prenatal depression! has anyone had it?

[momma2mom]

I have a 4 y/o child at home and I am 31 weeks prego now. With my first child at 27 y/o I had a great pregnacy and then after birth I got ppd and had to see my doctor. It was before brook shields came out so it was a big no no with all my friend to be have PPd after such a great thing. I went and saw a doctor and they put we on wellbutrin. I only took it for 8 weeks and then everything went back to the way it was. I was so happy with my choice. anyone with real depression knows you can not just snap out of it. I am now 32 y/o and I am 31 weeks prego and when I hit my 27th week I was hit like a train with this depression. I could not get it out of my mind. I thought this can't happen when I am prego, maybe after but not while I have a child in me. Well it did and for 1 week it sucked so bad. I can say that on a scale of 1-10 my life is great it is about a 9 1/2 so I dont have anything to be depressed about, however this depression hit and I can not get rid of it. It was really really bad for the first week since i had it before I knew just what it was.
about a week of crying and feeling no desire for life in general i started to talk about it with a friend who I think had it for a month while she was prego. It felt much better after telling someone. I then got anxiety from thinking about the depression. all day if i was feeling ok that day I would get anxiety that the depression would hit hard again at any minute. so I had to tell my mother and husband. They were very understanding. I did talk to my doctor and he told me to make a apt with a counsler on monday.
I do have my good days and bad days and on my good days I just have to tell myself that someday this will go away.(even though it feels like it is not). I want to be happy about the new baby coming but with this depression it is so hard. I am now 31 weeks prego and have 50/50 of good and bad days I can't wait to see the counsler on monday to see what he has to say.
I just want to know if anyone else has gone through this and what they did and if it went away. It helps so much these forums to talk about it. Thank you for any response.

[Aura_Kitten]

Welcome to MDC!

** coming in from New Posts to say .... I had prenatal depression as well as PPD. What helped me was, ultimately, getting out of a bad situation. Which I guess isn't great advice.

If you're seeing a counselor already, GREAT!


Do you have anyone you can call or talk to, or ask to come over, on your Low days ~ ?

[momma2mom]

Thank you for your response, it helps. I had 2 great days and was hit last night very hard with anxiety. I was up all night and did not sleep.
I had to get into see my doctor and he said it was time to get on wellbutrin.
I am on 150ml that I take in the morning, Today is my first day.
He also said that if I needed to take something for sleep to get some unisom because it was very bad for me not to sleep. well anyway I have my first counslers apt on monday and can't wait. anyone gone through this please post a reply, everything helps.

[notaperfectmom]

I haven't had prenatal depression/anxiety although I am aware of it and know that it is just as serious and possibly as common as PPD but more under-reported. I've suffered from depression/anxiety as well as PP anxiety and PP OCD so I have some experience with the range of crappy stuff that goes with such things....

Good for you for getting the meds. I will tell you that when I started back on meds after DS was born, I wasn't sleeping either. I actually took 1mg of valium a couple of times to take the edge off the anxiety until the meds really took effect. Just to give you an idea....the normal starting does of valium is 5mg and the tablets don't come smaller han 2mg so this was VERY small amount.

Sleep is SO important. When I have panic attacks or trouble sleeping I find two things help. 1) deep slow breathing lying on my back or 2) umm....masturbation (sorry but its TRUE!!!!)

I KNOW getting through the weekend is hard. I've had that experience before. But you will get there. The time is passing even as you are reading this.

Breathe slowly, breathe deeply. You are going to be FINE. I've been in that place before a couple of times. Thinking it isn't going to better...wondering how it can POSSIBLY get better. And you know what? It DOES. I'm FINE...you will be FINE. It does get better. My doctor says that pregnancy related depression and anxiety - if treated - ALWAYS get better. It is one of the most rewarding mental illnesses to treat because people recover. Simple as that. And btw she isn't just anyone...she is one of 5 doctors at a special clinic at Johns Hopkins Hospital who SPECIALIZE in women who have mood disorders related to hormones (pre/post partum, menstrual and menopausal related) so she should know

Hope this helps. Thinking of you and wishing you calm and some sleep....

