Calls from online

[gassadi]

My son's friend tells him he gets phone calls from a "girlfriend" he has on a online game. I'm not sure a) how much is true and how much in the new version of lockerroom talk and b) if I should talk to his mom.

I'm unsure because I have no evidence other than my son's conversation. This boy has had a lot of difficulties in the past and I'm not sure if this is one of his attempts to get attention from the other boys in the group or a real event.

He doesn't have a lot of social skills in person and often gets left out of the crowd. He DOES spend a lot of time online and in the past has shown some not so good sense when it comes to being in the cyberworld -- posting pictures of himself and adding non real-life friends to his friends list on websites.

He is being raised by a single mom, who often has her hands full and is sometimes at a loss for how to approach him. I don't want to interfere or make her feel like I'm judging her, but I'm concerned about him.

WWYD?

[Jessy1019]

I don't see the problem with any of the things you described . . . lots of our young friends post pictures of themselves online and add online friends to their myspace profiles, facebooks, livejournals, etc. I do this as an adult, too.

Talking on the phone with an online girlfriend doesn't seem risky or dangerous to me.

[mamabeca]

If you wanted to let him know that you are concerned, and don't feel it's a breach of trust between you/ds or ds/friend, then you might approach the friend and let him know that if he were your son you'd be concerned about some of the stuff he is doing online. Let him know that you really care about him, that you would be happy to talk with him about what is safe to do, and what is really risky. Maybe that might open the door for him to work through his issues? GL!

[TheTruth]

Let him know that he is a massive failure. Because he is. Srsly, an "internet girlfriend" is one of the most fail things you can do.

[Arduinna]

Maybe he does and his mom knows? My dd has daily conversations with her boyfriend she met online in the video game we play.

[gassadi]

Thanks for your replies. I guess I'm over-reacting a bit. The boy just turned 11, so maybe he's more mature than my DS who's a little younger and whom I'd worry about posting personal photos and info on something like MySpace and stuff. I just would feel uncomfortable with a child getting phone calls or calling someone he/she met online. I guess it's an issue I'll have to keep revisiting as my own DS gets older.

[gassadi]

I think I'm also worried about things that may be common sense to an adult, but that kids don't realize is giving out too much information for public viewing. Too much late-night TV involving stalkers, ID theft, and online crime, I guess.