Ugh! My mother is driving me up a wall

[NaturallyPeachey]

Okay, awhile back I had posted about how my mom wanted to come and stay from April 20th on until two weeks after I had the baby (My EDD is the 27th). I told her that I didn't want people here when I went into labor and I'd like those last few days/weeks to ourselves. So they have been dragging their feet all month about buying plane tickets. I called her on Friday and she says "Oh, did I tell you we bought plane tickets?" No, mom you didn't "Oh, well we'll fly in on Wednesday and then we thought we'd stop by"

Apparently her stopping by is a 24 hour stopping by before they head on over to see my sister and her family (5 hours away). So she's completely ignored my request that we don't have out of town visitors at this time and will be showing up. I'm just really irritated by the whole situation mainly because less than a year ago they lived 45 minutes away and this wouldn't be an issue if they would not have taken off (yes, I have unresolved issues about them moving out of state of their own free will but I'm working on it).

As much as I love and care about my mom I just didn't need this right now and I just needed to vent to some one other than my poor DH who's caught in the middle of all of this while trying to put in extra hours at work so he can be ready to take some time off when the baby gets here.

UPDATE: Thanks every one for the encouragement yesterday. My sweet dad called when they landed and I had been sleeping and was groggy and he said "I know you guys asked to have a quiet week so I think we're going to just head over to your sisters from the airport unless you're going to feel left out" and I said "As much as I want to feel left out I really don't right now so that is fine with me, I think it was just a miscommunication with Mom" so he said it was done and they'd call from the road. My mom called about an hour later and seemed fine with them not coming here and just reminded me a million times to have DH call them when we go to the hospital. So, dad saved the day and you gotta love him for that.!

[chely7425]

Vent all you want!! I am sorry that your mom has ignored your wishes like that... s

[ZoshaMosha]

That's so irritating. I completely understand how you just need your space right now. My mom keeps showing up, too, unexpectedly.

Does she have to come by for those 24 hours? Why can't she just go straight to your sister's until you're ready for her. Maybe your dh can talk to her.

[xekomaya]

Oh thats awful! I would *not* tolerate company right now. I can barely take the phone calls. Can you tell her you'd be happy to see them for lunch, but that she can't stay with you? You did already tell her once you didn't want company and she outright ignored you.

[GiGiQ]

Stopping in from the May DDC to express sympathy. My mom keeps ignoring my request for solitude until after the birth, too. She lives 6 hours aways, but is always wanting to "pop down and go shopping." She keeps her threats vague, so I'm always on edge. "I think I'll be down sometime next week," she says. I had told her a specific date range a couple of weeks ago, said it was the ONLY time I would be up to visitors until after the birth, and she showed up 3 days early. She called me and said, "I'm in town, I got a hotel and I'll call you back this evening." The stress of having her around makes my blood sugar go crazy and I actually spent a night in the hospital last time she was here because of it, but in her mind that's just further proof that I need her here to take care of me.

[kjoy2]

You obviously really care about your Mom since you were and still are upset about them moving so far away a year ago. At the same time, every woman is different at the end of a pregnancy. I, like you, find that I crave solitude and company of my DH most of all.
Can you express to your mom that you a.) love her and cherish her support, as always; b.) think she will be a wonderful grandma and are looking forward to spending time with her a few weeks after the baby is born (is your DH going back to work? you can throw in that you'll really be needing her and her help then, too.); c.) right now the best way she can support you is to allow you space and solitude to center yourself in preparation for birth (or whatever phrasing works for you).
My Mom had been calling/emailing daily and expecting immediate responses, and it was stressing me out. I sent her an email, b/c I'm better expressing things in writing, and she totally understood my needs and has since been respectful.
If you think that *lunch* is do-able with her before she heads to your sister's house, then suggest that. If you really don't think you're able to handle her company at all right now, be honest with her.
Hope it works out for you.

[NaturallyPeachey]

Thanks Mama's. I really needed to hear that I'm not making this a bigger deal than it is. I stopped working the week before my due date so I could relax and re-energize after working for six months straight with no vacation time and being pregnant and I have really been enjoying having quiet time and DH all to myself (okay and the remote control all day while he's at work too ) I tried to get them to go straight from the airport to my sisters house but the response I got was "Well, it's supposed to rain and if our flight is delayed that would put us in rush hour traffic....." I just can't believe how disrespectful she is being and it's so hard for me to say no to her being that she's my mom and all. I did leave long silences in between my answers and her demands in hopes that she would subtly pick up on my irritation. I'll keep you posted. T-minus 28 hours until her arrival

[Jennisee]

I just wouldn't answer the door. But I'm a b**** like that.