Reposting this, as my original post was too ranty and did not fit in with the forum guidelines. I still really need some help though.
the gist of the situation was this: Niece just had a baby on Sunday. Before she was even pregnant, she told me she wanted to BF any future kids. Seemed really open to the idea. As soon as I found out she was pg, I bought her the Jack Newman breastfeeding book plus "So that's what they're for" She says she read them..and we've been talking the whole pregnancy about BF, I told her I would be on the end of the phone 24/7 if she needed me. I was there at her delivery and helped her latch baby on after the birth.
Saw her the day after she got home and she was doing fabulously. Unfortunately she saw a crappy midwife the day after that who told her to stop BF and use bottles as her nipples were sore - she also said baby was dehydrated, which I don't believe as I had seen him that day and know he had had at least 2 wet diapers (at 2 days old)
She says she has not given up, her milk was then coming in and I told her now was a good time to get baby on the breast as now it would not be as difficult to get milk out for the baby - so less soreness - at least that was my experience with my kids. She has a pump as well, but she says she is continuing with the formula for now and seeing the midwife tomorrow. I just know that this is it...
At what point do you just stop trying with someone. I do feel that I have done all that I can, and don't want to upset her by coming across as pushy, really, she has a lot more support than I had when I was learning how to BF, but I am pig headed and don't quit easily. She is young (22) and surrounded by formula feeders - her MIL is telling her that her son was a very hungry baby and "had" to be on solids by three month and maybe this baby is the same way.
I live an hour away, and can't get there every day, but I have been giving her advice over the phone and have been over twice since the birth on Sunday. I don't really know what else I can do at this point, and have just had to take a step back and leave her to it - she knows I am here, and I WANT to help, but you can't make people BF if they don't want to. She is hormonal, tired of course and had a difficult delivery and I think this is factoring in things right now.
the gist of the situation was this: Niece just had a baby on Sunday. Before she was even pregnant, she told me she wanted to BF any future kids. Seemed really open to the idea. As soon as I found out she was pg, I bought her the Jack Newman breastfeeding book plus "So that's what they're for" She says she read them..and we've been talking the whole pregnancy about BF, I told her I would be on the end of the phone 24/7 if she needed me. I was there at her delivery and helped her latch baby on after the birth.
Saw her the day after she got home and she was doing fabulously. Unfortunately she saw a crappy midwife the day after that who told her to stop BF and use bottles as her nipples were sore - she also said baby was dehydrated, which I don't believe as I had seen him that day and know he had had at least 2 wet diapers (at 2 days old)
She says she has not given up, her milk was then coming in and I told her now was a good time to get baby on the breast as now it would not be as difficult to get milk out for the baby - so less soreness - at least that was my experience with my kids. She has a pump as well, but she says she is continuing with the formula for now and seeing the midwife tomorrow. I just know that this is it...
At what point do you just stop trying with someone. I do feel that I have done all that I can, and don't want to upset her by coming across as pushy, really, she has a lot more support than I had when I was learning how to BF, but I am pig headed and don't quit easily. She is young (22) and surrounded by formula feeders - her MIL is telling her that her son was a very hungry baby and "had" to be on solids by three month and maybe this baby is the same way.
I live an hour away, and can't get there every day, but I have been giving her advice over the phone and have been over twice since the birth on Sunday. I don't really know what else I can do at this point, and have just had to take a step back and leave her to it - she knows I am here, and I WANT to help, but you can't make people BF if they don't want to. She is hormonal, tired of course and had a difficult delivery and I think this is factoring in things right now.
I feel your pain. That is so crappy about the midwife especially 
.
You could give them ideas for how to truly support her without sabotaging her bfing (help with diaper changes, come over so she can nap a little bit, do laundry, etc.) Just a thought.
Mama I have been in your position many times. All you can do is give her the tools and the support she needs. If she uses them great. Believe me, I too wanted to just scream. I poured all of my energy in to my SIL's only to have them quit. Teach by example. It may mean driving the hour to help her and to bf with her or in front of her. It may be too late to change her mind with this dc but who knows maybe when she has the next one she will think about all you have offered her. And shame on that midwife.
