come out, wherever you are!

[JenInMpls]

I'll jump in although I fear we're going to get relocated to the queer parenting forum - although I feel we shouldn't be - since this isn't about parenting, it's about being queer, pregnant and due in December 2008!!!

[Munki'sMom]

I'm straight but wanted to say hi and congrats!!!!! I think you are welcome here! Things will change for you but in a great way! Your friends will become jealous and end up having babies soon I assume. You'll love being a mommy! Heck your going to have it good actually, 2 mommies in the house! Dream come true. lol Wishing you lots of luck and support.

[waldorfknitmama]

I love the idea of two mommies in the house!!! You guys got it made!

[chic2chic]

Originally Posted by naturalmamaof1

I love the idea of two mommies in the house!!! You guys got it made!

:

[JenInMpls]

Originally Posted by naturalmamaof1

I love the idea of two mommies in the house!!! You guys got it made!

ohhhhhhhh... you'd be surprised... at how much my wife is like a husband

no, I'm totally serious.

slovenly? check. watches me clear the table after having put the kid to bed while sitting at her computer when she KNOWS I feel sick to my stomach? check. can't throw her clothes into a hamper but throws them on the floor instead? check.

I could go on but it would sound like I don't love her and I do

[MujerMamaMismo]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

ohhhhhhhh... you'd be surprised... at how much my wife is like a husband

I'm lucky. My DP is totally devoted to making this pregnancy really special and nice and easy for me.

The first few days after the BFP I was a bit worried - DP was shocked and very disengaged but now that the news has settled, she is a complete gem!

I'm very spoilt!

[JenInMpls]

oh, well, I'm spoiled too, in that my wife is very excited about #2 (after taking years to come around to the thought of having 2 children - she's an only child), and she will do whatever she can out-of-the-ordinary to make me feel comfortable or better, like taking us out for pizza tonight - it's just the small, everyday stuff that is just *her* that gets me. Like if she would unload the dishwasher, hang up her own coat, put her toothpaste back in the medicine cabinet and her underwear in the hamper, that would go much further toward making me feel better than constantly asking "Is there anything I can do for you?" when I grumble about my nausea. (Because if she asks that and I say "yeah, you can put your clothes in the hamper and hang up your own coat and clean the cat box before I have to beg you because it's totally going to make me barf if I have to smell it another day!" - that's just NAGGING, you see.)

Maybe it's because we're an old married couple (we'll have been together 9 years end of May)

[JennM1021]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

"Is there anything I can do for you?" when I grumble about my nausea. (Because if she asks that and I say "yeah, you can put your clothes in the hamper and hang up your own coat and clean the cat box before I have to beg you because it's totally going to make me barf if I have to smell it another day!" - that's just NAGGING, you see.)

Maybe it's because we're an old married couple (we'll have been together 9 years end of May)

Ha!!! I totally get it!!! DW has been so sweet...trying to do so many extras. Actually, she's been doing it the entire time we've been TTC'ing. But...honestly...I can't get her to do her laundry before it is overflowing all over the floor! And once she does do it...she can't put it away if her life depended on it!! She just pulls stuff out of it all week...looks at me and says..."this isn't too wrinkled is it?" Uh...yeah...it is. AND...it's annoying me!!!

Ok...enough for my venting. Honestly, DW is the best. I am completely OCD...and I know it. So, she deals with a lot from me. We've only been together for 3 years...but knew right away we were soul mates. I was in a prior relationship for 8 years...and never once thoght about children. But now, I am so proud of our family...and can't wait to make it a little bigger.
I'm 31...blah...31...that still sounds strange. I can remember when I thought people in their 30's were ancient!!! Now...I seriously wonder if I am "grown up" enough for all this!! My how times change. DW is 29...going to turn the big 3-0 in a little over a month.

Anyway...I'm absolutely ecstatic to be here with you ladies...and SOOO looking forward to the next 8 months!!!

[Starfish11]

Welcome, welcome, welcome

How are your towns in regards to gay rights? I hope you are surrounded by support.

[JennM1021]

Hey Starfish...I see you are a Baltimore mama to be as well!!! Actually...I live in Glen Burnie right now...and we're pretty sure we don't want to raise our child there. I think we might need to be somewhere that's a little more progressive. I feel pretty comfortable in Baltimore...but we'll see. Anyway, so nice to see another B-More mama on this thread!

[tigermiep]

hi, ladies!

DW says she will take on more as I get more pregnant, but I'm still the happy homemaker (uh, who works outside the home...).

Jenn -- I'm 31, too. DW is 36. I'm the young'un.

[simcon]

Hi everyone!

