who's got a newborn and toddler at home?

[ltk]

I am looking for any helpful hints, routines or things that help you when you are at home alone all day w/ your kids! I am not tandem nursing, so that isn't going to keep us busy at all.....thanks in advance! my boy is almost 2, baby 2 weeks old!

[mkmama]

No tried and true advice YET...my DS turned 2 yesterday and i want to have the baby tonight (no i am not in labor and no real signs. blech)

However i have a stash of new toys, quiet toys that i can bust out. I got him a new movie to watch for dire need (he watches about 30 minutes every othe rday usually, but i have a feeling we may be busting out the videos more often...). I am going to keep some secret snacks by my breastfeeding chair so i can get him something nutrious/special if i'm having a long nursing session. for when i'm not nursing baby i got some fun activities for just "us" time, like painting which we hardly do, and a homemade playdough recipe for fun...and trutfully if he has a ball and my foot to kick it back to him he'll be happy for at least an hour.

[mkmama]

Oh, and congrats on your darling! Was wondering where you went...like we didn't know! but glad to hear you are well and your daughter has joined you.

[ltk]

Thank you! Azara is a sweet baby. we had a three day battle with jaundice, but managed to nurse her through it. My in-laws are here helping till the weekend and then it's me!

SOmeone mentioned the snack idea. I think that's a great one. Gonna dig up some activities on line too.....and obviously the moby wrap will be forever in use! we should keep each other posted.

Hope it happens tonight! I feel your uterus. As my friend told me, 'now your uterus is retired from active duty" what a relief!!! happy birthday to your ds!

[BensMom]

I'm just checking in b/c I want to hear how others are doing. When DD was born, DS was almost 5 so it was very different. I am also worried about dealing with all 3 this summer, with DS in the "I'm bored" stage and DD who want to go, go, go all the time. Should be fun.

[ltk]

I am seriously. scared!

[rubyeta]

I am having a really hard time, now that dh is back at work. My new baby cries a lot and wants to be held ALL the time. Which i dont mind of course, but DD is really needy these days. Especially when Asher is crying. She wants to be carried all the time. i am trying to give her every bit of my attention every time i am able to put him down or if he is sleeping in the sling. I am just feeling like i dont have enough to go around. She has been an gry with me and hitting me here and there. I know this is normal and a short lived phase, but it is really hard. Sorry... I dont mean to scare you still pregnant mamas with toddlers, but you want honesty, right??

[pixiepunk]

with warm weather here or on the way for most of us, that's a big life saver. get 'em out and run 'em around as much as possible. not only will it keep them busy/distracted/happy, but it will wear them out which makes bedtime easier too i'm soooo grateful to be having a spring baby, so i don't have to worry about being stuck in the house too much with all three of them. we have a pool, so i imagine a large chunk of the summer will be spent in it! and we've got playgroups at least once a week we can go to at area parks, story hour at the library... time goes so much quicker when you stay busy. so once baby is old enough where you feel like you're ready for regular outings, keep 'em busy!

for times at home, i always kept a stash of good books next to the place i usually nursed DS, so DD and i could cuddle up and have a story while i was nursing. and i would try to get her a drink and a snack before i would sit down to nurse (if she seemed like she might want one). i was tandem nursing, but rarely nursed them at the same time. i tried to keep DD's nursing session limited to preserve my sanity.

when the baby was sleeping DD and I did fun stuff together like painting and playdoh and baking cookies. or sometimes just sitting alone together and reading or doing a puzzle or snuggling (or if i was really lucky, taking a nap!).

after a bit when DS was old enough to be without me for about 1.5 hours and i was comfortable leaving him (with DH), DD and i started taking a parent/child yoga class together. it was 45 minutes long. we had soooo much fun doing it, and it was our special mommy/daughter time together. it's one of the things i miss having access to where we now live. but any kind of special outing alone with mama is going to be cool, even if it's just to the grocery store, kwim? making time for those moments really helps.

we definitely did lean on the TV a bit in the early days when it was too hot and muggy to be outside (DS was born at the end of July), and i didn't feel the least bit bad about it. it was a real help in those desperate moments when you're just exhausted and touched out and need to be able to just veg for a little while to recharge your batteries.

remember, too, the first couple of months are just challenging. everybody's trying to find their place, figure out the new dynamic. and mama is tired and feeling overwhelmed. and while it seems like those first couple of months drag on forever at the time, they really are so fleeting, and before you know it the baby isn't nursing quite so much and everyone is sleeping more and the baby is more alert and fun for the older sibling to play with, and then they start being able to entertain each other. and man, lemme tell ya, that is *nice* ! my kids are 26 months apart, and they are such good friends and play so nicely together. it's been such a joy to watch their relationship blossom

[tinyshoes]

now my babies are giant, but 5 years ago.....

I had a 2 year old and a newborn. It was very difficult and challenging.

It is OK to feel overwhelmed, and living in "survival mode" is OK!

The TV can be your ally--let your 2-year-old watch, even if you don't normally use TV....it is a lot to ask a mother to care for both a toddler and a newborn without help, so if there's not an auntie or a cousin or friend or granny there to help, time to pop in a DVD.

If it seems like this is the hardest thing you've ever done, and that you're just running around "fighting fires" (like, change a diaper, get snack for toddler, wipe toddler butt, nurse newborn while you watch toddler dump out a box of toys.....) you are doing TOUGH WORK and it is VALUABLE work even if it seems tedious and horrendeous and you've not had a shower.

