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Modest Dressing Mommas - Page 12

post #221 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama_nomad View Post
hello, Mamas. I am just recently feeling a pull to dress more modestly now that i have had my third child....i am not religious but after my amazing homebirth it has brought my husband and i's marriage to a whole new level, and i feel like i would like to keep my body a bit more "of a secret", for his eyes only.

i bookmarked that head covering site right away! what i am interested in is making myself some bloomer/pantlettes to wear under skirts. i have not gone through this whole thread (not enough time!) but could anyone point me toward links to bloomer patterns or sources?

thank you!
I never thought of bloomers, actually! I've been buying up those capri-length leggings that EVERYONE seems to be wearing, and layering them underneath skirts. You can get them at Kohl's for $5 (if you have a Kohl's near you).
post #222 of 601
You can get bloomers at www.theplaydress.com I get dd's dresses from her.
post #223 of 601
I have read through about a fourth of these posts and I'd like to introduce myself and share a few of my thoughts.

I was raised in a very religious community (Jewish) and at some point, I rejected it. I went through a phase particularly, of rejecting the strict standards of "modesty," which I felt, and still feel get mixed up with demonizing the body, and with sexism. About 4 years after I got married, I like to went through a stage wore tight jeans and tight, tight tops, and bikinis at the pool, etc.. I assure you, I got a lot more attention that way (not from dh who did not like it), and it can be sort of addictive.

However, I have since come to appreciate the idea of modesty. I don't feel that bodies are evil, or that sexual impulses are bad. In fact, we all want to be looked at as a sexual object at times--it just needs to be from the appropriate person in the appropriate situation.

I have really started dressing much more like the women in the community in in which I was raised, minus some of the aspects I find silly. For example, I live in Texas--it is regularly in the 100s for weeks at a time. I do not feel compelled to wear black stockings under sandals in the summer. I think I can be perfectly modest and I don't think I am causing any strange men to go into paroxysms of lust at the sight of my toes. I also wear pants suits at work frequently. I am a professional, and it is appropriate. I wear very loose pants that do not emphasize my curves, and I never show chest (not big enough to have cleavage). But generally, I just cover myself--not because I feel bad about my body, but because I don't like to attract attention to myself in an inappropriate way.

My dd is 11, and I find that I am just trying to get her to understand appropriateness. She is totally "fine" with not wearing short skirts or tight jeans so far. She loves the long, long skirts. It of course helps that she has many Orthodox Jewish girlfriends, and went to an Orthodox school for a long time, though we have since moved.

I have come to believe that it is all about what is appropriate for a given setting, and not wanting attract inappropriate attention from the wrong parties. Ultimately, it is about self-respect, and feeling confident enough in yourself to not have to feel that you need to dress provocatively in order to feel good about yourself. If you are married, I think it is also about respecting your spouse.

I have a question for head-coverers. I mentioned that I am a professional--I work full-time. I do not cover my head at work. Most Orthodox women often wear wigs at work or "out." I hate wigs! They are uncomfortable, expensive, and hard-to-care-for, IMO. I am fine with a tichel (scarf) or hat in other settings, but it just doesn't look right with a business suit. I am also not in an area with many Orthodox women or Muslims, so it is very, very rare to see women with covered heads. If I wore a tichel at work, I'd just attract a lot of unwanted attention. Any ideas?
post #224 of 601
Hey, rivkah!

Have you tried to find hats? Some suits look lovely with hats. Maybe you can also wear a snood, depending on the outfit.

Sadly, I've found that the only headcovering that looks truly "professional" is a hijab.
post #225 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
Hey, rivkah!

Have you tried to find hats? Some suits look lovely with hats. Maybe you can also wear a snood, depending on the outfit.

Sadly, I've found that the only headcovering that looks truly "professional" is a hijab.

I think you are right! For some reason, I'd feel fine wearing a hijab. Maybe because it is so different, people wouldn't comment, and everyone knows that many Muslim women wear hijab. However, If you wear a snood or a hat to an office in Texas, you just look weird. I guess I could say, "I'm Jewish," but that would puzzle people too, because most of the Jewish people in this area are not very religious and very few dress "frum."

Maybe I will try to see what I can do with a hat. Honestly, I don't know that I am all that committed. I am pretty much happy if I cover my head while praying.

Here is a site with a decent selection of long skirts in the $30-40 range:

http://belowtheknee.com/
post #226 of 601
Alternatively, there are things called 'falls' which are half wig, have nothing, and you cover with a headband, scarf, or hat the 'nothing' part. Some people say they are much lighter (I don't have one) and you can get for much cheaper than a full wig. I don't find wigs hard to care for, I wash, let air dry, and then blow dry when it's almost dry to get it smoother and into a "style".
post #227 of 601
rivka- It would depend on how long your hair is, but you could pin it up, in a twist, or something similar. Women used to wear their hair up all the time, and it does conceal most of your hair, it's length especially. Then you could look very professional, and not too 'out-there' and still keep your hair as something very special. You could even cover it with a scarf or cloth headband, and havea bit more coverage. You can even arrange it to cover your ears.
post #228 of 601
Hi everyone!! I have been moving back towards dressing more modestly lately. I was raised in an orthodox jewish home, so grew up dressing very modestly. Now I wear jeans or skirts that go past the knee. I do wear short sleeve shirts but rarely do I wear tank tops outside the house without something over it. I was wondering if there were any online places you ladies recommended to buy cute modest clothing? Everything I can find around where we live is like... grandma clothes and I am only 23!! I want to be modest and covered but not look like I am wearing a bag, does that make sense?
post #229 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama_nomad View Post
i bookmarked that head covering site right away! what i am interested in is making myself some bloomer/pantlettes to wear under skirts. i have not gone through this whole thread (not enough time!) but could anyone point me toward links to bloomer patterns or sources?

