"When I grow up, I want to marry *sister*"

[2shy2post]

What do I tell DS about this? (he's 5)

The first time, I said, "Oh, that's so sweet, I'm glad you love your sister so much."

Then he asked me if he could marry her and I said, "No, you're too young to get married"

Then he said, "No when we're grown ups. I want to marry *sister*."

I'm sure there's a simple answer to all this ~ but for the life of me all I can think of is "because that's gross" (which, I obviously didn't say to him )

[HappyHomeBirther]

My sil got married last July, and my older kids were part of the wedding. Ever since they play "married" at least once a week, where they reenact the ceremony, complete with a sweet little smooch on the lips =) Honestly, I don't say anything at all to them about it. To them it's a game, just like any other make-believing that they do. If you really want to say something, I'd say something along the lines of, "we don't marry our brother or sister silly! You have to wait until you meet a nice person that's not your sister to marry!" , or something.....

[dimibella]

This topic came up somehow with DS but I can't remember the exact situation, just that it was a family member. I told him that we just aren't meant to marry family members and that he would find someone wonderful to marry when he grew up. That was all I could think of at the time that didn't include DNA and possible genetic abnormalities, because that was the first thing that came to my mind.

[saimeiyu]

I would just tell him that one of the reasons that you marry someone is because you love them and you want them to be part of your family. Your sister/cousin/whatever relative is already part of your family, so you don't have to marry them.

[Yo Becca]

Originally Posted by saimeiyu

I would just tell him that one of the reasons that you marry someone is because you love them and you want them to be part of your family. Your sister/cousin/whatever relative is already part of your family, so you don't have to marry them.

:

DD told me that when she grows up, she'll maryy daddy, and DS will marry me.

[IdahoMom]

It would sure make it easier to deal with the in-laws. . .

[LynnS6]

My kids have been telling me this for about a year now. They're going to grow up, get married, and "have 2 kids, a baby and a dog." "And a cat," ds will always add. They're going to live right next door to us. Ds is going to be a bus driver, dd is going to be a ballerina. Ds told dd the other day "you'll have to make sure you're home from work early enough to pick up the kids from the bus stop."

I haven't said a thing. I figure they'll learn soon enough that you don't marry your siblings.

The only time I almost lost it was about 2 weeks ago, when dd (3 1/2) finally asked the "how babies are made" question. We'd been through the "there's a sperm from daddy and an egg from mommy, and together they grown into a baby" several times already. "No, mom, how do the sperm and the egg come together?" she insisted. So, I calmly told her "well, the sperm come out of daddy's penis. So, mommy & daddy put daddy's penis into mommy's vagina, and the the sperm go up and meet the egg." We then had a discussion about how children's body's weren't ready for this and you had to wait until you were a grown-up to do this.

"Oh," dd replied. "When I get married, I'm going to do that with *brother*. :

I can only hope she doesn't repeat this to ANYONE outside the family!

[kythe]

My kids occasionally play "Mommy and Daddy", but I don't worry about it too much. I think it's a pretty normal phase for siblings to go through.

When I was a kid, my younger brother once told some people at church that he was going to marry me. I was terribly embarrassed because I was old enough to know better, but some adults around laughed it off and told me to take it as a compliment. It meant he loved me and was happy I was his sister.

[attachedmamaof3]

I wouldn't say a thing. He'll realize soon enough that he can't marry his sister. That is a cute phase though!

[pinksprklybarefoot]

I remember playing "house" with my little brother when we were little. We had a tribe of 20 stuffed animals that were our kids (see what happens when you mix sibling DNA?).

We turned out fine. That line from LynnS6's dd had me rolling, though!

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by attachedmamaof3

I wouldn't say a thing. He'll realize soon enough that he can't marry his sister. That is a cute phase though!

Yep. My dd says that when she grows up she'll marry her brother and they'll live in a "department house" in Sacramento. (That's where her godmother lives.) I'm not going to burst her bubble. I think she'll figure it out on her own soon enough.

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

"Oh," dd replied. "When I get married, I'm going to do that with *brother*. :

I can only hope she doesn't repeat this to ANYONE outside the family!

