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Sex

post #1 of 27
4/18/08 at 12:21pm
Thread Starter 
When do you all think (or in your experience) is it safe to start having sex again. I have refrained from having sex this first trimester due to some bleeding I had right after sex in early pregnancy.

I am almost 13 weeks now. When do you think it would be safe to start "doing it" again?

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post #2 of 27
4/18/08 at 12:27pm
We never stopped but the spotting I had in the 1st tri was normal and wasn't anything to be concerned about. I'd say it's a personal choice for you. If you feel you're ready and you're comfortable having sex again, then it's ok. Remember that sex doesn't cause m/c's. They happen for reasons you can't change normally.
post #3 of 27
4/18/08 at 12:28pm
As long as your not under any official restrictions from anyone.. I'd go for it!

Most likely if you do have more bleeding after sex it's just your cervix being sensitive NOT any sign of a miscarriage.

Usually they say once you hear the baby's heartbeat (or aka once it's beating.. even if you didn't hear it!).. your chance of miscarriage drops to a extremely low percentile.

hth's,
~Rae~
post #4 of 27
4/18/08 at 12:31pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks girls. When I spotted the first time with sex I knew what it was from so I was ok, but the thought of having sex again and seeing MORE blood scares me lol.

DH wanted to last night but I feel like I want to wait a week or two more.....poor guy
post #5 of 27
4/18/08 at 1:40pm
I would definitely talk to the mw on that one. It seems okay to me if it has been a few weeks. Maybe you could start out in a gentle position (spooning rather than being on top) and go slowly until you see that it doesn't cause bleeding and you are more stable? Follow your instinct. DH can wait if it is for the baby's best interest. I made DH back off most of the whole first trimester (but more from migraines and nausea).
post #6 of 27
4/18/08 at 2:18pm
I think it's fine whenever you're ready. I could care less about having sex lately.
post #7 of 27
4/18/08 at 2:47pm
We have vaginal sex a lot lately and I haven't had any spotting whatsoever. The one time I had some bleeding was when my husband was in a different state and there had been absolutely no monkey business, so go figure.

I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to see any blood, even if you know that it's just from having sex. For that very reason, when I first found out I was pregnant, I found myself reluctant to have vaginal sex. I hope this isn't TMI, and that I'm not being too forward, but there are lots of things to do that won't irritate your cervix one iota - which is how we spent most of the first trimester. You may want to consider those options.

As many PPs have advised, don't do anything if you don't feel comfortable with it. DH will survive.
post #8 of 27
4/18/08 at 2:53pm
Thread Starter 
Crosscat....thank you. We have been doing all the other stuff but poor DH may be getting a little bored with it haha.

As for seeing a MW, we are doing a UP so......

I think I will make him wait it out for another week or two until I feel more comfortable with the idea of going back to it.
post #9 of 27
4/18/08 at 4:39pm
Of course it is fine to have sex during pregnancy but I am in the same boat as you and holding off as much as possible just because I am paranoid as it is and seeing that blood, no matter how much or how little is scary. So, the best thing to do is wait until YOU feel comfortable. DH gets frustrated with me but he realizes that it is my fears of m/c and such that he is good about it. Since finding out we were pg, DH and i have DTD 3 times
post #10 of 27
4/18/08 at 5:54pm
Ditto the pp's. Also, when I had some freaking scary red blood around week 10 (I think) the dr said not to have sex or exercise for one week afterwards. Brown or light colored spotting they said was no problem.

Take it slow the first time... You'll be fine!
post #11 of 27
4/18/08 at 6:35pm
After bleeding/spotting at 6 wks, DH and I didn't DTD for a week. After that we slowly started back up to our usual schedule (okay, not schedule but DH does like to DTD a lot.) I was very nervous, so I made him be very very gentle. And he never got annoyed at the many times I warned, "not too deep."

I totally understand your fear of not wanting to see spotting again. Just take it nice and easy. Lots of foreplay. Make sure you are relaxed and aroused and I'm sure everything will be okay.
post #12 of 27
4/18/08 at 9:24pm
I agree, go when you feel you're ready. Maybe have a very gentle lovemaking session. Or alternately can you help him get relief in another way (perhaps he's ok with helping himself while you tease him/help out)?

I understand how the spotting could have caused you worry and think you've been really sensible. But if you're ready I'd say go for it. DH and I haven't slowed down much and make love several times a week. I joke that we're going to have to buy one of those bouncy baby hammocks because the baby is so used to getting bounced around
post #13 of 27
4/18/08 at 9:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jörð View Post
I think it's fine whenever you're ready. I could care less about having sex lately.
:
post #14 of 27
4/19/08 at 3:47pm
we still aren't having sex...I just can't bring myself to do it....I am too freaked out...hopefully soon for both our sakes.
post #15 of 27
4/19/08 at 5:11pm
Just had some
I wasn't really into sex until a week or so ago but am feeling fine about it now.
Its a cool thing...I was worried for a bit there that my sex drive would never come back.
I think it was the fatigue and my hypothyroid which wiped it out.
I do make sure to use a lube (just don't want to irritate my lady parts due to increased blood flow) and I am on top.
No spotting or anything so far.
post #16 of 27
4/19/08 at 6:33pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks so very much girls. I really appreciate all the comments and reassurance and advice. It feels good to know that I am not the only one here kind of freaked out by the thought of having sex and possibly seeing blood again.
post #17 of 27
4/19/08 at 7:07pm
I understand you are scared but i really dont think sex is going to do anything to contribute to a m/c.
post #18 of 27
4/19/08 at 8:55pm
Thread Starter 
No, I understand that it won't. I am just scared to see blood again, no matter where it is from.
post #19 of 27
4/20/08 at 6:02pm
I think that's perfectly understandable. Poor DH - with DS, we were on a no-sex restriction starting at 12 weeks, and this time, I just feel way too sensitive for any sex. Add to that the constant nauseated feeling, and he's one sad camper. He's such a trooper though, and we do make sure we take time to be loving together, just not with sex. I'm hoping as the 2nd tri gets closer (next week - yay!), I start feeling better. I actually miss it.
post #20 of 27
4/21/08 at 12:01am
One thing that has helped me get over the fear of mc or just spotting is realizing that it is normal very in pregnancy to spot for most women. I have spotted during all of my pregnancies, normally during the same weeks. We usually abstain a bit just because my dh doesn't like it. Know that if you spot after sex it doesn't mean anything bad. If you want to...enjoy it!

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