thank you!
Just found these bloomers while looking for some other stuff. http://www.myculottes.com/bloomers.html
post #230 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by chely7425 View Post
Hi everyone!! I have been moving back towards dressing more modestly lately. I was raised in an orthodox jewish home, so grew up dressing very modestly. Now I wear jeans or skirts that go past the knee. I do wear short sleeve shirts but rarely do I wear tank tops outside the house without something over it. I was wondering if there were any online places you ladies recommended to buy cute modest clothing? Everything I can find around where we live is like... grandma clothes and I am only 23!! I want to be modest and covered but not look like I am wearing a bag, does that make sense?
Welcome Rachel. I find this site a good place to start in a quest for modest clothes. It has several degrees of modest clothes, many that are still cute while covering.
post #231 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by ancoda View Post
Welcome Rachel. I find this site a good place to start in a quest for modest clothes. It has several degrees of modest clothes, many that are still cute while covering.
Cool!! Thank you very much for posting that site Hopefully I will be able to buy a couple tops after the new year!
post #232 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by imnottelling View Post
Alternatively, there are things called 'falls' which are half wig, have nothing, and you cover with a headband, scarf, or hat the 'nothing' part. Some people say they are much lighter (I don't have one) and you can get for much cheaper than a full wig. I don't find wigs hard to care for, I wash, let air dry, and then blow dry when it's almost dry to get it smoother and into a "style".
Yeah--I may try the fall. IMO, I think they look a lot more natural than most wigs.
post #233 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
rivka- It would depend on how long your hair is, but you could pin it up, in a twist, or something similar. Women used to wear their hair up all the time, and it does conceal most of your hair, it's length especially. Then you could look very professional, and not too 'out-there' and still keep your hair as something very special. You could even cover it with a scarf or cloth headband, and havea bit more coverage. You can even arrange it to cover your ears.
It isn't really a modesty thing with me, it is a religious thing. Jewish people (Orthodox) believe that married women should cover their hair. Part of it is modesty, but it is sort of a complicated religious issue that goes further than that. I am pretty wishy-washy on the whole matter, as you can tell, so please do NOT take me as a representative of the religious Jewish community. I do not represent the majority at all! I just wondered if anyone had suggestion for head covering, since many women, for a variety of reasons, wear head coverings.
post #234 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
...I've found that the only headcovering that looks truly "professional" is a hijab.
This amuses me I was playing with my tichels the other day, experimenting with ties and such, because I also feel like they don't look particularly elegant, and I put one on like hijab, it was an epiphany. Like, YES, this is how I want to look. I posted way, way upthread about liking the salwar kameez style of dress best for modesty and femininity, but I would feel sooooooooooo out of place wearing that, and/or hijab.

But I do admire the looks. I also find (I hope I'm not offending anyone) that modest Muslim women are much more fashionable than other religious types of modest dressers.... IMHO.
post #235 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faliciagayle View Post
I posted way, way upthread about liking the salwar kameez style of dress best for modesty and femininity, but I would feel sooooooooooo out of place wearing that, and/or hijab.
I LOVE that style, I just do not think I could pull it off. I am too round.
post #236 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faliciagayle View Post
TBut I do admire the looks. I also find (I hope I'm not offending anyone) that modest Muslim women are much more fashionable than other religious types of modest dressers.... IMHO.
I am forever insulted that you dare refer to my people as fashionable.







The funny thing to me about salwar kameez being considered feminine is that, style-wise, it's natively gender neutral. Regardless, I can't pull that look off either, myself ... and even if I could in terms of body shape, it would just feel a bit much like cultural appropriation for me too ... it's too distinct. *But* a nice slightly fitted duster jacket over trousers or jeans gives the same basic effect while still letting the wearer blend in in the West.
post #237 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
The funny thing to me about salwar kameez being considered feminine is that, style-wise, it's natively gender neutral. Regardless, I can't pull that look off either, myself ... and even if I could in terms of body shape, it would just feel a bit much like cultural appropriation for me too ... it's too distinct. *But* a nice slightly fitted duster jacket over trousers or jeans gives the same basic effect while still letting the wearer blend in in the West.
i agree. my mom bought me one for christmas. (she is christian, i am muslim) but i won't wear it outside the house, other than to walk the dog and such, because i would feel like i was taking away from someone else's culture.

of course i kind of feel the same way about abayas, but i am trying to get over that.
post #238 of 601
Hi, thought I'd join in here - if you all don't mind. I endeavor to dress modestly - including keeping my hair covered.
post #239 of 601

Buff for head covering? What am I doing wrong?

I am just beginning to explore covering, and will likely only do it for Mass, since I work in a "professional" environment and the motivation I have is really respect for the Eucharist, anyway.

But ... I have a huge head and thin fine hair that I'm growing out from a pixie cut, and have really run into problems trying to cover. I discovered a headband/scarf/thing called Buff http://www.buffwear.co.uk/ that is clearly marketed at the outdoorsy crowd, but is working pretty well for me to do a do-rag style.

I don't think they'd work for heavy or longer hair, which is probably what most of you have. Everything else I've tried gives me a headache, but even these tend to slip because my hair is so fine. I have bought a few, but I still feel conspicuous and uncomfortable, even though they don't scream "covering" in any way. I'm just wondering if anyone else has used these, and if I'm missing something in how I wear them, or if the problem lies with me ...
post #240 of 601
I am prone to migraines which I sometimes get from covering my hair - I've found that pre-tied tichels are super light weight and don't cause headaches. THey aren't what I typically wear, but are great for those times (I usually wear snoods or a sheitl (wig)).
I did a quick google search and this was my first hit.
http://alizasboutique.com/prbaga7.html
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