[mamazee]

Originally Posted by 2shy2post

What do I tell DS about this? (he's 5)

The first time, I said, "Oh, that's so sweet, I'm glad you love your sister so much."

Then he asked me if he could marry her and I said, "No, you're too young to get married"

Then he said, "No when we're grown ups. I want to marry *sister*."

I'm sure there's a simple answer to all this ~ but for the life of me all I can think of is "because that's gross" (which, I obviously didn't say to him )

My daughter swears up and down that she'll marry me someday. Though once she said she was going to marry the cat.

My guess is she'll eventually change her mind.

[SAHDS]

Originally Posted by attachedmamaof3

I wouldn't say a thing. He'll realize soon enough that he can't marry his sister. That is a cute phase though!

I agree.

My sister went through this when she was 5 (I was 12). She swore when she grew up, she would marry our dad. Of course, that was easier since I simply asked her what would happen to her mom?

A while back, DS said he was going to marry me, but he was just joking. I think it's adorable. Must be doing something right

[akaisha]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

The only time I almost lost it was about 2 weeks ago, when dd (3 1/2) finally asked the "how babies are made" question. We'd been through the "there's a sperm from daddy and an egg from mommy, and together they grown into a baby" several times already. "No, mom, how do the sperm and the egg come together?" she insisted. So, I calmly told her "well, the sperm come out of daddy's penis. So, mommy & daddy put daddy's penis into mommy's vagina, and the the sperm go up and meet the egg." We then had a discussion about how children's body's weren't ready for this and you had to wait until you were a grown-up to do this.

"Oh," dd replied. "When I get married, I'm going to do that with *brother*. :

I can only hope she doesn't repeat this to ANYONE outside the family!

first of all, good for you for teaching your DD the proper way babies are made, i hope i end up being as honest with my future kids as you are. but OMG! is all i can say to what your DD responded with. kids say the darndest things, eh?

[Momily]

I'm a believer in paying attention to what your child means as opposed to the words that actually come out of her mouth.

So, in this case I'd probably say -- "You really love your sister don't you? It sure would be fun to live together when you're both grown up!" since that's probably what he's imagining.

If he asks you outright if they can get married you could say "X will always be a part of your family, so you don't need to marry her. Marrying someone is a way to add someone new to your family."

[Phoenix~Mama]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

The only time I almost lost it was about 2 weeks ago, when dd (3 1/2) finally asked the "how babies are made" question. We'd been through the "there's a sperm from daddy and an egg from mommy, and together they grown into a baby" several times already. "No, mom, how do the sperm and the egg come together?" she insisted. So, I calmly told her "well, the sperm come out of daddy's penis. So, mommy & daddy put daddy's penis into mommy's vagina, and the the sperm go up and meet the egg." We then had a discussion about how children's body's weren't ready for this and you had to wait until you were a grown-up to do this.

"Oh," dd replied. "When I get married, I'm going to do that with *brother*. :

I can only hope she doesn't repeat this to ANYONE outside the family!

LOL! I would have never been able to keep a straight face for that one!


I'd say they will find out eventually they can't marry. I didn't have any brothers, but I know I was going to marry just about all my boy cousins at some point and time in my youth.

[4evermom]

Originally Posted by IdahoMom

It would sure make it easier to deal with the in-laws. . .

Now it's seeming like a good idea...

But seriously, no need to do a thing. He just means he loves his sister and is trying out words and concepts. My ds wanted to marry me and have me be the mother of his children. His female cousin wanted to marry him. He has also considered marrying the teenager across the street but he wanted her to live at her house while he stays with me.

[kewb]

My two used to say they were going to marry each other when they grew up. I still remember how upset ds was when I said they would not be able to marry. I then told him that if he still wanted to marry his sister when he grew up we would find a way. He is now 10 and believe me, he does not want to marry his sister anymore. Enjoy the stage while it lasts.

[Doodlebugsmom]

Originally Posted by attachedmamaof3

I wouldn't say a thing. He'll realize soon enough that he can't marry his sister. That is a cute phase though!

When my kids first told me that they wanted to get married when they grow up, I told them you can't marry a brother or sister. They got so completely upset and bent out of shape that I said, "Well, if that's what you really want..." I KNOW that in several years they'll be completely grossed out that they ever thought that. It is too cute, though.