Personally I wouldn't worry about it too much. One thing I learned with my DS... I think I pushed the math with him too much and he rebelled, he would seem to understand something then totally backslide, just not going the way I wanted it to.
We took a break from math COMPLETELY when he was 8. At the end of each year we do a standardized test (part of a deal with his dad - my ex - so that he won't complain about my homeschooling, we don't mind). The end of that year, he had improved *more* in math than any other year up to then.
Yup. Having done NO math at all, he had improved MORE than he was supposed to WITH a full year of math. He scored well above "grade level".
In other words, what I have learned, is that most math development in the primary years happens *outside* of math 'lessons'. Even "in spite of" math lessons heh...
By observing and interacting with the world, their brains develop mathematical conceptual understandings. Trying to 'teach' a math concept to them that they haven't yet figured out intuitively is next to useless.
A good book on this idea is "Einstein Never Used Flashcards". It's not a perfect book but the section on how math comprehension develops is fantastic.
Anyway, once we stopped 'worrying' about math, he made huge strides. We tried getting back to book-math last year with Saxon, it was okay for awhile but he didn't really like it. Took another break, and now we're back into it again.
He's now almost 10 and is doing grade 6 math (Teaching Textbooks), and loving it. His little brain has developed the right comprehension skills now, so he enjoys math and is actually very good at it. He's developed some really neat ways of figuring things out by not having pressed "standard algorithms" from the get-go. That's mathematical thinking, not just regurgitating facts and formulas.
Another neat thing to know about early math learning is that experience in a Sudbury-Valley-type school. The details are online somewhere... anyway, there was a group of kids who had done NO formal math at all and were now 'grade 6' age. They decided they wanted to learn math, so they made a math class. It was intensive, but they learned the *entire* 6-year curriculum in a matter of weeks.
Anyway... if you STILL decide that you MUST do some kind of formal math, I'd probably suggest something more manipulative-based like Math-U-See or Miquon, more about the exploration than about rote problem-solving. That's what will help him develop real math skills.
And frankly, I don't see the problem with counting. They have to understand what numbers mean, what subtraction means, etc, before you can even think about "memorizing" the facts. There's lots of time for that later.