|DS has a low level sensitivity to wheat and milk, but not cheese. I don't understand how cheese can be ok when milk isn't.
I don't completely understand how this can be, but it's our situation too. Our old chiro, using muscle testing, said cow's cheese was ok (and yogurt and other fermented products) but not cow's milk. We weren't drinking straight cow's milk at the time anyway (I'd already seen it didn't work for me), but cheese was fine for my son (older baby/toddler-age)--we ate it frequently. But when I first gave him a bite of the ice cream I was eating, he threw up. Weird, but I waited a month or so and wanted to see if it was just a coincidence--nope, happened again. I _think_ the explanation I got involved changes in some of the protein in the milk during the cheese-making process (same with yogurt).
The Garden of Eating is grain-free and dairy-free, so it may be of help. But it still sounds like there are other things you'd need to check.
Good luck with all this. Eating TF has been a part of our healing as well, but a lot of different things have fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Although exhausting and disheartening at times, overall this process has been quite the learning experience for me and has broadened my horizons in unexpected ways. It has been a blessing (and I make sure to remind myself of that when I'm feeling down