My partner and I have been together 10 years, and have a 5 year old, so this will hopefully be #2 for us! We've lived in a bunch of places since Maddie was born--urban, rural, conservative, progressive--and luckily it's all been fine so far being a 2-mom family. My biggest surprise lately is how many of our new friends in this place (we've been here about 3.5 years) have assumed that I had sex with our donor to get pregnant---aaaaaah, no, not last time, not this time, not ever! But aside from having to have a somewhat embarassing conversation (and for me that's a lot, since I share with pretty much everyone who doesn't run away the technicalities of queer conception..), that erroneous assumption is easily dispensed with!

I adore my partner, and she's very sweet when I've been pg, and she also is kind of messy and doesn't much like to cook, so I'm in a similar boat as Jen and Jenn in that respect! Though I have to say, we have very complementary parenting styles, so that's been good.

[RoadWorkAhead]

I'm queer and DID, but I'm in a hetero relationship God only knows where that puts me!

[JennM1021]

Ladies...I'm very excited!!! I just got my second round of blood work back and my double time is well within the normal range!!! They say 48-72 hours is normal...I'm 57...so good to go. They want me to go back for another round of tests Monday just to make sure it's still progressing ok. Anyone else's DR send them for round after round of bloodwork??? I mean..I'm glad to know everything is ok...but part of me is just a ball of nerves all day waiting for that call.

On another note...my dogs have been really really lovey and clingy the past few days. They hang all over me!!!! It's so cute...almost like they know something is up. Wierd! I love my babies.

[simcon]

I think RE's are a little overzealous (some fertility treatments have bigger risks for multiples and early m/c--plus most people who go to RE's have put lots of money and effort into getting pregnant, so do better with lots of reassurance.), and their protocols all differ somewhat. Mine had me come in for bloodwork on days 14 and 17, and then I'll have an ultrasound at 5w6d and another at 7w6d before they send me packing, but I have heard of others who do more repeated betas than mine does.

Yay for doubling HCG--congrats!

[JennM1021]

Yeah, I see your point. I mean...they're probably mostly dealing with women you actually HAVE fertility issues to begin with. Me...I was just missing the "goods" if you know what I mean. Anyway, we've done one at 14DPO, 16DPO and we'll do one at 20DPO. They made it sound like if my numbers were still doubling...they'd leave it at that. Oh...and yeah...ultrasound between 6-7 weeks. THEN...they'll send me on my way.

[simcon]

Originally Posted by JennM1021

Yeah, I see your point. I mean...they're probably mostly dealing with women you actually HAVE fertility issues to begin with. Me...I was just missing the "goods" if you know what I mean. Anyway, we've done one at 14DPO, 16DPO and we'll do one at 20DPO. They made it sound like if my numbers were still doubling...they'd leave it at that. Oh...and yeah...ultrasound between 6-7 weeks. THEN...they'll send me on my way.

Mine I actually started with for the same reason as you, but then lo and behold, found fertility issues to deal with after many months (Hashimoto's thyroiditis, in fact, so I'm on synthetic thyroid hormone for the forseeable future at this point!). And then my IUIs weren't working either, with sperm that our donor had flown in to freeze, so I ended up getting pg on the third cycle of Clomid, with a trigger shot and fresh insems. It was all kind of odd after getting pregnant quickly with my first 2 pregnancies, completely DIY at home on the 2nd and 1st tries, respectively (same known donor). I'm so glad I finally got pregnant again--I was starting to become convinced that I was too old or something! (I'm 34 with fine #'s on all their blood tests except for the thyroid one, so my worry was in spite of all that...)

[JenInMpls]

Originally Posted by Kierdan'sMom

I'm queer and DID, but I'm in a hetero relationship God only knows where that puts me!

Hrm, how about "among friends"? I don't think that anyone is going to (hopefully) get into any arguments about heterosexual privilege here... although I know those fights - no, debates - no, discussions - um - whatever - go around the queer parenting forum now and again.

Originally Posted by JennM1021

Anyone else's DR send them for round after round of bloodwork???

bloodwork? *blink blink* I think it must be the working with an RE, because my midwife took my word that my pee stick was positive and made me an appt for 8 weeks out (Tuesday, FINALLY!). Glad that I am not chasing around getting all that bloodwork - can't imagine dragging a child with me to do *that* every day.

eta: simcon: I'm 34 too and managed to get pregnant in time to give birth before reaching that (obnoxious, ridiculous) big red flag of 35!!!

etaa: miep: I didn't know that M is closer to 40 than 30!!! teeheeheeheehee!!!

[tigermiep]

bump!

bump bump!

hi.

so, are you other queer preggos planning to join any kind of LGBTQ family organization? Our usual tribe is not so full of the queers with kids (Jen and her fam are the exception).