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I think i'm having prenatal depression right now. i'm 20 weeks and i started to get it with my last pregnanacy around 20 weeks also. I did take wellbutrin for a month or so with last pregnancy. However i have not sought out help yet. I have alot going on in my life to cause depression so i dont feel taht it was brought on by pregnancy. I probably would be going through this prego's or not. IT's hard because i dont even want to get out of the house...dont want to talk with friends anymore...they want to know to much info about my life and somedays i just dont feel like talking about it. I miss my oldest 2 children so badly it hurts inside to think about it. So i do have alot going on to bring this on. I hope that i can feel happy and energetic about this baby soon. As this feeling i'm having now is misserable.

[momma2mom]

ok , so to (notaperfectmom)whoever you are thank you so much for letting me know your story. I cried when I was reading it. I had my first counselor apt today and it went good , I am on day 6 of wellbutin.
It is nice to know that this will pass at somepoint. That is my biggest problem with this depression, is that I think I will never get better. So thank you , I will try the heavy breathing that you talked about and see how that works tonight. Thank you again

[leewd]

me too!

Mine started before 20 weeks PG, but that's when I sought help. My first 2 pregnancies were fine. No Prenatal D and no PPD.

This last one was HORRIBLE!!! There were a TON of life factors to "cause" the depression, but those were just the triggers. My OB put me on 50 mg Zoloft, then I found a Psych who specializes in women, and she upped it to 75 mg. Then recently (PPD now), she upped me to 100 mg.

Prenatal Depression is as common as PPD, but people just don't talk about it! "You're having a baby! How could you NOT be happy?!" Blah Blah Blah!

Anyway, I just wanted to put in my 2cents! We're with you!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Mine started at around 9 weeks pg with my second. I went on paxil and stayed on it until my 7th month then weaned off for the birth.

I had severe ppd with my first and what I now know was pg depression in the last trimester with her as well but didnt get treatment. I was a mess.

I dont know what I would have done without zoloft.

[JericaLily]

I have it right now and I'm seeing a therapist because I realized something was very wrong. I haven't felt that glowing happiness really at all. When I do feel happy, it's fleeting. Part of this really has to do with some family strife and drama going on, with my elderly mother being a huge malicious gossip and really messing with my sister and me. We're both married and stiving for independence but mom's well, "attached" to us and has no life.

[momma2mom]

well i feel I should update this forum and let everyone who reads this know my progress to have hope.
today is day 15 of wellbutrin and I am doing so much better. I did not think the meds were working but they do slowly. I am so happy with my decission.
I can get out of bed with the desire to want to do things
I still have some bad times but they are more just hours of bad times and not days.
I am a better wife and mother to my 4 y/o.
Today was the first day I cleaned the house because I wanted to and enjoyed it.
you can survive from this depression that is what I have to tell myselft everyday.
I am now sleeping better at night and keep a journal at night, it helps.
I am not 100%, but trying to get there!

[Mosaic]

I had it as well, though I didn't recognize it until after I was treated for PPD. I spent most of my pregnancy horribly anxious and planned to have the baby, leave it with DH, and move far away. I had even priced plane tickets and looked into apartments. This baby was planned, but I felt like I had made a huge mistake.

I tried to tell my midwives about my feelings, but they chalked it up to typical first-time-mom jitters. The fog lifted when she was born, but about 2-months pp, PPD set in. I then suffered from PPD for 9 months before finally getting help, and a year later I'm still on the meds. They have helped tremendously, and I now know that I can and need to get help if that ever happens again because that's NOT normal mom-to-be jitters.

I'm glad that you're doing much better and that you can also inspire people to get help!

[momma2mom]

well it is me again and I had to update on the progress. I think it is day 24 on wellbutrin and I have to say I think it has helped. I went to a psyc that is able to control meds because I think I was taking to much . I was on 150xl once a day in the morn and now just today I am going to start to take 100 sr once a day due to not being able to sleep at night (to much energy sometimes).
My sad days are less and less and I do have them.
On the sad days I tell myself over and over, I am due in 4 weeks my hormones are going crazy and that, I am still pregnant and that is that.
it only helps some but whatever I can take.
This is a true journey , not a fun one by any means. I do have a diff look on how to be there for other new mothers and just life.
any way just wanted to update incase my story helps anyone. thanks

[notaperfectmom]

I am SO glad you are feeling better!