Things will get better. And whatever you're doing now is good enough.

I sit here knowing that no matter what kind of post-partum I have this time around, it will be CAKE, because I already DID 2-year-old + newborn post-partum.

[spookymama]

*raises hand*

Ds is almost two, and our little one is 9 days old. Our son is horribly mad at me (pinches/hits/bites) because my lap has a one child occupancy which is held by his sister. Poor little guy.. I know he doesn't really understand, and he has trouble expressing what is going on. He doesnt talk much, so I can just imagine how much trouble our bundle of chaos is having.

We're doing parks when DH gets home, and bath time is me and ds's mommy and son time. I need to carve out a few more times a day when its solidly just us.. even if its a few minutes. It's hard when I am not able to pee by myself..

I also cuddle him whenever i can.. which is never long enough. Usually his sister needs to nurse, our time is cut short.. then he tries to get held by me, getting mad when he can't. i dont forsee this getting much better until our LO is on a more set schedule.. where i can hand her off to dad.

The good thing though is that DS is not lacking any attention from our relatives at all. Its all about him when people visit. Mostly that is because this LO is attached to my boob, and unless they all want to fawn over my boob.. fawning over the baby for long periods of time is out.

[melanyh]

i have a guy who is 4.5 and at the risk of sounding like a terrible person/mother -- i'm in freakin' HELL.

zachery is so demanding and so jealous of soren -- god. i'd never have imagined. my MIL is here this week and helping and thank goodness for that b/c the week we were alone, trying to give each person enough attention was a fruitless cause.

thank goodness he has preschool three days/week for part of the day-- then i can just submerge in newborn hell in peace. i know that sounds terrible, but i'm suffering PPD, too ...

soren is very mellow -- your typical 2nd child, the mellow one who sits back and lets the other more boisterous one suck up all the attention. but even the most mellow of newborns require tons of attention ... boy, isn't THAT revelation, like you all didn't know that!

i know right now there's too much TV and too much yelling & i just hope that we soon settle into a better routine or pattern and Z can get more used to the idea of soren.

and i'm partly ticked b/c dh is a sports writer -- mostly hockey -- and those darn Dallas Stars won their first playoff series so now he has more work! : i'm glad for the money, i guess, but i want my dh home w/us!!

wah-wah-wah...

[mytwogirls]

Hey mama, I had a newborn and a 16 month old. My youngest is 9 months and I we are all still surviving! It is ROUGH those few weeks and I suffered from PPD and I was recovering from an emergency hysterectomy. What saved my life was my DH. He would stop by in the middle of the day and feed my oldest daughter lunch and play with her one on one so I could do a few things I needed to get done. Night time really sucked the big one because no one wanted to sleep for some reason or another. But, schedules started developing over time and my oldest finally got it through her head the babe was not leaving and she eventually learned to play a little on her own while mommy was busy. She is still very needy and demanding (what 2 year old isn't?!) and my youngest is so laid back and easy going and smiles at everything...thank GOD! I cried a lot, cursed a lot and contemplated leaving the U.S. (ok, not really, but it sounded good at the time) during those first few weeks. I was so confused, scared to death, and panicky because I am person who loves order, schedules and neatness and it all went flying out the window and you have to learn to let stuff go and get through the day the best you know how. You will learn what works best. Ask for help and accept help if offered. Good luck mama.

[KariM]

My DD is a bit older - a preschooler rather than a toddler - at 3 1/2.

But here's our routine -

Wake up and nurse the baby.

Change diapers and get clean clothes on both kids.

I set up my DD1 with some Dora videos on the bedroom computer. I put the babe in her bouncy seat and bring her into the bathroom with me while I shower. I shower and get dressed, etc.

We go downstairs for breakfast. By now I often have to nurse the babe again.

Then I put the babe in her Hmong carrier and I make breakfast for DD1. I usually am able to eat with her as the babe is sleeping in the carrier.

We then sit at the dining room table and play games and read books for about an hour while the babe sleeps on my chest in her carrier. This "filling of the cup" will usually keep my DD1 content for a few hours.

Another nursing for the babe and diaper change.

Then DD1 and I try to take a walk or do some more active play in the house if the weather won't allow us going outside.

What I found that works well for us while I'm nursing the babe is to sing songs with DD1 or talk about things she might play. As long as I'm engaging her in conversation she stays pretty well content during the time I have to nurse her little sister.

Around that time we'll start to get lunch ready. Again, the babe is in the carrier usually.

We'll sit down and eat and usually get another hour or so of game playing or reading at the table.

Afternoons are pretty much a repeat of the morning again.

Lately DH has been taking afternoons off and getting home around 3PM instead of his usually 5PM. That brings in a diversion for DD1, too! She has her Dad to interact with in the late afternoon. He took one week off of work for the birth and early postpartum period and now he's coming home early for a few more weeks.

I still can't lift things like laundry baskets, etc. without my bleeding increasing so he's on laundry duty and does a lot of the dinner cooking for us!

ETA - the other thing I'll do when I really need a break or DD1 is being difficult is play her a Barney video on the computer. We split screens and she can watch Barney (youtube has a bunch of clips) and I can read on MDC - easy to do while holding the babe!

[momtoafireteam]

I have a newborn, an 18 month old, and two 2 yr olds. And a 5 yr old.

I just do what I need to do to get through the day. We are eating a lot of take out. I do not care. My kids play in the backyard A LOT. lol. And we got to storytime 3x a week where the kids can be entertained and I can SIT. Good Luck, it will all be OK.