Siblings at birth: ages, preparation, how did it go?

[AmieV]

My girls will be almost 4 and almost 2.5 when this baby arrives. I am hoping maybe at least the oldest will be able to be there. (though obviously I won't force her)

Just interested to hear stories of how it went. My labor slowed considerably w/ #2 until my oldest was off and taken care of, so I'm also sort of concerned about being able to "let go" enough to birth with my other small children around. I'm sort of hoping it'll be at night and they can just wake up to a new sibling!

[starshine1001]

My DS was 3.5 when his brother was born. We let him decide if he wanted to come into the room or not, and he did. We had only explained that his baby brother was going to be out of mommy's tummy soon, and when we went to Miss Harmony's house (the birthing home), he would be coming out. Then when I got a little vocal at the very end, he got worried and asked "Is Mommy O.K.?" Then between contractions, I reassured him that I'm fine, and Mommy has to make noises like that to help his baby brother come out. He was fine with that. He watched the birth, and when his little bro was crying, he just kept saying "It's O.K., Bubby! It's O.K.! Don't cry!" He talks about how "Baby Gavin came out of Mommy's tummy!" all the time. Just the other day, he said "Mommy said 'AAHHH!' and Baby Gavin came out of her tummy!"

[sarahn4639]

My DD was the same age as your youngest when James was born. You can see a slideshow in his name in my sig that shows the birth, including DD. We had talked about it a lot at the end of my pregnancy. We watched her birth video so she was familiar with the noises I might make. I also showed her some homebirths on you-tube. We talked about mommy working hard when the baby was coming, that mommy might have some owwies but that it was okay and mommy would be fine. We talked about the baby coming out of mommy's vulva, who would be here, ect. I wanted her to be prepared so she could be "in" the experience rather than scared of it. Granted she was very into the whole thing and loved watching the videos and talking about the baby coming. If she wouldn't have cared I'm not sure what I would have done. As it was, she woke up just over an hour before he was born. She checked in with me and we talked a little but I was in serious labor at that point. She had breakfast and read some books and was close the whole time. She only got worried when I groaned loudly while pushing, I just told her that this was the owwie part and it was okay and the baby was almost here. She was like "okay" and ran to watch him come out. It was wonderful having her there, I love that she got to bond with her baby brother immediately and she understood how we got him. Good luck! I loved having my daughter persent but so much of it depends on the kid.