I have one thing that might also make you feel a little better if you have a sucky day....

http://postpartumprogress.typepad.co...mom/index.html

A photo album of Ante and Post Partum depression survivors. I know there is at least ONE person in there who identifies herself as a an ante-partum depressive survivor like you.

If you ever need a reminder that this hormone-induced suckiness goes away and that you will get to enjoy your baby, this is it.

Thinking about you and hoping for fewer and fewer sad days and an uneventful and joyful delivery of your little one

[gentleearthmama]

Hi! I just posted in I'm Pregnant, and thought I could post here too.
My good friend is 17 weeks pregnant and her and her partner have split up. She can't eat, can't sleep, is crying all the time and wants to drink beer.
She can't afford counseling, and won't take meds.
Her doctor and doula are both being totally unsupportive.
She lives in another state so all I can do is talk to her on the phone and do research for her. Her support system there is not so great.
We are looking for a non med solution to prenatal depression.
What I have so far is
cod liver oil (she's veggie, so maybe she'll at least take flax oil)
sam-e (anybody use this?)
chamomile and valerian for calming
lemon balm for lifting spirits (this is safe for pregnancy, or no?)
Anybody use flower essences, homeopathy, or herbs to treat prenatal depression? What worked for you?

[autumnbloom]

I'm so sorry you're enduring this! ((((HUGS))))!

Mine hit at about 6 weeks, when I had to stop taking Paxil after I found out about the pregnancy. Its 4 weeks later, and its a BIT better (i'm not living in the dark under the covers EVERY day), but its still really bad. I take *everything* personally, and feel so hopeless/worthless a lot of times.

Its not very well known that prenatal depression does occur, but it very very much does. *HUGS*

[autumnbloom]

ooh - just saw this - be VERY VERY careful with cod-liver-oil and valerian root, as I think they can also trigger contractions (fairly certain on the cod-liver-oil at least!)

make sure to talk to a homeopath or doctor first!

[Surfacing]

Hi Mama, so glad to hear you're feeling better. I too had prenatal depression and went on meds. Made a huge difference.

Must run, baby crying. Be well!

[Septagram]

My brother killed himself when I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with DS1. I definitley lived with prenatal depression and had a raging case of PPD.

[pazerific]

i just have to say i'm so glad to see this thread! i'm 34wks, and have been having problems with anxiety/depression for about a month now. i think it started earlier than that, but it's been bad enough to interrupt normal life for about a month now.

i've been struggling with the idea of going on meds, but i think it's going to be the only thing that *really* helps me. i feel a lot better about going on meds to know that others have had to while pg, and they're glad to have done it. it's so hard to feel guilty about being on meds (because of the babe), but to also feel guilty about not taking the meds because being anxious/depressed affects my ability to be a good mother to dd and partner to dh.

[momma2mom]

well it's me again. I wanted to update everyone to share my story in hopes it helps someone. I am now 40 weeks today and have not had this baby yet. maybe soon. well when I last signed in I wrote that I whent to see a true phy that could control my wellbutrin and he put me on 100 ml sr rather then 150 ml sr that I was taking. It helped so much to go down just for the sleeping part. My anxiety has only been maybe one day and very small. The medication has helped me a lot. I can not tell you how much it has helped.
I still have my crying days but I blame those on the hormones. I still think about it everyday and hope everyday is a good day. I also think about after this baby is born how things will turn out. If I will have to up my meds or will be fine with what I have.
It was a very hard choice going on the meds for someone who is thinking about it but i do not regret it at all.
I now do some things with my friends that I did not want or have the feelings to do before. I now have my food cravings back. I am a better mother to my 4 y/o and a better wife to my husband.
Hope any of this helps anyone that it can.